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Holy crap @LF1 thats exactly what I was talking about; law and order svu. I can't stay away from it even though it is so triggering; I sit there thinking, why am I going this to myself, why, why. what you said about understanding and needing to be understood and not feeling alone - I think...

@Flossy I agree; it probably has something to do with depression. I do the same things you've mentioned; and I hope you're right that maybe it's not such a bad thing. @Jigsaw Puzzle that makes a lot of sense, especially with where I am now. Thank you for that, greatly. You worded it very well...

It's not ridiculous to feel scared, not at all. I feel like that all the time at night. To me it seems like a -stupid and annoying, yes- but also natural response for someone in your situation.

Constantly, I feel the need to remind myself of the trauma by reading books or watching tv shows that I know will trigger me. I know that it hurts to watch, but I can't stop. It seems like I'm obligated to, like I have to. I don't know why I feel this way, I don't know why I continually make...

@imok i agree complexly with what you said about losing "me". I don't know who I am, not really. I have a thousend faces that I can put on, but no real face underneath. None of the masks are the real me but none of them are lies either; they are all equally untrue. I be who needs to be. I am...

This is very true; its been two years 'in the system' and neither I nor my parents have a clue yet! I didn't look at it that way...I guess I am discharged....that's a really scary thought...I just want to go back but I'm beginning to think that's not in the cards....this whole thing is...

Yeah, you're probably right, But I haven't been discharged! My bed is still open, they just won't let me come back! Yeah, they're working on it. And I guess I will; if I can get ahold of her email - I don't have it and I don't think my parents do either, but I will ask. Thanks for the support...

okay idk what's going on clearly I don't know how to quote people sorry! <Mod edit: please see this post - Link Removed>

Yeah, you're probably right...I know she does have a lot on her plate! I think I'm just overthinking this whole thing. Thank you :):hug: To clear that up, that's not why I want to kill myself, because I know that it's stupid; it's just another drop in the bucket. I know that's how outpatient...

Okay, so I know I haven't posted on here in a while, but there's been a lot going on. Okay, so about a month ago I had to go to the ER from the group home I live in because I needed stitches. When I got to the ER, they doctor said I should go back inpatient instead of returning to resi, so...

Towel Wrapped around Her head like A Egyptian goddess of Baths.

Renewed I breathe Feet firmly planted Ready to grow new Roots

Yeah, I can. Same with eating disorders - I've struggled with anorexia for a long time and I find that I can always tell if somebody has - or has had - an eating disorder. My friend N is the same way. We call it second sight :) I think what we've gone through makes us really perceptive and...

Smelly Pungent breath In my face. God, please brush your Teeth.

Instead Of starving I ate today. Baby steps; just keep Walking.

Tasty Chocolate icecream Dripping over the Crunchy waffle cone - with Sprinkles.

In a few ways, yes they are similar, but I would say not really. Depression can be a symptom of PTSD sometimes, or depression can form as a result of longterm PTSD.The two often feed off each other. But depression is not the same thing AS PTSD. Treatment for depression can include medication...

Squashed My heart With just one Word from her beautiful Lips.

Stolen Not just From her, but From everyone - a beautiful Life.

Listlessly My veins Run with cement Exhaustion slows my breaths Indefinitely.

Exposed I shiver Smell the chlorine Wet cement and popsicles; Summer.

Never Again will I be so Foolish as to love You.

@Karen12 I've never tried lucid dreaming; this is actually the first I've heard of it....But I'll google it and give it a shot, seeing as it seems to have worked for so many people. At this point, I'll try anything. @arfie thank you so much for explaining. :) I'll start doing that; it sounds...

I asked to be put on that, but they said no, because my blood pressure is so erratic b/c of my eating disorder and they didn't want to 'risk it'

There should be, but a lot of the time, there isn't. I understand that. I really wish there was some kind of magic answer I could give that would make everything okay, but there isn't. I'm sorry for that. Life shouldn't just be about just going through the motions - but easier said than done, I...