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  1. RussellSue

    Losing my therapist

    Thanks for the info! Yes, the reason is out-of-state licensing requirements.
  2. RussellSue

    This is Paris - Anyone watched the Paris Hilton documentary?

    I started watching This is Paris on YouTube like a straggly and agitated ostrich might watch a peacock - distrusting and maybe just a little jealous of all the luminescence and orchestrated poise. I have never been a fan but the ads finally got me. I was raised to be more masculine than...
  3. RussellSue

    Public Commitment to Exercise

    Before the move, I was doing 100, 5 lb weighted straight leg raises per leg per day and my hips felt great. I've wussed my way all the way back to 30 every other day and my hips don't feel great. On the upside, I am doing them regularly again but I want to get back to where I was. The plan is...
  4. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    That's what I have been expecting and/or concerned about. I know shit went down. The stuff I do remember is pretty screwed up but I know I have strange mental blank spots and my sister has told me about things that I don't remember. I am sure that one day they will come up to the surface. I just...
  5. RussellSue

    Public Commitment to Exercise

    I really wanted to bike with everyone else along the river while we were in Portland this summer - it looked so lovely. I need to buy a recumbent bike in order to ride again with minimal pain and I haven't made that financial commitment, yet, but my hubby has mentioned it several times so it may...
  6. RussellSue

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Will Oldham - O Let it Be
  7. RussellSue

    General Not Asking Personal Questions.

    As a sufferer, I know that I don't ask people many questions but talk about myself a lot. It isn't because I don't care so much as it is because I don't do silence very well and if I can't rely on my company to fill it, I will. Often, when I do ask people questions, I get really short answers...
  8. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    Hey! I have that one, too 😂 That would be a good one to get rid of for sure. Thank you for the detailed response. That's actually a big help because I have had a lot more fear of sudden new memories surfacing than I have about looking at my trauma. I have done so much looking at my trauma that...
  9. RussellSue

    Losing my therapist

    Thanks. We talked about it more and for now, I am planning to go back to working with him again after I get a job. I figure if he is my favorite after over 15 years' worth of therapists, it would probably be worth it for me to pay him as a mental health coach a couple of times a month.
  10. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    I have been hearing a lot about how hard EMDR is to go through and I am curious, what do you think it is about the treatment that is so hard? Is it focusing on and confronting traumas? Is it because new traumas surface? Is it because trauma responses increase during the treatment? All of the...
  11. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    I have also been under that impression. I think it is useful for anxiety even if you don't have or don't confront a traumatic event associated with the anxiety. This may be where some of my confusion over what my "coach" is planning to help me with next week. Maybe there is going to be some...
  12. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    Thanks for explaining that. This is all new territory for me. I feel unusually safe with this particular therapist, so it seems like he might be a good match for me for this sort of therapy, though I admit that I have not asked him how long he has been in practice. Based on my experience with...
  13. RussellSue

    What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

    I finally have 2 bras that fit. This is a good week.
  14. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    It didn't sound like that was the ultimate plan. I don't know enough about any of this to use the correct language to describe what is happening but I know that he had discussed some ideas about using tones and tapping to help ground myself with the idea that when I am met with some traumatic...
  15. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    I would like to know if you don't mind sharing. I distinctly remember my therapist saying that there was not a good way to do EMDR alone but that there were some techniques we could talk about that are derived from EMDR that might be helpful.
  16. RussellSue

    EMDR Self-Techniques

    Is anyone doing any type of EMDR techniques on their own? If so, how is it going? My therapist and I are doing a temporary split since he's out of state and found out that since he isn't licensed here, he shouldn't be working with me in a therapist capacity. Next week, he's giving me one free...
  17. RussellSue

    I can tell I'm spinning

    Do you take baths? It seems like men don't take baths. I have high anxiety and a lot of years of cPTSD under my belt and taking baths helps me to get grounded quicker than most things. I also have a weighted lap pad and do a lot of deep breathing and exercise more than average - all are very...
  18. RussellSue

    Distrust

    Well, maybe not. I imagine different things work for different people depending on a lot of different factors. It was advice I had been given after having had cPTSD for over 20 years and it has been helpful for me.
  19. RussellSue

    Losing my therapist

    We had two sessions before I left Oregon. The deal was that we would see how doing distance sessions would work with me now being out of state and all. We, personally, were fine. In fact, in my list of a gazillion therapists, I'd say Wil was my favorite but he says he's looked into it further...
  20. RussellSue

    Book recommendations

    Someone here recommended The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. to me. It is possibly the best book I have read regarding trauma. Best of luck with your search.
  21. RussellSue

    Distrust

    Over time, the most important thing anyone has ever told me was pretty simple in theory but not as easy in practice. He said, "you are supposed to love people, no one said a damned thing about trusting them. Trust means you are putting expectations on people." As a severely damaged little girl...
  22. RussellSue

    Affirmations!! say something nice about yourself!

    I am a hard worker.
  23. RussellSue

    Losing my temper...

    With other people, sure. With my family, I sort of doubt it. I wish I could explain why but I am not sure I understand it. It's like no matter what I do, if it expresses the slightest displeasure, I am a jerk. No one in my family is allowed the slightest unhappiness with the next member - it's...
  24. RussellSue

    Losing my temper...

    You touched on something important here that I have been unable to verbalize. I often express anger in a way that should increase self-respect but since I have never been allowed to have that - I feel terrible guilt about it. I am trying to work on how to forgive myself for defending myself when...
  25. RussellSue

    Family Loyalty

    It has definitely been helpful. Thanks. I hope you are able to get there, too. I'll admit that we still have some baggage but things continue to surface. She apologized to me recently for following my stepfather's lead in being an asshole to me when we were kids. I have a cleft lip and palate...
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