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  1. FauxLiz

    Fell way off the wagon last couple of weeks.

    @piratelady this time last year I took a three week vacation/digital detox and didn't respond to email or phone calls and left the state so that I wasn't accessible or tempted to just drop by work. That isn't an option this year as my job heavily intersects with the US election and there is no...
  2. FauxLiz

    Fell way off the wagon last couple of weeks.

    I am really struggling today. I had a last minute session with T yesterday that really didn't help much. I don't know if this is just temporary burnout due to stress from my job or the beginning of another major downward spiral similar to what I had in 2017 that led to three hospitalizations...
  3. FauxLiz

    Fell way off the wagon last couple of weeks.

    @piratelady i have started trying to exercise more but my fear is that I won’t regulate that either and as history shows push to far and injury myself @Mach123 i had been doing really well for over a year, controlling my unhealthy coping mechanisms making progress we even believe we had...
  4. FauxLiz

    Fell way off the wagon last couple of weeks.

    @piratelady I am trying to stick to positive distractions have been working 12-14 hour days to stay away from home but as last night shows I still fail sometimes.
  5. FauxLiz

    Fell way off the wagon last couple of weeks.

    I reached out to my T this morning asking if we could schedule another session (I have a work commitment that caused me to cancel next week's session but he is booked. He will check with me if he gets a cancelation. The worst thing is even with the slow down agreement I indulged in trauma...
  6. FauxLiz

    Fell way off the wagon last couple of weeks.

    Just over a week ago things were going well. Then I had my weekly session with my T and we were talking about feeling as though we had processed through my primary trauma and it would be good to begin processing one of my next two significant traumas which we had thought would not be as...
  7. FauxLiz

    Holiday guilt trips

    I am still struggling with any thought of the holiday season this year. COVID doesn't help, my father will be turning 82 three days before Christmas but has been part of the US deniers groups saying that the disease is not that bad, that it is just one group attempting to use scare tactics to...
  8. FauxLiz

    Holiday guilt trips

    The family guilt trips about all coming together started earlier this year than usual with a group to text to all the siblings from my brother announcing a command performance of family love and unity for Christmas. My therapist has already asked me to really think about how healthy it will be...
  9. FauxLiz

    So F**king frustrating! - Why is it so hard to understand that you don't mess with what works just because you are new?

    So after typing up several less than nice email messages to the PA and to the practice I decided that sending something when I was so upset was counter productive. Instead, I took stock of my situation. I have been unable to find an alternative P-doc provider over the past 6 months that was...
  10. FauxLiz

    Is this routine? Do psychiatrists always insist on bringing in and talking to another family member during sessions with you?

    @Still Standing I have been under the care of two psychiatrists in outpatient settings, two different psychiatrists in inpatient settings and have just been assigned a new PA in outpatient and have never once had anyone else brought in to my sessions nor insist on speaking to any member of my...
  11. FauxLiz

    So F**king frustrating! - Why is it so hard to understand that you don't mess with what works just because you are new?

    So back in March my P-doc informed me that that would be our last session as he was leaving the organization at the end of the month. I don't blame him for leaving as all I have heard from the large practice he was part of was that they were struggling to re-assign his nine hundred yes 900...
  12. FauxLiz

    Public Commitment to Exercise

    By 11:59:59 pm on Sunday September 14th I will have exercised 4 out of 7 days for at least 30 mins each occurrence.
  13. FauxLiz

    Meanwhile, back in college

    @RussellSue I wouldn't worry about getting a negative reference from the previous position. I work in HR and there are actually laws regarding what a past employer can say about an employee. Specific answers to questions asked. As an employee go ahead and put the position on your resume. If...
  14. FauxLiz

    Struggling with desire to return to former T

    @blackemerald1 If I never saw my former T again I could live with it, but for now I don't have too. We are doing a short 30 min telehealth session this weekend and though I am confident that I will return to my former location for work and living after some good discussions with my current T I...
  15. FauxLiz

    Going back to school, sort of...

    I haven't taken any classes in 15 years since I finished my master's program but I have reached a point that I want to stop being a generalist in my field and focus on one area. So I have taken the plunge and registered for a certification prep class that will run all fall and will prepare me...
  16. FauxLiz

    Struggling with desire to return to former T

    @blackemerald1 What the idea of closure means to me is that I don't feel that we ended our relationship in a manner that allowed me to move on. When I relocated he told me that he would continue to meet with me until I had found a therapist that I could work with. I knew that we would not be...
  17. FauxLiz

    Struggling with desire to return to former T

    So I had a conversation with my current T last night and I have reached out to my former T and am still waiting to see if he responds. My attachment to my former T remains, and the work I have done over the last two years has been hard, challenging and uncomfortable and while those are all...
  18. FauxLiz

    Relationship SO has dissociated and the part of her that is doing the driving right now has her abusive ex staying in our house. What do I do???

    I am not sure I understand this, Alabama is a no fault divorce state meaning if he wanted this requirement it just means that the divorce is considered "contested" rather than "uncontested", it makes divorce a bit more complicated but was not the only way she could get the divorce.
  19. FauxLiz

    Struggling with desire to return to former T

    I want to thank everyone for the input. With insurance I can only have one therapist and one psychiatrist at a time so unfortunately I can't have both. I will probably reach out to my Former and see if there is even a chance that we could work together, but it probably is a good topic to...
  20. FauxLiz

    Struggling with desire to return to former T

    A couple of years ago I relocated across the state and as a result I had to terminate my long term relationship with my T of four years. One of the primary reasons though not the only was that my insurance was changing and he didn't accept my new insurance. The other major reason was distance...
  21. FauxLiz

    Sufferer Shared Humanity

    Hello right back at you. Don't sweat intro, honestly I never did one and I have been here probably 4 years now.
  22. FauxLiz

    Other Was not prepared for that, can't go back and think I need to report him.

    I went to see the dr today as I have had pain in my ankle/heel area for a couple weeks that felt very similar to when I had tendinitis in the Achilles of the other leg. My PCP dr was great and after a physical inspection and knowing that I made a three hour drive to see him he reached out to a...
  23. FauxLiz

    It's over...

    @blackemerald1 and @PreciousChild thank you for continuing to think about me. I took some time off this past week in part because I had PTO that I was going to lose if I didn't use before July 1 and partially because I had been really ignoring my self-care the past several months due to the...
  24. FauxLiz

    It's over...

    @Survivor3 i will probably get to that point right now I just want to not contact him at all unless absolutely necessary. Our last conversation when he said he was out ended with me sayi would like to keep things “friendly” I didn’t say stay friends in part because I know that we will both be...
  25. FauxLiz

    It's over...

    @Survivor3 blocking him is not an option unfortunately because his work/employer does interact and conduct business with my organization/employer and we both do so in a small rural area where eliminating communication between him and I from a work capacity would be very detrimental to my career...
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