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    I Feel Like I Am in the "Trauma Olympics" With My New Friend

    Uhhh ok. I don't want to change her. I just got overly excited to possibly make a new friend but didn't know how to react that one aspect or what to make of it. I was drawn to her because she presents herself as someone who's mission is to help others heal from trauma, studying with some of the...
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    I Feel Like I Am in the "Trauma Olympics" With My New Friend

    Ahhh. Interesting. That makes sense. She just seems to do this both in group and private conversations. And since I am new to the group, I don't feel like it's my place to redirect the conversation or halt it. Her friends seem to either awkwardly acknowledge it or ignore it. Its as if, like...
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    I Feel Like I Am in the "Trauma Olympics" With My New Friend

    Yes. Seems pretty accurate. She seems to have a big chip on her shoulder because the mental health system/legal system/mother/men have repeatedly let her down so she has a really negative view of psychology as a whole, understandably so. Understood. It wasn't my intention to shut her down, just...
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    I Feel Like I Am in the "Trauma Olympics" With My New Friend

    So I met a new friend... she seemed like she had an admirable goal of helping others with trauma... it's her life's mission. But it seems like her traumatic background defines her so much so that she awkwardly interjects some reference to her trauma every 10 minutes or so in a group setting and...
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    I Feel Like a Fraud or That My Trauma isn't Severe So I Am a Failure

    I can relate. Strangely, since I created this thread, I realized how much I downplay my experiences, because I didn't want to deal with the emotions. But my soul still wanted to be acknowledged so I was just being a walking contradiction. I realized that I was probably physically abused as a...
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    I Feel Like a Fraud or That My Trauma isn't Severe So I Am a Failure

    Yes, this is very well put for @mytearsaregenuine situation. It does sound very difficult.
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    Can You Get Triggers for Traumas You Don't Remember?

    @Changing4Best and @Ronin After exploring my thoughts with the therapist, I realized that I just was in denial of physical abuse. I mean my perpetrators weren't trying to be malicious, but they were young, burnt out and lacked proper training. And because I had the most needs of all the...
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    How Do You Get Over a Toxic Ex?

    You're completely right. I was incredibly angry and I lashed out. Thank you for talking some sense into me.
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    How Do You Get Over a Toxic Ex?

    UPDATE: I wrote a couple of open letters on a forum my ex frequents and he sends me a long-winded video message of how he's terrified me exposing him because I know about him than most. I replied with a message, saying work on being a better person and if not, people will eventually see through...
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    Can You Get Triggers for Traumas You Don't Remember?

    Yes, great point! There is definitely a fine line. It is easy to go down the rabbit hole. The issues I mentioned above are things I have struggled with since as long as I can remember even before I got adopted so it's hard to tell sometimes if it is related to trauma, personality quirks, or both.
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    Can You Get Triggers for Traumas You Don't Remember?

    For the longest time, I have wondered if certain triggers indicate a forgotten trauma but the trouble is I can't remember anything specifically that would cause such strong triggers. Most of my desensitization has been guess best hypotheses and it gets frustrating. My gut tells me some things...
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    Inconsolable Rage Fits

    Thank you so much. I am getting a lot more insight in this exchange than years of therapy regarding the rage. I knew the rage symbolized something but I could never put my finger on it. Now that I think about it more closely, I think I dissociated to protect myself from pain but then rage...
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    Inconsolable Rage Fits

    My major triggers tend to be feeling hopeless and not feeling heard/getting needs met. When I got into rage fits, it felt like my world was caving in, I wanted to crawl out of my skin, I wanted to run but couldn't (I have mobility issues), and my mind was being hijacked. Afterwards, I felt...
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    Inconsolable Rage Fits

    Well, to be honest, I was actually abandoned as little baby, was a ward of the Korean government until I was 5, and had very painful reconstructive leg surgeries. My best guess is that my little brain just couldn't handle the chaos and all the physical pain. But now I am most likely giving the...
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    Very specific trigger that doesn’t make sense to me

    At least for me, feeling stupid <--> criticism <--> someone's unpredictable angry outbursts. Maybe it's something like that for you?
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    Inconsolable Rage Fits

    From about age 5-25, I would have 3 hour+ rage fits 1-2x a month where I would cry and scream and feel completely out of control without knowing where it all came from. Nothing would console me until I got rid of all the emotional energy. To reduce the frequency of the rage fits, I emotionally...
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    How Do You Get Over a Toxic Ex?

    That sounds quite difficult. The lack of acknowledgement can be soul-sucking and excruciating, but being acknowledged has another set of problems. It's all just sucky. My ex did admit to abusing me but it kinda felt like a tinge of rationalization and I felt angry that he knowingly hurt me.
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    Women/feminists deny male victimhood

    I think men often do get overlooked and minimized because of cultural norms and expectations. It is often seen as "cool" when a female comes onto the male because of the prevailing idea that "men always want sex". I have heard from a couple males that they have had females sexually force...
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    What helps you connect to your feelings?

    Listening to music on repeat and writing.
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    How Do You Get Over a Toxic Ex?

    Thank you, I really do need to focus on myself. I essentially stayed because of my own unresolved trauma from childhood. I thought I had been doing so much better, quit therapy, and my blindspots got the best of me. I didn't want to "abandon him", and be "a failure" by giving up on him, and...
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    Not for men only - a place to discuss men's trauma issues (comments welcomed from all)

    Interesting. I think it could very well be dissociation. It is always as if they were trying to embody the opposite of the unhealthy female archetype that hurt them to the core. It saddens me to see such an existential pain. Anyways, thank you for the exchange. ?
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    Not for men only - a place to discuss men's trauma issues (comments welcomed from all)

    Ahh fair! I just saw these people tended to very child-free, relationship struggles, had very strong opinions about gender roles but at the same time intellectually fairly egalitarian. It could have just been correlation and not causation. I found it interesting and was curious. ? Nothing...
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    I Feel Like a Fraud or That My Trauma isn't Severe So I Am a Failure

    @Justmehere I appreciate your empathetic and tough love response. It really puts a lot of things into perspective. Thanks for pointing out the doubting and self-worth element. A core part of my trauma was about people doing things "in my best interest" (a lot of it was well-meaning but with...
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    How Do You Get Over a Toxic Ex?

    @Lumos I can't imagine years of that type of abuse. Sorry to hear that. I was only in it for 11 months and it shook me to the core. Yes. I foolishly went back twice. Each time he got more violatile. He told me that he fantasized about physically hurting me anytime he got angry. He also...
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    Not for men only - a place to discuss men's trauma issues (comments welcomed from all)

    How does trauma from a mother figure play out in men's heterosexual relationships? I have noticed certain commonalities in a small sample size. So I am curious.
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