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  1. Sideways

    Not for men only - a place to discuss men's trauma issues (comments welcomed from all)

    Sheesh - haven't seen the episode you're talking about, but that sounds like more than objectification, and definitely humiliation and degradation. On (inter)national tv. I hope, like a growing number of reality shows here in Australia, the provision of professional counselling support, even...
  2. Sideways

    Safety is a trigger

    I didn't actually pop into this thread, except I'm reading a book by Matt Haig about depression and anxiety. A comment I just read made me think of your thread title: "Actually, [mental illness] can be exacerbated by things being right externally, because the gulf between what you feel and...
  3. Sideways

    Photography Club

    It's not a spectacular landscape, but it is proof me and doggo left the house today. The local frogs have been going crazy, and our creek was practically crawling with fat little tadpoles.
  4. Sideways

    Readers thread: what or who are you reading right now?

    Continuing the theme, I'm now on to Reasons To Stay Alive, by Matt Haig. So far, it does appear that having, or finding, a life partner is an essential theme in mental illness survivor books. Dang. Haig has (helpfully) pointed out that if you're in that moment where you're seriously...
  5. Sideways

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    In an attempt to rack up more time out of the house, I had noodles take out. Go me! I discovered, in the process, that I am now that annoying customer: the one that wants the pad thai, but with tofu instead of chicken, and the satay sauce instead of the pad thai sauce, and by the time I'm done...
  6. Sideways

    News Worldwide impact of the novel coronavirus (covid-19)

    Sweden seems to still be getting a good rap in some sections about the benefits of their 'herd immunity' approach. Certainly, from a utilitarian perspective, or an ultra-liberal "what about my personal freedoms" perspective, the longer-lasting freedoms there's some kind of "Yay Sweden" argument...
  7. Sideways

    DID DID I need some support

    Switching in therapy, for me, means that I have parts that (a) want to be heard; (b) have decided my T is a potential trustworthy ally to help with that part's issues; and (c) feel that I'm not communicating their side of things effectively (which is oftentimes because I just don't know). It...
  8. Sideways

    News Worldwide impact of the novel coronavirus (covid-19)

    To herd immunity? There still seems to be a lot of optimism about vaccinations becoming available at some point next year. So, managing the situation in the meantime, there's multiple options. Even here within Australia, there's multiple different management approaches being taken. In...
  9. Sideways

    Readers thread: what or who are you reading right now?

    I'm currently fixated on stories about how people actually recover. I'm not sure it's healthy! The last one I read was a Depression survivor - except the reviews subsequently revealed he ultimately sadly lost his battle. So...not recommending that one! ETA I'm thinking Bri Lee may have been...
  10. Sideways

    Readers thread: what or who are you reading right now?

    Eggshell Skull by Bri Lee. Unapologetically feminist, mind you she gives a consistent, clear personal reason why. It's been surprisingly uncomfortable reading about the degree of shame, and then outrage, at what she went through. Which, relative to the audience on this site, would be...
  11. Sideways

    "Why don't you just stop self injuring?"

    Million dollar question. Incredibly complex. And incredibly simple. Oftentimes for me? The honest answer is, "Because I'm afraid." Which is not easy to say out loud to a stranger. It's incredibly hard when we're really unwell - we have to convince a T that we hire that we are safe from...
  12. Sideways

    Getting a Service Dog.

    Never in doubt - what a brilliant team:) Congrats to you both?
  13. Sideways

    What is "Rage" as a behavior or symptom?

    If they have the right training? Then yes. A good psychiatrist, for example, will be monitoring your body language, including tiny nuances that you don't even realise you're doing, while you talk. Partly to assess whether the words coming out of your mouth accurately reflect your physical and...
  14. Sideways

    "Why don't you just stop self injuring?"

    The question may simply mean exactly what it says: why don't you just stop? Maybe because you're getting something out of it, or you've got some core belief driving it and you believe you have to, or, or, or... I think if the question is coming from a therapist, rather than someone who doesn't...
  15. Sideways

    Is sleeping avoidance?

    For me it can be Avoidance of ptsd stuff. Or it can be a major depressive episode. They're quite distinct for me. The former I tend to retreat to bed during the day, the latter I simply need craploads of sleep. This is an awesome coping strategy. The physical stuff resetting the chemical...
  16. Sideways

    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    Does your doc have an email address? That would be my first go-to. Means I can be much more frank than I have the guts to be in person, and I can give them the heads up asap. Which gives them the chance to help you out faster if they check it regularly. Some people like the phone. That's...
  17. Sideways

    Last movie or tv series you watched?

    Doom Patrol, Season 1, Episode 9: Jane Patrol I watched this with my sister, and had to work overtime to stop myself constantly yelling out, "OMG! That's exactly what having DID is like!" (which is something I've said about the media's portrayal of DID like, never ever).
  18. Sideways

    Service dog handler lobby

    This doesn't actually surprise me. Even coming from a vet it wouldn't surprise me. It's so very typical of the dog community - it's almost like talking politics, where people don't just have their opinions (which may or may not be from solid scientific basis or not), but they're so...
  19. Sideways

    Service dog handler lobby

    Yeah - I remember you saying this, but I hadn't heard it before and didn't know where you were sourcing that from, so I didn't challenge it. To the extent that some dogs are just naturally better at being SDs than others it's probably true to a degree. Like a whole litter of pups go through...
  20. Sideways

    Service dog handler lobby

    @lostforgottensoul - Hehe, it takes a while for those scientists to get around to proving what we've known for a while!! Not very surprising, but useful for anyone considering a seizure alert dog and feeling cynical:)
  21. Sideways

    How do you ask people for help?

    ACT has been incredibly helpful to me learning how to coexist with really painful or uncomfortable emotions - I hear you:)
  22. Sideways

    Help with choosing a therapist- gender and triggers

    Totally agree with this statement. Even if working with a female T is a stressor, rather than a trigger. If you were to prioritise your treatment goals, my guess is that "being able to work with a female therapist" is waaaaay down the list. By choosing a female T, it will be the first thing...
  23. Sideways

    Readers thread: what or who are you reading right now?

    The Natural Way Of Things, by Charlotte Wood. Holy shit (my initial reaction when I finished this book). I missed the point of Lord of the Flies the first time I read it. This one ends differently, but I didn't miss the point this time (although, I'd done my homework googling the Hay...
  24. Sideways

    How do you ask people for help?

    Not a baby step. It's a big step. And despite how it feels? You're doing a pretty awesome job of it. Based on your post, and your journalling? I'm seeing someone who is actively practicing asking for help. You're doing that. Done it multiple times - here in your journal, work, with your...
  25. Sideways

    General Not Asking Personal Questions.

    If I have a friend who isn't interested in asking me questions about me? Then I interpret that as they're not particularly interested. Can't force 'em to want to know more about me just because I want to know more about them. And that, to me? Speaks to an imbalance in how important this...