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  1. Sideways

    Childhood Coping with CSA

    With DID, my memories are still very much out of my reach, and I'm okay with that. But, for those who have been through it - how did you cope when you first really understood that you were sexually abused as a young child? I've kept myself very cut off from allowing that to be part of who I...
  2. Sideways

    Vegan Safe Space

    Hey guys I've (finally) committed to making the leap from vegetarian to vegan while my sister is away and I won't be quizzed endlessly while I'm still making the switch. I have some dumb questions (and some less dumb questions that I'll probably have to work up the courage to ask) if anyone...
  3. Sideways

    Tolerating side effects

    If you've never been very good at advocating for yourself, or saying "I'm not going to put up with this", or knowing when you need to do that, how do you figure out what side effects from your medication you should tolerate, and when side effects have become unreasonable. For example: Hair loss...
  4. Sideways

    Recovery Playlist - Positive Energy

    While I lie with my head upside with a migraine, I have some time to mess around on my phone. I'd like to put together a playlist of songs that feed motivation and a drive towards recovery (music is a powerful motivator for me). Preferably I'm looking for positive energy songs, from a variety...
  5. Sideways

    Headaches

    When it's not a migraine, dehydration or tension headache, but a side effect from medication, what are your headache management solutions? I don't want to take any more opiate painkillers, but my aspirin and paracetamol aren't touching the sides. I've bumped up my water intake from 2L (my...
  6. Sideways

    Brainwashing recovery

    Anyone have any good de-programming resources or ex-cult resources they can point me to? Very much appreciated. Please no references to self compassion based resources.
  7. Sideways

    Poll Optimism

    Feel free to elaborate on your answer. If you are often optimistic, does this come naturally, or are there specific things you do to generate optimism? If optimism is something you experience only some of the time, what influences that, and how does it impact your experience of ptsd? If you...
  8. Sideways

    ED Muscle pain & Eating - restricted calorie intake

    So, it’s been a while now (maybe 6 months plus) that I’ve been living on meal replacement shakes and apples. So, about 700-800 calories a day. Recently, I’ve been having chronic, generalised pain (not neuropathic) in my larger muscle groups. My arse and thighs in particular. I’ve had issues...
  9. Sideways

    Research Pelvic Pain: for women

    I recently went to an eye-opening doctor’s appointment with a relative who is suffering from awry menstrual issues and migraines. One of the things that the doctor recommended was checking out a booklet put out by the Pelvic Pain Foundation. So I did. It’s one of the most helpful, easy to...
  10. Sideways

    Other Acid reflux meds & long term side effects

    Okay so I’ve been on one of the ‘prazole’ Proton Pump Inhibitors for at least 10 years (long time). The long term side effects of these meds seem to now becoming apparent (because that’s about how long we’ve been using them) and are pretty alarming. What? Acid reflux? GORD? Used to use...
  11. Sideways

    When to get mad, and when to let it go

    When someone has treated you really badly, been really disrespectful about you, or undermined you to others, or maybe, like, sabotaged your recovery and your alliance with your treatment team...stuff like that... How do you decide when to (a) be motivated by your anger and try...
  12. Sideways

    Did you regret throwing out your journals?

    I’ve made the tough decision to move. My new place will be smaller, which is cool, because it’s a legitimate reason to throw out as much stuff as I possibly can. My mum (who knows me pretty well) is concerned that I’m getting rid of too much stuff. I’ve been on a fairly obsessive “shed...
  13. Sideways

    How do you connect with what you value?

    I’m feeling completely disconnected from life (and wanting to be part of it at all) and the things I value. I’m trying to reconnect with my values to work on that. How do you figure out what you value? What you used to value?
  14. Sideways

    How do you know if you consent?

    A while back now I had a pdoc who told me that he didn’t think I had the legal capacity to give consent to sex, because I was too conditioned by my past experiences to truly exercise ‘free will’ in deciding whether I consented or not. He said I needed to work on that. Been working in that for...
  15. Sideways

    Self Harm Feedback

    So, this is the second year that I haven’t been hospitalised over the xmas-new year period. I have 2 trauma anniversaries on top of the family stressors. I don’t handle it well. PRN isn’t really doing as much as it needs to, and I’ve started SHing (for the first time in over 6 months-ish)...
  16. Sideways

    I’m officially a dog trainer!

    I thought for a long time that I needed my recovery path to lead back to where I was before I got sick. I thought that I needed to get back to law. Over the course of this year though, I’ve been helping out with classes run by the organisation that helped train my Assistance Dog. I’ve been...
  17. Sideways

    Did quitting smoking improve your mood?

    Looking for insight from others & supportive comments... I quit smoking and increased my anti-depressant (pristiq) in August. My mood has improved substantially (albeit gradually) over those months. Tbh, staying quit is still a daily struggle. My physical health has improved, but I still...
  18. Sideways

    Would you release your therapy notes to the police?

    The police have asked me to consent to the release of my pdoc’s therapy notes. I’ve made a formal complaint about my the abuse I underwent at school when I was 12. But it also contains some limited details of sexual abuse that occurred when I was a little kid, which involves members of my...
  19. Sideways

    Heat panic

    So the weather here is hot (30+ every day) and humid (80% - subtropical). Which triggers flashbacks for me. But my pdoc explained that heat also causes our heart rate to increase, which is potentially what is causing me to panic. Amygdala is basically interpreting heat as a threat, that I...
  20. Sideways

    Gaslighting & believing them

    A few years ago now, I OD’ed and ended up in ICU. It was the 3rd time. My mum didn’t cope well with the stress, and when I was in hospital she cut contact. We’ve since largely repaired the relationship after a lot of hard work and ‘putting things behind us’. I don’t know if that was...
  21. Sideways

    Do i actually like anyone???

    Sounds like a stupid question, but in all seriousness, how do you know if you like someone? Or if they’re important to you? Apart from listing off their positive qualities, how do you really know, “Yeah, I like that person?” What makes that dynamic different? Friends, partners, anyone... My...
  22. Sideways

    How do you know if it’s worth it?

    I am not a social person. I spend a lot of time trying to negotiate living with agoraphobia (bit of a contradiction) and depressive symptoms in particular. Somehow, I’ve managed to end up in a relationship with a guy who seems friendly, trustworthy, keen on doing right by me. When we get...
  23. Sideways

    Have you researched your abuse?

    I've dabbled in a small amount of reading about ritual abuse but to date, I really haven't looked much into things like hypnosis and the cult background to my abuse. To the surprise of my T. Apart from it potentially being a (fairly obvious) trigger, part of me has always been a bit afraid of...
  24. Sideways

    Neighbour has set up a camera

    I have a creepy old man living downstairs, pedophile (did 6 years) who has a habit of coming out of his apartment when I'm coming and going. Just to watch. I recently put up a large external blind which now means that he can't see into my apartment. Which completely changed things for me - I...
  25. Sideways

    Superstar shih-tzu

    My lil shih-tzu Buddy passed his Public Access Test this morning after less than 4 months of formal classes. What a champion! We have been working like crazy for this, and being able to go anywhere is going to be pretty life changing. One proud Ragdoll today:)
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