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    Being retraumatized whereever I work - do safe places exist?

    @Anna59 im sorry i think i missed your comment! im sorry youre experiencingthis as well and i hope you find something that feels doable. @Friday just rereading your comment my friend and it is gold :). Im just the right mix of triggered enough and calm right now to be able to comprehend it and...
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    Old habits die hard, when will the self sabotage end?

    I found the disabiltiy services in my college very helpful. The coordinator would work with me to ask for extensions if i needed them and premailed my peofessors so they were mentally prepared for thefact that i would need extensions. They also linked with me a coach type person who would meet...
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    Overwhelming fear

    Thanks for the reply guys. Really feel like im watching myself hit rock bottom right now and feel incapable of stopping it from happening.
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    Overwhelming fear

    Hi all Having thoughts like people arent safe cant be trusted, cant go in to work and be around people tomorrow, i am not capable of defending myself, if something bad happens i will go into freeze or fawn and just be stuck in a bad situation. Dont know how to come out of this and it feels...
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    Other people don't exist / I don't exist

    Thank you for taking the time to reply all <3 @triptych you're comment makes me think that it is about being disconnected to the person and maybe also a little about being disconnected with the part that is in relationship with the person? I can feel this way about some pretty close people...
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    Talk or don't talk... that's the question

    I wish I knew :) This is a very lonely journey, but forums like this one, and reading the experiences of everyone here makes it more beautiful because it feels like while we're here at least we can stop pretending that shit doesnt suck or that it's easy. For myself, I like being around people...
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    Do i have a bull's eye on my back?

    @blackemerald1 I am pleased I did the asking :). I think even if it doesn't improve the relationship it made me feel less helpless.
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    Other people don't exist / I don't exist

    Hey all, Has anyone ever experienced this feeling? I am not sure if it is a core belief or dissociation or a mix of both. Either way, definitely impacts my behaviour and makes it harder to build relationships. I am unlikely to ask about your cats surgery if my brain is screaming you're an...
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    Do i have a bull's eye on my back?

    Hi both, thanks for your replies. I had to step back from the issue because it was causing me to spiral but am now in a (somewhat better) place to be able to read and take your input in. Black emerald - I have still been listening and providing support to her when she shares with me as best I...
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    Do i have a bull's eye on my back?

    Hi all, A very good friend I had vetted out for being "safe" and who i have known for 5 years has gradually been turning snide and mean girl-esque with me to the point that it's starting to trigger old stuff. I have set a time to speak to her about it, but the damage is done in terms of...
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    Inner Kid Work

    It's beautiful to read about everyone's inner child work. The way I have experienced it, It has been about play, and brining that energy to my adult life. There are also components of learning to reconnect with the qualities I had when I was a child, and like others have said, reparenting. Two...
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    Responsible for the World

    I am struggling with this as well. Something that has helped me in the past is practicing mindful self compassion - there is a website called centre for mindful self compassion, if you go to the practice tab on the website they have a guided meditation especially for caregivers that was very...
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    Overwhelmed, frustrated, hopeless

    Sigh how could that be when he's such a sweet considerate person and I miss him so much...? For real thou, thank you. Your reply really helped me.
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    Therapist asked what i need from them

    That was beautiful to read eSp. Thank you for the replies everyone. I think my conclusion is that it doesn't make me feel helpless - I am here, hoping she can help, if I knew what to do, I would just do that. And that I do also read it as her not knowing how to help me and that makes me feel...
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    Overwhelmed, frustrated, hopeless

    Hey all, Just making this thread to vent. I experienced a relationship for the first time between end 2018 to beginning 2020. I was happy for some parts, but it was such an onslaught of unexpected triggers and non stop confusion. We are still in touch because he "wanted to be a constant...
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    Conflict avoidance / leaving therapy

    @Muttly I don't know, I pick up the message that someone is upset if they withdraw. Most people don't but I really don't understand how, unless they purposely ignore it. So it makes sense to my mind. @Rab87 thank you for your very thoughtful reply. I agree, I am feeling at a loss of how to...
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    Childhood Abusive father coming home

    Hi all, We have decided to bring my dad home from the institution he is in tomorrow as he will be at risk of servere covid 19. He has a history of being abusive and my ptsd goes haywire when I'm around him. My workload has increased and I will need to be functional so I can't afford to spiral...
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    Conflict avoidance / leaving therapy

    @Friday Thank you for the second part of your msg as well. That is definitely something I do. I think part of my response in this situation as well, but maybe not the biggest part. I think will only be able to analyse this when I am calmer.
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    Conflict avoidance / leaving therapy

    @Friday thank you for your long and thoughtful reply. I am thinking about the cost/risk analysis you did and this is how it feels to me: Telling her and leaving: risk of being invalidated and gaslit, risk of internalizing that, risk of carrying it forward until I can heal it .Possible gain of...
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    Conflict avoidance / leaving therapy

    @Wonder Woman thank you for the warm thoughts. @whiteraven im sorry you have been through this as well but your post makes me feel less lonely @Truthful_Whispers yes possibly. I do need a therapist who's very good at communication and reliability to not spiral at this year for some reason. In...
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    Conflict avoidance / leaving therapy

    I have her WhatsApp. It's a potential route, but it's very distressing for me to wait for replies, and I'm not feeling good enough to put myself through that. @LuckiLee @Muttly Sigh... I hear you guys and will think about it. I am getting tired of putting in the work so will have to see what I...
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    Conflict avoidance / leaving therapy

    Hi supportive humans Last weekend I decided to leave therapy. My therapist did something that led to me feeling abandoned. I would have liked to talk about it in therapy, but I don't want to. I don't feel safe raising it, and my mind blocks of and refuses to engage on any thoughts about how I...
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    Therapist asked what i need from them

    It was kind of a heavy session today with some flashbacks. It's a new occurrence for me to have memories come up and try to stay with them in therapy. She asked me what I needed from her and I didn't know. What are things your therapist does when you have flashbacks that help?
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