Search results

  1. PreciousChild

    Must appease the toxic person

    I discovered a new cognitive distortion that I would like help thinking through. I realized recently that I become very focused on appeasing the toxic person. For example, my ex was a vulnerable narcissist, and when the relationship ended, though I had no desire at all to ever get back with him...
  2. PreciousChild

    Is this a form of self injury?

    I haven't had experience with self injury, and I never heard about it manifesting this way, so I wanted to see if anyone had any insights about this. I have a friend who has a 15 year old teen who is "accident prone." He's already broken 4 bones in his body at different times. His "accidents"...
  3. PreciousChild

    Grateful for love, but it can't be a substitute for self-love

    I'm very triggered, and partly intended to write another post about how I fear I've done something to alienate my bf and try to assess the reality of it or is it the ptsd? That happens quite frequently with me because my dad would punish me severely for the most innocuous deeds or words. I grew...
  4. PreciousChild

    is he breaking up with me?

    I'm so triggered. The other night, I said some pretty harsh things to my bf, and I feel like he's ignoring me today because of it. I basically told him how when I first met him, he said something rude and I told him that I was thinking "F**k you, motherf***ker". I was joking. I was just...
  5. PreciousChild

    "Moral Support" - what is that?

    I was talking to my T the other day, and it's funny because once in while I have to qualify what I'm about to say by saying, "Humans seem to need X..." I feel like an alien sometimes trying to figure humans out, and I'm not sure if it's just a part of my personality, the ptsd, or what. One...
  6. PreciousChild

    fear of losing home

    I haven't felt this dysregulated in a while. I'm feeling overwhelmed with the lockdown, and I'm continuing to work which has been stressful. Also, my landlord keeps "forgetting" to cash my rent checks. It makes me think that he's trying to get rid of me. Maybe he'll claim that I was...
  7. PreciousChild

    We can control anger

    I posted a thread that got a lot of replies a while back about anger. I feel pretty strongly that folks with ptsd should not use it as an excuse to target toxic anger onto others. The people who deserve our anger is our abusers, but we often cause our partners and children suffering by directing...
  8. PreciousChild

    Will I never learn how to love?

    I can theoretically talk about love and a part of me puts a lot of stock in it. But in practice, I feel like there are some fundamental pieces missing inside my soul. I am so drained from today, but actually NOTHING happened. But I had a full on drama in my head of my own making that has left me...
  9. PreciousChild

    Social media anxiety

    I wanted to see if anyone could relate and help me better cope. I get anxious about posting on social media. I don't post often, but I sometimes feel the need/desire to share, but if I do post, I am immediately seized with anxiety and self-consciousness. I feel exposed and I worry about how many...
  10. PreciousChild

    Equating childhood incompetence for willful aggression

    I just uncovered a cognitive distortion that I wanted to express and wondered if anyone could relate. It's something like 'I am an evil, hurtful bitch if I don't meet someone's needs.' Now that I write it, it seems like a pretty standard cognitive distortion among us. But I guess I'm letting it...
  11. PreciousChild

    Feeling exposed after telling about ptsd

    I recently revealed to my bf some of the things that happened in my childhood that resulted in my ptsd and went into more detail than I ever have, like how my mom watched me attempt suicide and told me not to fail because she was worried that I'd be a burden as a coma victim. I thought he would...
  12. PreciousChild

    Intrusive or justified advice about parenting?

    Hi all, I've been trying to not be so codependent and am trying to mind my own business. But I've been tempted for a long while to give feedback to my bf about his ex and the way she parents her child. I never even met her, so here I am speculating about her from hearsay, but the struggles that...
  13. PreciousChild

    A codependent thread, anyone?

    There was a codependent thread maybe a couple of years ago. I wanted to see if anyone was interested in posting about issues relating to this. A little background: I was married to a gambling addict, and divorced like 14 years ago. I only learned about and embraced the label of codependency...
  14. PreciousChild

    Nameless dread

    I got some bad news recently and it has sent my ptsd into overdrive. I've been trying to meditate and am re-reading Heller's Healing Developmental Trauma. I was reading the section on how trauma is freezed and stored in the body. I swear that in one episode of feeling fearful and catastrophizing...
  15. PreciousChild

    Why do I feel weird about my ex moving on?

    I just found out that my ex bf moved in with another woman. We broke up just about a year ago, and he moved out at the end of August last year. I don't know why, but I just googled him and saw the instagram photos. I myself have had a bf for about 7 months and I'm quite happy in the...
  16. PreciousChild

    Taking the fall for every weird reaction

    I think this is a sign of progress. I felt that I had some weird interactions today, and feel this sense of paranoia like people are seeing something in me that is making them react weird to me. My mind is tempted to list all of the bad things about me that they're seeing. But lately, I've been...
  17. PreciousChild

    It always comes back to the fact that I'm unloveable

    This topic is a big one for me and I think for most of us. I can't shake the feeling that I am not worthy, good enough and that people will reject me at any given moment. If I don't hear from my boyfriend right away, my immediate reaction is to think that I am not important enough to communicate...
  18. PreciousChild

    I expect him not to get angry. Is that fair?

    I have not been on the forum for a while. Sometimes I find that I meander away for a while - it might even be avoidant behavior. There's a topic I'm struggling with - anger. I have certain ideas about it that I think sometimes go against what people on here believe, but I'm not sure if I have a...
  19. PreciousChild

    Relationship Not fair!

    I feel like I've posted on this more than once, but I still need to make sense of it. To what extent can we expect fairness from a partner with ptsd? I've been seeing someone for 3.5 months, feeling very vulnerable because I'm starting to have feelings for him, and it brings up complicated...
  20. PreciousChild

    Falling in love is triggering

    I met someone and we've been dating for about 3 months. Strangely, I'm realizing that developing feelings for him has triggered me. In general, I find online dating fraught. You're constantly wondering how you're measuring up, and rejection lurks around every corner. There are so many ways...
  21. PreciousChild

    I am not the (sole) cause of your bad feelings, so don't treat me that way

    I'm not really looking for advice, but rather for some sympatico. I was at my therapist's today, and I was surprised that I was still in tears about my ex boyfriend who broke up with me in June, and who moved out at the end of August. My son and I grieved, in some ways I moved on, I often feel...
  22. PreciousChild

    Should I let my ex husband yell at me to keep the peace?

    I was counting how many years I've been divorced from my ex, and I can't believe it's been since 2006. And all that time, I've been going back and forth between helping him maintain a certain amount of sanity as he gambled everything away including tens of thousands of dollars in arrears and...
  23. PreciousChild

    But what if my bad behavior is real and not a distortion?

    I think the winter has affected me. I've been okay, not great. I'm feeling particularly paranoid today. I'm trying to be more involved with the pta in my son's school. But I am perceiving parents shunning me or acting weird around me and I think it's because in the past, I have to admit that...
  24. PreciousChild

    Is this being a regular nice person or is it dysfunctional?

    I think 80% of my posts could fit under this thread. I would really like feedback about whether I am going way overboard, or if it's perfectly normal mundane niceness. I struggle with this because my parents used and exploited me so thoroughly that I'm always doing too much or running the other...
  25. PreciousChild

    Am I being rash to break off a potential relationship before it gets started?

    I've went out about 4 times with a man. We both are interested in each other and he expressed maybe taking it to the next level. He seems nice, but I have only one concern that I'd like feedback about. His father wasn't around at all in his childhood. When you ask him about it, he says that he...
Top