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  1. K

    Intensely Triggered while out w friends

    I went out w friends and it was loud and there was so much going on and it happened again. I heard him. I saw him. I felt like I was being choked. I yelled no one helped me. No one. No one why didn’t they help me. The voice won’t go away, I hear him calling. I feel his fingers on my clothes...
  2. K

    Court

    I have to start my court proceedings of one of my lawsuits for my injury including listing people to testify, documents, and remembering everything from my injury 2 years ago. It’s causing me a lot of anxiety having to think about all this again. Mainly because I feel no one will believe me...
  3. K

    Therapy/Hospital Question

    Let me shed some light on the background of the story first: I posted like a month or so ago that I lost my damn mind and had my first major dissociative/psychotic episode from a trigger. That lead to me being super scared it happening again and making a safety plan w my therapist and psych. It...
  4. K

    Stuck in nightmares

    Has anyone else felt like they’re still stuck in their nightmares even after waking up? I don’t know how to explain it better than that. I don’t feel like I’m ever fully awake now and can vividly remember the nightmares and night terrors and I can’t shake them off.
  5. K

    Think I legit lost my mind for a few days

    I’m not sure where to post this and I’m still trying to come to terms w it. Last Friday I was at a store and I saw someone I used to work with. I didn’t interact with them and I don’t think they saw me however I apparently had some sort of triggered psychotic break where I was hell bent on...
  6. K

    Car accident

    I was in a car accident in the beginning of August on my way to therapy actually. I was going through an intersection straight and someone turned into my car. It was chaotic, I tried to stop but couldn’t. It was an older lady and a child and their airbags went off and pinned my door. The middle...
  7. K

    How is everyone today?

    How has everyone’s day went? What are you up to this week?
  8. K

    Another surgery

    I don’t know where to put this. I did post sorta in my diary. I’m having another surgery tomorrow as a result of my injury from when I was attacked and a car accident earlier this month. They’re cutting off part of my bicep by the shoulder and screwing it back into the bone lower down. And...
  9. K

    Why am i like this?

    Had to get refills on almost all my meds and the new one of Ativan and it’s hard to not think about suicide and taking everything. Over 1000 pills. Struggling w medical issues, had another setback today w an appt. I see the pills and a voice from no where after doing ok just yells “end it” and I...
  10. K

    Healthy comfort food recipes?

    What are some healthy comfort foods people like?
  11. K

    Entire support system out of town this week

    My brother, friend and therapist who are my core support system are all out of town this week. So it’s been interesting. I feel ok but I also feel myself closing off from them which I have a habit of doing and I hate. I have 2 semi stressful doctor appts this week bc I’ve had undiagnosed side...
  12. K

    Nightmares and sleep fighting?

    I’ve been having bad nightmares for the past week and a half. They’ve escalated from things just mildly uncomfortable to people killing me. Like the other night my therapist came up behind me and stabbed me in the chest and whispered “is this what you wanted?”. Needless to say I was confused...
  13. K

    Suicidal feelings came back w a vengeance

    I had surgery on my arm last Thursday in 3 places and I was anxious before surgery, this is still from the work comp injury over a year and a half ago now. I know anesthesia has messed w me a bit before but all week I’ve felt super hopeless and depressed. I’m supposed to be resting and...
  14. K

    Birthday

    Today is my birthday and I actually allowed myself to have a good day. Which I usually hate my birthday and there’s a lot of negative thoughts and memories tied to it. So maybe a small step in the right direction. Hope everyone has a good day today.
  15. K

    Update on work injury

    So I’m sure I’m posting this in the wrong category again but here it goes... I followed up w an orthopedic doctor today at the request of my neurosurgeon bc I’m still having symptoms from my work injury. And they gave me a cortisone shot in the shoulder (cortisone shots hurt don’t let anyone...
  16. K

    Checking in

    I am not sure where else to post this ( as I don’t w some of my other threads lol) but I just sorta wanted to check in. I know I haven’t been really active the past few weeks. I’ve kinda isolated myself and have been distracting myself w mind numbing tasks or games. I still have some medical...
  17. K

    Death Tough day ahead

    today is the day of my aunt’s funeral. I hope she can be laid to rest with minimal family drama and problems. Will update later.
  18. K

    Not sure where to post this, really bad week

    I am not sure where I should post this. I’m having a really tough week. I know I had posted earlier about boundaries and stuff but my life decided to be even more fun and throw me a few more curveballs. My medical stuff is still up in the air, I now have to wait a month to see an orthopedic...
  19. K

    Thank you

    I just wanted to say thank you to everyone this week for the extra support, honest feedback and concern. It’s been a hell of a week and I just really appreciate having someplace to go and talk w people about what’s going on in the mess that is my head.
  20. K

    Boundaries

    I haven’t posted in awhile, I’ve been isolating bc I’m super overwhelmed w all this medical stuff and the possibility of more surgery. Anyways, I had a therapy session tonight and it was weird. We got in this weird argument/deadlock about boundaries. I hate talking about boundaries bc it’s...
  21. K

    Frustrated

    I’m not really sure where else to post this so I apologize if it’s in the wrong spot. About 6 months ago I had a disc replaced in my cervical spine bc of the attack I sustained at work from one of the people I worked w. I was in PT for over 3 months and was improving and now all of a sudden...
  22. K

    I’m fine, i’m fine, i’m not fine

    i have switched meds for depression, started seeing a new psychiatrist who swears they can help. *cracks knuckles* okay lady bring it. She’s nice, she switched my meds, this will be try number 20 something of med combos. I was on Cymbalta for awhile for anxiety, depression and pain and while I...
  23. K

    Comfort

    What do you do for comfort when you can’t tolerate physical touch from anyone?
  24. K

    Anxiety, hyper vigilance, fear, oh my

    I had thought I’d been doing ok the last week or so...well ok for me. Last year around this time I was in the psych unit for attempted suicide after I was attacked at work and work just kept making things worse. I didn’t think much of the time of year or of my psych visit anniversary. I’m still...
  25. K

    Last movie or tv series you watched?

    I will start. Movie: Hidden Figures. Highly recommend. Tv series: Bates Motel: I am strangely intrigued by it. Perhaps it makes me feel better about my life lol.
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