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    Accepting what you cant have right now

    Really like someone in work so much you cant choose who you like. was sensible and did not try and make a move but also found out yesterday there seeing someone so that kind of made It final..couldent believe how much greif and misery I felt because to be honest even if they was not I know I am...
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    Dealing with people trying to draw you in to conflicts

    hello hoping for some tips as nothing in my life has really prepared me very well for dealing with the wider world. I am feeling very angry with a colleague who keeps on trying to get me drawn in to issues with another colleague I get along with . I am not blind of course this person is not...
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    just saying - "I push you away to protect you from ME"

    its so hard as I can not tell you as you cant or wont understand but I push you away to protect you from ME
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    books about CPTSD

    Hello can anyone recommend any good books about CPTSD. bear in mind I have read the called suriving to thriving by pete walker. Was good , was presenting a twelve step approach which with all due respect is not the model I am following. Would prefer to read something which is not professing a...
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    Neice taken in to care

    just checking in as sometimes this place is the only place I have some outlet to express my upset at the ongoing situations I have no control over. in the past I would judge my self for being upset over other peoples predicaments saying to my self well its not happening to you its happening to...
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    When the truth might hurt to much

    What would you do if telling someone the truth of how you really feel about something that is important to them which you know may hurt them on a deep level but not telling them means you can not go on with the relationship .
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    work christmas party

    I have decided I want to duck out of the work Christmas meal . I thought the time was right to give it a try as I know I cant spend my whole life avoiding socialising but I have to many alarm bills ringing around the whole alcohol issue as were I work is very much a drinking culture...people...
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    I am an ex sex worker - facing up to something I've been running away from

    Finally facing up to a time in my life i have been running away from. When I was a teenager new to london I was involved in the sex industry for a year or so selling sex . pornography . Not a long time in my life but a very dark one and with certain emotional consequences. I would be happy to...
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    shrinking the amygdala

    I learned sometime ago that if you was a child who was brought up in trauma as an adult you may have an enlarged amygdala hence the constant hypervigilance. I have became aware recently that I am developing an aversion to any books/ tv / movies of a dark and heavy matter. been replacing it with...
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    sweet surrender - finding ways to exercise that work for me

    finally listening to what my body wants and needs. I am forever trying to learn how to inhabit my body it can be a very dysfunctional relationship my head often wants to walk out on it. at one point I had decided that I must knock my self in to my body kicking and screaming. I started going to...
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    going to places where you were traumatised

    Has anyone found any value in going to places were they was traumatised to experience memorys/ emotions e.t.c... I have been giving it a go have been getting some insights....still not sure if its just upesetting my self though.
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    Figuring out where to stand - making a complaint against a supervisor with PTSD

    When your progressing in trauma recovery one of the hardest things to witness is someone else who is further down the line and the inner conflict it creates ..the horror with there behaviour and how its affecting the group morale and the compassion for knowing what it is as I myself was in that...
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    the shame monster

    I seem to be heading for a journey in to the shame issue and I am discovering recently that shame is often at the core of my acting out ..the anger sadness addictions E.T.C. I am finding it difficult to take part in life because of feeling somehow fundamentally shameful ..its like i walk around...
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    Never assume, letting go of assumptions

    Its been a real rocky section of the road this week a hard learning curve. I made friends with a colleague in work based on an assumption but in the end it turned out was quite an immature person who tried to lie to me when we had a conflict this week and was trying to get in to my pants even...
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    Detach , detach , detach

    Ok so working with a colleague today I have decided to detach from..well I have many times and I have gone back for more nonsense. Someone with lots of issues and problems going on but done not appear to be taking any positive action and me being an empath..more than my own good sometimes been...
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    Trauma work - core false selfs

    Did some great trauma work last week. I went on holiday to my home town and systematically over a few days in chronological order visited all the places of my early life up until my late teens. really helped me paint a picture of my early life development and at which point exactly I was...
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    That dream again

    Had that dream again ...that mother was alive even though I thought she was dead..this time I asked her a question ..I asked her ...if you have been murdered why are you still here.
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    Should i stay or should i go

    recently been lamenting a lot on the state of my relationships. It seems like they have always been built upon drug use, a shared sense of victimisation, trauma bonding, a perverse need to exploit and be exploited. let go of many of them but still hang on to some mostly out of loneleyness and...
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    Changing habits

    just checking in. doing well but my nerves are on fire. I have identified a cluster of habits I use to dissociate from emotions and bodily sensations, which are ...checking my e mails countless times a day and looking at useless information on the internet for ages. checking my reflection in the...
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    Lets do it all over again

    feeling a bit sad and reflective . been pursuing a relationship with a prolific pot user...even though I don't use any more and my sister is also a prolific pot user and In my experience its difficult to have a meaningful relationship with such people...been feeling a bit negative about it all...
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    Enough is enough - using the internet to avoid real life connections

    I have finally realised as a way of avoiding trying to connect with people in real life I use the internet to connect with people. its turning out to be a losing game for me as I often get disappointed it so easy to create fantasys online about people but the reality is often different. I...
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    Confused. com - treatment for cptsd or bpd?

    So confused know I need big help now but when I read about my problems it seems like complex ptsd looks the same as borderline personality disorder. So I am like what is it then do I have one or both is the treatment the same or different. What if I seek treatment for one and I have the other
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    Feeling low

    I feel like right. Now the only thing stopping me from destroying my self is how it will affect some other people.
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    BPD Facing borderline personality disorder

    Hey guys strongly beginning to realise how most of my life to varying degrees I have actually had what seems to be bdp. Knowing this makes sense of so many years. The self harm. The drama the volatile relationships. Also scary to the way it's portrayed in the. Movies think fatal attraction and...
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    God were is all this anger supposed to go

    As I am becoming more embodied I am aware of all this trapped anger in my system..even if I do things like yoga and relaxation excercies they can only have a tempory relief as all the anger is kind of frozen in my its a very somatic thing talking seems pointless.