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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    Has anyone ever panicked because brain screams/urges to do certain things to end all the pain suffering crap and darkness of life? Along with desperately trying to get help and having it not help or even make things worse? Constant thoughts that break you down to point where panic and you start...
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    Lost not much help. Hang on mind not good

    Ive tried so hard to get proper support and it just doesnt seem to exist. Things are getting worse and i dont have reasons to keep being here. With covid help is even more impossible and no way will i chance getting 5150d or go to hospital its not an option. I heard from a nurse "friend" a...
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Im spiraling so far down. tried to get into respite center after jumping through hoops got dr to fill out form waited 3 weeks to have her tell me place isnt accepting referrals, dr tried another place same story. i dont even really know how to explain in detail what is going on but im not even...
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    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    How do i tell dr whats fully going on and are very close to just not being here anymore...? Im ..... I dont really have the words :/
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    Even professionals struggle to help

    Reached a threshold. Hiw can one have hope when eve professionals struggle to help? So over this shit.
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    Drowning in abyss of nothing spiraling

    Its like nothing exists anymore i try each day(which I know you all know what that means) the constant fight body cant take anymore it makes me physically ill( body pains, stomach issues, headaches etc) the self harm has gone down hill today but want to keep doing it :/. I know its so wrong to...
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    Its like not here

    All can say is losing it don't know what to trust nothing seems real. Scared. I'm here but not. Puts me in destruct mode. SH. Don't sleep properly function
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    Dont trust drs or people in general

    Hi all So don't trust in this case Drs. But body is screaming something is wrong. Im trying to care enough to get self to get help and not just try to suck it up/ deal but getting help doesn't seem to be happening despite how horrible i physically feel etc
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    Therapist makes me more suicidal

    Therapist suggested DBT yet she doesn't know it....is that professional? Also I know things could be worse.....and that I'm lucky I don't have dementia etc but is it normal for therapist to compare to other clients? She also gets frustrated because I don't communicate well in person...so...
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    What people dont really talk about...

    the fact that trauma happens when one may not comprehend fully doesnt mean there arent memories that arent understood later.....i ask my therapist what happens if stop drinking etc and cant deal even more response was " good question" when you feel like you dont belong and then are pretty much...
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    Autopilot suic

    My apartments never been so clean organized have things labeled etc. I don't have the will power anymore to keep fighting, it's relentless. Ideal hard work pays off...reality you work your ass off and can't even keep head above water. Haven't been a person/human in awhile. It's like I've...
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    desperately want to survive but drowning regardless

    I dont want to give up, i dont want to feel like that the only right thing is death... i want to survive but dont have the will power. Im beyond exhausted, and its not like the world/ things can stop. ive become more mute and isolated as time goes on because of the exhaustion and the...
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    you do EVERYTHING your supposed to but still cant hold on

    one hold and hold on to keep holding on and fighting through what really cant be fought. trying to survive just to keep fighting to barely survive. I do therapy i do meds see psych etc etc etc... But its like as much as you want to keep fighting, in real life there is no fight left and...
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    Irony took cops showing up again and...

    So im learning things def arent okay been chatting with local crisis line again they sent out PD again with mobile crisis (whom want to do another assessment that i already pretty much did, as jsut an update) my actions say i dont have time. im 27 and now have will because of suicide crap...
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    decided to be honest with Crisis line PD showed up at door

    long story short things have been torture decided to be honest with crisis line police and mobile crisis team showed up at my house it scared me/terrified me i panicked and wasnt 100% honest but wish i was :/ i made things seem like they were ok, when they arent, but it was 3 officers and 2...
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    kind of on autopilot when it comes to suicide actions planning etc

    so talking doesnt seem to help, my brain just goes down this path of suicide to point where actions of gathering things planning has kind of been autopilot. ive been hospitalized before multiple times on meds psych etc, and nothings seems to help, make a difference, its to point that its like...
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    Detrimental behavior

    Any tips from anyone when it comes to just wanting to Harm self in ways like cut drink too much pills etc...... im just at a point where thing are too much i try to push myself but it makes it worse. ive been so broken for so long i dont think there is coming back from it.....
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    Too far gone/ too damaged

    is it possible to be too damaged/ too far gone for help? is there such thing as too much trauma? what does one do when it seems like nothing helps? anxiety disorder major depressive disorder etc arent curable they are treatable but i dont want to fight them my whole life... ive already been...
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    Suicide and auto pilot

    Has anyone else hit the time where the suicde, the plan and actions prepping become like auto pilot. You cant seem to stop? you keep packing keep organizing keep cleaning because you wouldnt want to leave a mess for somebody.... My house has never been so clean but its only because of S plan...
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    Going back to hospital

    if ones brain thinks i should probably go back to hospital.....does that mean i should go? the first time i wasnt very honest but its hard to be honest when you dont want to be trapped somewhere. i catched with crisis line today they ended up sending PD who called mobile crisis, i made things...
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    Lost therapist feel so done suicide is right

    I dont know what to do anymore. I was barely holding on before and now i have lost my therapist out of the blue. All i can think about it suicide and that its the right thing to do. its the only thing that will end the darkness and constant pain. I always feel like jumping out of my own...
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    Too exhausted to keep fighting

    What is one to do when they are just too exhausted from all the fighting and trying to survive that one an no longer fight? Have the strength, the only thing one can do is give into the one thing that can make everything end and be ok.
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