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  1. A

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Water
  2. A

    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    I always make lists. Its like you do everything you should yet..... Holidays havent existed since like middle school I cant so much respond to what you say very drained but am trying to understand
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    Will always miss mom. Never really got chance to be with her. And offering i guess. I go between ideation and further. Helpline the people are so sweet and try. so hard. Not sure its helpful enough :/. Your words are very sweet.
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    Each day is a new day but feels like torture/hell. Whos to say earth is only place and human is only form. Maybe some belong here and some dont. My biological mom didnt seem to belong here she killed her
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    God i wish it was that easy/simple
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    To not be here. Im already a ghost and have been a good part of my life. I dont belong in this world and never have. There are other places in universe to be something else that we as humans cant understand. Hiw about you?
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    Has anyone ever panicked because brain screams/urges to do certain things to end all the pain suffering crap and darkness of life? Along with desperately trying to get help and having it not help or even make things worse? Constant thoughts that break you down to point where panic and you start...
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    Lost not much help. Hang on mind not good

    thank you for saying all this. I wish i could say more but so drained and turning whats in brain into sentences is stupidly challenging. Its hard when really nothing else.
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    Lost not much help. Hang on mind not good

    Ive tried so hard to get proper support and it just doesnt seem to exist. Things are getting worse and i dont have reasons to keep being here. With covid help is even more impossible and no way will i chance getting 5150d or go to hospital its not an option. I heard from a nurse "friend" a...
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    programs was trying to get into was 2 week voluntary, more peer crisis place where you stay there and yes length and location matter. Last time i checked local PHP place wasnt taking people.
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Yes. Not sure where those places are but yes US. Not accepting referrals, other place is full. Not sure why not accepting. But yes COVID has made things even more impossible. She said another place was accepting referrals that was almost a week ago and havent heard anything but huge issue...
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Ive done it twice and yes in very short term at least got some sort of breather but other issues came up. First place i didnt eat whole time was there not a quiet place sleep sucked. Nurse put me in room that locked from outside so i was safe from others ironically state facility really bad...
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Unfortunately here even if go in voluntary as i did last time they can still 5150
  14. A

    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Tried that once still dr 5150d
  15. A

    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    I cant be 5150d again and thats what they will do. Ive been trying to hold on only for it to be like a mean joke. Holding on is all i do leaves no room to live or do anything else. I cant keep living this way and help doesnt seem to really exist, although ive tried to get and so have others
  16. A

    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Im spiraling so far down. tried to get into respite center after jumping through hoops got dr to fill out form waited 3 weeks to have her tell me place isnt accepting referrals, dr tried another place same story. i dont even really know how to explain in detail what is going on but im not even...
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    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Actually ate today toast with mushroom and onion. Along with vegan tomato soup. Drank mostly alcohol with juice or tea
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    Trying to catch myself

    Wow what an exhausting battle. Im in similar construction next door either move be driven insane or just stop fighting. You must be in CA smoke here is atrocious. I wish you luck!
  19. A

    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    Thank Thank you i use local text line but i think i have hit a wall with them very supportive yet... ?
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    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    Sorry you understand it sucks. I rather just kind of vanish
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    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    Hard to trust systems that have failed you ie ED, drs thank you for sharing
  22. A

    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    No T just primary dr
  23. A

    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    Physical health issues, lack of sleep, constant thoughts, constant fight trying to actually get help to have it only make shit worse, i dont know so much.. I know things could be worse but i dont function anymore
  24. A

    How do i tell doctor about SUI

    No i keep to self have for years
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