Search results

  1. D

    Coming to grips with multiple traumas as a child

    Actually that is sort of what I fear because I have been blaming myself my whole life, not sure I am a good judge of my own guilt. Obviously not but I made sure both my children did go to college and understood from when they were young children you go to elementary school, then middle school...
  2. D

    Coming to grips with multiple traumas as a child

    After 6 months of weekly therapy with a really insightful therapist I am trying to come to grips with what I have learned were multiple traumas in my youth. For over 45 years I never told a sole but new inside that I was damaged by abuse of a pedophile from 10-12. I have lived with the self...
  3. D

    Trying to come to grips with my parents and my childhood traumas

    Coming to the realization that your parents whom you loved and cherished where in fact, not perfect is a gut punch.
  4. D

    Trying to come to grips with my parents and my childhood traumas

    Let me start off by saying that I loved both my parents deeply and they loved me as well. This is what is making this process so complicated. With guidance and help from my T I am beginning to understand my childhood was more complicated. My parents had their issues and got divorced when I was...
  5. D

    Intensive EMDR

    I have read that EMDR can be very effective. My initial T 5 years ago who had been practicing EMDR for 30 years tried 4 times with me, could not even scratch the surface of the steel wall surrounding my Traumas
  6. D

    I almost Died Two Nights Ago

    Quick follow up. Went to the Dr who confirmed a Laryngospasm. The good news is he said it might never come back but if it does he taught me how to counter it. What caused this, all part of a neuropathy issue I have that actually my be tied to my PTSD. The journey continues
  7. D

    I almost Died Two Nights Ago

    I have spoken with my T through email and after my medical appt on Tuesday, based on outcome it may be kicked over to my T One good piece of news I am getting my first vaccine shot next week :-)
  8. D

    I almost Died Two Nights Ago

    I had the strangest thing happen two nights ago, I woke out of a sound sleep and could not breath, literally no inhale and no exhale other than a minor trickle. This went on for 2-3 minutes, my wife was freaking out and trying to clear my throat but there was no obstruction. Slowly over about...
  9. D

    Learning to see my CSA through my 10yo eyes

    I have now had about 20 weekly sessions with my T. Making progress but still stuck a little on a few things, ok more than a few. My T tells me all the time that I am viewing and judging my actions at that age through my current adult eyes as opposed to me 10yo self. I blame myself for never...
  10. D

    My wife joined me in a session with my T

    I totally understand but there is no one other than my T in this world that I would share this with other than my wife whom I love and trust 150%
  11. D

    My wife joined me in a session with my T

    Yes, 3 steps forward, 2 back
  12. D

    My wife joined me in a session with my T

    Yesterday I had my wife join in for my session. I have told my wife only the very basic info about my CSA and having her in the session allowed my T to help me fill in the grey spots. I think this was a very good session as she was able to tell my wife more than I can both clinically and...
  13. D

    3 Months of Weekly Therapy has dragged me out of the pit

    Thank you, it is a journey with no clear end. I have invited my wife to join my next session tomorrow. I want my T to help explain my traumas, I am not able to do that yet myself
  14. D

    3 Months of Weekly Therapy has dragged me out of the pit

    Discouraging in that you don't like your T or just don't like the additional traumas being raised? If it is the former, change and find someone you like if the latter, stay with it
  15. D

    3 Months of Weekly Therapy has dragged me out of the pit

    There is no doubt that therapy has saved me even if it has uncovered additional troubling traumas. I have been lifted out of the depths of debilitating depression and able to function but now I am learning how do deal with additional traumas that I had not considered before. Now my therapy is...
  16. D

    Does the therapist attempt to get their client to say things they already know the answer to?

    This happens constantly with my T. She often shares insights that are spot on but are not related to what I have told her. What I finally figured out is that because she has been trained and worked in the filed of CSA for many years she has insight that I don't. She is able to take disperate...
  17. D

    Therapy is helping but also opening doors I was not prepared for

    Thank you for the support. I would not say I am angry more disappointed and confused
  18. D

    Therapy is helping but also opening doors I was not prepared for

    That is what caught me by surprise with my T. I would give anything to see both my parents today, I miss them and loved them so much. My Father who passed about 35 years ago was my best friend and we lived together for a number of years before I got married. My mother who passed 15 years ago...
  19. D

    Therapy is helping but also opening doors I was not prepared for

    I have now been in weekly Therapy sessions for about 12 weeks. I am lucky in that I found an amazing therapist who specializes in CSA and I can absolutely say she has picked me up off the floor and allowed me to function. I am still dealing with some of the old demons like blaming myself for my...
  20. D

    Sufferer I wasn't beaten so I don't deserve to use a diagnosis as an excuse

    NotTooLate: I totally understand where you are at the moment but with help and support it will be better. I started weekly appts with a T about 10 weeks ago and have jsut started to arrive at the point that I am ready to stop blaming myself for my CSA at 10. It may seem impossible but you can...
  21. D

    Does anyone else not recognize themselves in photos?

    My issue is the opposite, the person I see in the photos seems happy, healthy and normal but that is not how I see myself, when I look in the eyes of the person in the photo, it is not me
  22. D

    Does anyone else not recognize themselves in photos?

    I certainly understand that looking at images of when I was a kid might seem foreign but I am 61yo and I am having this issue on images from 5-10 years ago?
  23. D

    Does anyone else not recognize themselves in photos?

    My T felt it would be good for me to go through photos to see if that helps my memories. I have literally about 10,000 photos from our travels and other events over the last 20 years. I have told my T that I have a hard time looking at them because even though the photos's are of happy times...
  24. D

    Can I Ask My T "What is Wrong with Me?

    Well, I asked. Like mentioned above I expected a very long winding response ending in what do you think is wrong? She surprised me and gave me a very detailed and direct answer, much appreciated. So basically her answer is I am suffering from PTSD and severe disassociation. The cause is what...
  25. D

    Can I Ask My T "What is Wrong with Me?

    I have my appt today and I am planning on asking my T, what is wrong with me or better yet what is your diagnosis. First, is this something you can ask a T? I am looking for suggestions or recommendations on how to do or phrase this?
Top