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  1. Digz

    DID Quote regarding DID and self harm

    My T shared a quote a me in relation to dissociative identity - "Unsafe behaviours are a profound outcry against isolation and the terrible, even catastrophic, experience of utter aloneness in their suffering". It is not the only reason for self harm and suicidal thoughts of course, but it was...
  2. Digz

    Other Endometriosis

    I have been suffering badly from endometriosis lately. 3 hospitalisations in 3 months from huge pelvic pain. I read a study recently that said women who were abused as children were something crazy like 75% more likely to have endometriosis. At the moment it is making my mental health so...
  3. Digz

    How far I've come...

    Today I'm not thinking about how many more things I have to overcome or how many more years of therapy and hard work I have still ahead of me. Today, I'm thinking about how far I've come already since I began therapy many years ago and it is a very good feeling. I began therapy about a decade...
  4. Digz

    Childhood Triggered at work

    Yesterday I had the best therapy breakthrough and was riding on a high. This morning I went to work and was slapped across the face by a student and now I am triggered BIG time. I feel so stressed and shaky tonight and wish I could get back the happy feeling from yesterday. 😞
  5. Digz

    A challenging session - Writing a compassionate letter to myself.

    I just had the hardest session with my T yesterday. We started looking at a long-held automatic thought of mine that causes a lot of fear and pain - that people hate me. He asked me about what is underneath that thought, as in what is it about me that makes me feel that way? It was only then...
  6. Digz

    DID Drawing my different identities...

    Each time I am introduced to a new identity and get to know enough about them, I like to draw them. Does anybody else draw or collage or do anything else to show what their identities are like, or to explore the different parts?
  7. Digz

    Dissociating physical pain away

    Does anybody else dissociate physical pain away? If I experience pain, it can be pain of any kind but especially more intense pain, my brain tends to dissociate it either away completely or dissociate enough of it that it's significantly downgraded. This has its positives, I guess, but can be...
  8. Digz

    Living in a small place, seeing a T

    Just wondering if anybody else lives in a particularly small area and sees a T in that area. I live in a pretty small place and it is tricky and funny sometimes because of the interconnectedness that I sometimes find with my T and I. Back a decade ago I really struggled with it as I had a lot...
  9. Digz


    Copyright @Digz
  10. Digz

    T away, hanging in there

    Almost 3 weeks into my T being away on leave. Struggling big time tonight, but trying so hard to hang in there. All the memories looming, making it hard.
  11. Digz

    Suicidal Thoughts Poem

    Just Breathe Inhale Exhale Kill yourself Ignore. Inhale Exhale You’re disgusting Ignore. Inhale Kill yourself Exhale You’re disgusting Ignore Fat Dumb You want to die Inhale Sadness caught Tears frozen Kill yourself Kill yourself Cut your wrists Kill yourself Exhale Remember love Remember...
  12. Digz

    Therapist Away - Abandonment Schemas

    Eh, my therapist is away for a month now. I'm just into the first day and struggling. My abandonment schema is going crazy, working overtime. It can be so frustrating when logically you know there's no reason to be upset by something, but your brain thinks very differently about it. I'm on...
  13. Digz

    DID DID Poem - My journey thus far

    Shadow Me Shadow me. Your words, My mouth. Your thoughts, My head. Debut? You – fierce fury Me – run, run, run. No escaping My mind. Finish fleeing, Incline inwards. She protecting Me. She born for Me. She Resentfully raging. World...
  14. Digz

    Inside my Mind

  15. Digz

    What are some of your favourite movies?

    I was just thinking about some of my all time favourite movies. I love Snatch and also Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. And for comedies, Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a classic fave but I can't think what my more modern fave comedy movie would be. Chick flick wise, I'm definitely a...
  16. Digz

    Therapy, slowing memories

    I've been dealing with a lot of new flashback and memories lately. My T and I are working on processing them but they have been coming so frequently and with so much power the last couple of weeks, it's impacting my ability to function as a teacher and a mother. We have decided to try and slow...
  17. Digz

    DID DID, New Identity Discovery, Advice

    I've known that I have DID for probably a decade now. I've dealt with 3 different identities other than myself. But I've had this anger that comes from the back of my mind that I didn't know really how it worked. Yesterday when dealing with a new horrible memory in which I was forced to kill...
  18. Digz

    Childhood Forced animal killing

    I just started having a new flashback where a knife was held to my throat and I was told to stab a cat and kill it or my throat would be slit. I am having so much trouble coming to terms with it because I feel so disgusting and evil stabbing a cat and watching it die. I feel so ashamed. :(
  19. Digz

    DID DID and Realisation

    Hi. Just wondering if anybody else with DID has been through the process of Realisation, or is going through the process or attempted it? I'm just beginning and I am finding it so hard. There is so much emotion with so much intensity.
  20. Digz

    Who struggles with Self-Acceptance?

    I have found self-acceptance very difficult for a long time. After coming back to therapy it has become a focus again. I am finding it very challenging and very anxiety-inducing but I think I am finally, for the first time in over a decade, making some little steps of progress. It is scary...
  21. Digz

    Therapy Break

    So, today is the last day of school term here and then it's two weeks winter holiday break. I'm taking a therapy break too. The last month and a half has been so intense in therapy and I must say I'm really looking forward to spending time with my family and travelling around my little home...
  22. Digz

    Everything's Good - Tricks of the dissociative brain

    I've been processing a new memory this weekend and it's been pretty hard going. Had a bit of a meltdown and a couple of hours later I'm thinking to myself, 'Hey, I feel fine now. Nothing wrong at all. I'm completely over it.' Then I eat 5 oreos and get out a knife to cut my arm and realise...
  23. Digz

    What helps you sleep?

    Just wondering what people have found works to help them sleep when going through a triggered time? My sleep is better than it was a couple of weeks ago. At the moment I'm usually going to sleep okay now, but waking most mornings by 4:00-4:30am. I mean, I'm getting heaps of work done in a...
  24. Digz

    Relationship with your T worry

    Does anybody else ever worry about their relationship with their T? It's a fine line between trusting them, respecting them and being too attached. Last time I was in therapy with my T I'm seeing again now, going back probably twelve or so years ago, I think I was too attached. It was at the...
  25. Digz

    My T's Words - It's amazing how sometimes you just don't know what you need exactly until someone says it.

    So, I'm back in therapy after many years of managing by myself because of some horrific new flashbacks and my T responded in an email to some journalling I sent him the other day with these words, ", you deserve all the love you receive, and more, you have suffered a lot in life and deserve...