Search results

  1. F

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I am feeling lonely. For the first time, I believe that I am lonely. Up until now, I never believed that I have been living a lonely life of a trauma victim; which in some ways is good because I have accepted my reality rather than denying it, like I did all these years.
  2. F

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Great to hear from another keto fan, and about your success story as well. The dietician recommended the amount of veggies which I just make a guess. I measured first few days, and then I make a guess of how much 7-10 cups might be when I place them in a bowl before extracting the juice. My carb...
  3. F

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    I've been on keto diet for little more than a month, and the dietician recommended 7-10 cups of veggies which is way too much to eat; so I make fresh veggie juice out of it. I had some onion rings (onions are not allowed on keto diet, and I cheated), fried salmon, and a cup of coffee. I also...
  4. F

    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    Ever since my father got into a business partnership with these 3 psychopaths/narcissists around the year 2010, I started to get suicidal thoughts. I was looking at different ways of committing suicide; and quite fortunately and by coincidence, I came across this book in 2010, The 50th Law by...
  5. F

    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    I noticed something in myself about 2 years back when I was travelling with my narcissistic father. We were camping in a huge tent with about 200 other people. There were hundreds other such tents and the entire camping site, which spread over few hundred acres, was highly secured. I was sick...
  6. F

    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    I wanted to share this on this forum but was really hesitant because I thought people would laugh at me and make fun of me. I typed this first on my computer on 25 December 2020, and didn’t post it until now. I built some courage and understanding, and finally decided to put it up on this forum...
  7. F

    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    I decided to make a single thread in which I will post my problems, experiences, solutions, happy moments of recovery (even if little), etc. so that I don't have to make a new thread every time I post something new.
  8. F

    Triggered By Criticism And Accusations And Seeing Conflict

    Thank you. I visited a therapist for few years; but she was causing me more suffering than actually helping. I feel really worried of going to another one because of my experience with the previous one; especially when I don't have a stable income, and therapists don't come cheap. I have been...
  9. F

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Veal feet stew with rice. Been eating since I was a kid.
  10. F

    What do you need emotionally right now, and why?

    Comfort from the anxiety I have been suffering all my life, and assurance that I will not be abused again, nor will I be accused of things I haven't done.
  11. F

    Abuser is dying

    The conflict between seeing my abusers suffer and the fact that they too suffered trauma in their childhood confuses me as well. Since I am still recovering from my traumatic past, I often swing between the two. I do wish to focus on my own life rather than telling them anything now, because...
  12. F

    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    It's 7 a.m. in my country, and I haven't slept at all last night. I just lay in the bed, watching videos, not feeling sleepy at all. I remember from 2013 onwards, finding it difficult to sleep at night, or staying asleep all night; i.e. either I stay up all night and sleep during the day, or I...
  13. F

    What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

    Right now, at this very moment, I just want to go away from this abusive and traumatic environment where I don't get the love, respect, care, and recognition I ought to have. I want to go somewhere no one knows me, so that I don't have to feel ashamed that people might figure out that I am a...
  14. F

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I am feeling angry and crazy at my father because he destroyed me financially. He destroyed my motivation and courage to do anything that could help me earn an income. I feel devastated, and due to financial constraints, I am unable to distance myself from my abusive family which could help me...
  15. F

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I feel ashamed that I haven't achieved anything worthwhile in my life that could make my parents happy and make them love me. I know they aren't capable of loving me regardless of what I do or what I achieve because they are not capable of loving not only me, but they can't even love their own...
  16. F

    Triggered By Criticism And Accusations And Seeing Conflict

    I imagine standing up for myself against a bully/an abuser, or sharing my opinion with someone, I immediately see another person accusing me back or criticizing my opinion. I do have a very critical father, and over the past 4 years have been accused back when I tried to stand for myself against...
  17. F

    What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

    I feel lost and unable to get any guidance, similar to what I felt most of my life; but specially in my childhood. Though, I see some hope of things getting better.
  18. F

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    As I am writing this post, I am having a latte. For lunch I had rice that is cooked together with minced meat and diced potatoes. It is really simple, but really delicious.
  19. F

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I am feeling crazy that nothing is working out. I feel sad that I have been betrayed even though I was being genuine, and meant no ill for my father. I feel crazy that I can’t control my anger. I feel annoyed because my father keeps interrupting in nearly everything I try to do. I feel...
  20. F

    Why do I only remember the bad things?

    I suffer something similar; I tend to focus on 1 negative event or incident and ignore all the other memories that were good and positive. I believe it came from me not getting validation from my parents, and rather receiving silent treatments and minimization. I have compiled a list on my...
  21. F

    Other Why does he hit his head?

    I have a nephew, about 10 months old. I was holding him in my arms and he started hitting his head on my face, and then was hitting his head with his hand. About a month back, my mother told me he was hitting his head on the wall. His mother was exposed to my narcissistic father when she was...
  22. F

    Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

    This is a really old post, but I am a new member and wanted to share because I too experience this. These are just my opinions and not psychologically proven. I have done maladaptive daydreaming all my life; my earliest memory is at least 25 years old when I would sit by myself or wander away...
  23. F

    Sufferer Victim of emotional neglect and emotional abuse by family, sexually assaulted, & witness to the physical abuse of my brothers.

    Hey! I just did some research about tight pelvic muscles. I do have other symptoms too besides frequent urination, and also have the causes. Thanks for sharing the info. You just saved me few hundred Euros which I would have to spend in public toilets. 😉
  24. F

    Sufferer Victim of emotional neglect and emotional abuse by family, sexually assaulted, & witness to the physical abuse of my brothers.

    Thanks for the encouraging words. Yes, healing is indeed a long process. I had been struggling with the healing process for more than a decade, and finally figured out about 2 months back the causes of my sufferings were mostly due to emotional neglect and emotional abuse. All these years, I...
  25. F

    Sufferer Victim of emotional neglect and emotional abuse by family, sexually assaulted, & witness to the physical abuse of my brothers.

    Thanks for the encouraging words. I had been working with a counselor, whom I found to be more damaging than benefiting. I recently found from Pete Walker's book Complex PTSD how and what to look for in a therapist. I hope to find a good therapist to benefit from.
Top