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  1. K

    Fear And Obstacles To Medication Treatment

    I think I'm looking for support/understanding and if anyone has any success stories or advice I would definitely take it. My PTSD symptoms are pretty well under control at the moment, but I'm experiencing severe situational depression. It's absolutely valid. I don't want to get into details...
  2. K

    Service dog handler lobby

    I'm not sure if this will be helpful or not, but in the currently active SD thread I've seen a lot of really useful tips and a lot of validation. I didn't see a thread like this, and I thought maybe those of us who have SDs could use a place to post with questions/tips/successes/access issues...
  3. K

    Why Can't I Just Say "yes"?

    I've been thinking a lot about family in the past couple weeks. I'm not sure if anyone will understand or will have responses. But I had to get all of this out of my head. My family of origin, while not physically abusive, is toxic at best. I rarely see or talk to my parents. I do speak with my...
  4. K

    Taking Longer To Decompress

    I was wondering if this is a common trend among sufferers. I was in a car wreck yesterday. I was a passenger and my friend was driving, and her husband and four year old were also in the car. No one was seriously injured, but we hydroplaned and spun out and hit the barrier several times. I took...
  5. K

    Is self harm ever the lesser evil?

    It's been over a year since I last self harmed. I stopped mostly because of the stigma/other people's opinions, but partially because at the time I recognized I was escalating in severity and needed to find other outlets. Benefit began to outweigh risk. Currently, I am socially isolated...
  6. K

    A Reflection For Christmas

    I've been struggling a lot symptomatically. The holidays are really difficult for me, but I also have been dealing with a lot of intrusive memories and processing from my primary trauma. There was another girl involved, and while I talk fairly freely about most of what happened I can almost...
  7. K

    Things Getting Measurably Better = Anxiety Spike?

    So, I'm looking for anybody who has advice on how to manage anxiety spikes due to improvement. In my case, I have several things that are happening (job and friendship wise as well as with the ongoing service dog journey) that will make things better for me. But even good change is still...
  8. K

    Nonverbal Episodes

    So I have been having this some, but last night it became very problematic and I thought I'd see if anyone had any advice. When I'm super stressed or overwhelmed, particularly after too much time around people or especially after conflict I will shut down. It's basically dissociation, I can...
  9. K

    Not Altogether Here

    I don't know that I really need advice, just support and to be able to say how much I'm struggling right now. I just finished a move- move in was the 1st. I'm living alone (except for my friend who has basically been babysitting me like a watch dog) for the first time since I was 18, when I...
  10. K

    Set A Boundary And It Went Well

    So I'm a people pleaser, and I always take on too much or do things based on what other people want and not what is best for me. I'm currently really stressed partially due to trauma anniversaries and partially due to a move. A friend who I would very much like to be close to asked me if I would...
  11. K

    Do You Sometimes Feel The Difference Between The Disorder And Your Normal Functioning?

    Not sure exactly how to explain this, but I'm in the middle of the worst couple months for me as far as trauma anniversaries go, and am moving. I feel like the way I'm processing is very much based in the disorder and a symptom spike. The work I've been doing, my coping methods, my intellectual...
  12. K

    Self Harm Progress

    I just wanted to share- I have struggled significantly with self harm at various points for the past 10 years. I'm in a position where I can't really say I've stopped entirely- the urge is still there often and my current living situation is so unstable that it's really quite possible (not...
  13. K

    Building A Social Circle

    I was thinking recently about the conversations my dad and I had before my grandfather's memorial a few years ago. I live across the country now, and I was planning to go back for it. And he responded with something well intentioned along the lines of "no one expects you to come if it's...
  14. K

    Personal Accountability And Self Care

    I'm just wondering what some other people's opinions on this might be: I find that personal accountability is big for me, in my own life and for those around me. I've had so many people who would never do a thing they promised whether it was a big deal or something inconsequential. So it's...
  15. K

    Waiting For The Bottom To Fall Out

    I'm not sure where I'm at right now, just want a space to type some things out, also wondering if others can relate to any of this. I'm currently in the process of going through handler training with a service dog organization. I matched with a dog a little over a month ago, and I went to my...
  16. K

    Frustrated with myself for getting into a spiral

    I was talking with my best friend (who I'm currently staying with) today, I was upset because I can't go to an annual event this year due to a conflict. Normally I teach there, and it's one of my only really safe spaces. I've taken on more leadership and teaching roles over the past 3 of 5 years...
  17. K

    I Stood Up For Myself Today

    So a little background: I've mentioned a couple times I'm being placed with a service dog. I'm getting ready to go to a training orientation this weekend. Without giving too much information that could identify me or the organization, I was in a situation where I felt I was being isolated. The...
  18. K

    Song Suggestions For Running

    So I was looking at some of the music threads for PTSD related songs, and I was so impressed with all the suggestions, I thought maybe some of you could help me with my latest playlist mission: revamping my playlist as I get myself motivated for spring, which will mean a return to my running...
  19. K

    Service dog journey

    So I've seen a lot of posts recently regarding service dogs. I'm currently working with an organization for placement, and expect that this will be a 4-12 month process from where I'm at. I just wanted to have a space to update the few people I know may be interested and to make myself give...
  20. K

    Weighted Blanket

    I just finished a huge sewing project. Well, not huge, but it felt huge to me given where I've been at lately. I made two weighted items: an 8 pound 30x34 inch lap pad, and a 10 pound 16x60 inch shawl. I'm actually really proud of the shawl, which I laid out well and did nice edging on, plus it...
  21. K

    Just Typing This Out And Making It Real

    So I'm not in touch with my parents much. My mom verbally abuses my dad and taught me to treat him like he was stupid from a young age. When I got older I patched most things up with my dad, mom and I had all out brawls involving throwing things and screaming and slamming doors for a few years...
  22. K

    Doubting My Perspective In Regards To My Ex

    So I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. Validation and understanding I guess, and just a place to share what's in my head. I broke up with the first person I'd had a non-physically abusive relationship with about 3 months ago. I've been going back and forth between being okay with it and...
  23. K

    Support And Tips For Pelvic Exams

    So, I'm a trafficking/sexual violence survivor. And like many people with ptsd I do not do well with the increased vulnerability that comes with doctor's visits. But lately symptoms have gotten out of hand and I need to go in and be checked out. I know I have cysts from another unrelated...
  24. K

    Triggered In Defense Class

    So I'm trying to be proud of myself because I went to a defense class targeted at women for domestic violence/sexual assault response. I started going to a dojo a little under a month ago, and it was held there by the instructor. I really like the instructor, D, and feel safe with him and with...
  25. K

    Isolated, in a new place, and trying to move forward

    So last month I had to stay with my parents for a few weeks, which is decidedly not a good environment. I've freaked out and slept in my car in the middle of nowhere in winter to avoid their house in the past, as an indicator. While I was there I broke up with my bf who was mildly abusive but...
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