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The posts not questioning the diagnosis and simply suggesting an open mind to try to learn new skills to gradually replace the destructive ones have been met with the same aggression. Has been stated several times while putting words in our mouths and "thanking us for our advice". Personally, I...

It may be helpful to consider for a moment the limitations of this sort of environment. We cannot diagnose and we cannot provide a course of action specific to you. We can answer general questions that have factual answers, we can offer our own personal opinions and perspective, and we can...

Formal diagnosis seems like the next step. Try not to get too far ahead of yourself- depending on what route you go it's important to be able to demonstrate that traditional treatments have not worked for you. More on that in a bit. I agree with @shimmerz that carefully considering whether you...

@stenni I actually didn't realize I was doing it until lately. I've had a resurgence of a lot of chronic physical pain that was better for a while. And so I've had to deal with the fact that there are times I just cannot manage some of the things I'm used to being able to do. I still beat myself...

I totally understand that. So take it or leave it, but maybe you can take a middle ground of "here's how I felt. I'm not sure whether it's partly because of the fact that I'm so used to being on my own and I was so focused on doing what feels safe to me, which is to isolate. Maybe we could...

Oh gosh, now I have to respond ;). It was out of concern for both of you. For her because obviously I see myself there and all the negative reactions I have encountered when I have trusted someone and told them about my past. And I have had some phenomenally bad reactions from people I was...

I feel like embracing this as a part of you is important. This is actually something I'm struggling with today- accepting that the part of me that overreacts, lashes out, is whiny or immature in reflection is valid and is there because of my experiences. I think it's important to know when to...

Just my initial impression: Your reaction is not at all unreasonable but if you can, maybe talk to her about the fact that you felt like she didn't know what to do when faced with you being at less than your normal level of functioning. She might be out of her depth. She might just not know how...

If it's a situation I'm going to be in often (Explaining to someone that I will do something but have other priorities currently, asking for more time with something or declining a social invitation as a few examples) I will sometimes memorize those responses. You can practice them. It sounds...

This was one of the things that stood out but I failed to respond to. I speak very calmly about most parts of my abuse, even in detail. For me this is dissociation, not a sign of being healed or 'over it'. I struggle daily but my affect often doesn't match my internal experience. Particularly if...

I think this is what this whole thing comes down to for me. Personal responsibility for your reaction to the information you asked to be provided with. And if you can't have responsibility to act accordingly, then it is your responsibility to seek out the help to do so from a qualified...

She trusts you enough to provide you with details of an event that is painful to her. She made it clear she didn't want for you to be provided with his information, but she told you what happened to HER. You made the situation about you, and about finding out who he was, to what purpose exactly...

I felt personally obligated to stand up and do what I could and to try to set an example for how one could function with serious trauma in their past. Partially because I still felt at least on some level that I had a voice. Not everyone does. And that doesn't make innocent victims who cannot...

To my mind, there is a difference between seeking to integrate your experiences into a life that you can actually bear to experience (understanding that complete social overhaul takes time and we must work within the structures we have for now) and submitting to abuse/being part of the problem...

Exactly. And we all (well, at least most of us I think) have our moments where we just have to let it all out and rant and even lash out. But if you want to have a discussion you need to be able to do it without invalidating the experiences of others and to understand that just because someone...

Thank you for this clear statement @Ms Spock. It is up to each of us to take responsibility for our own emotional responses, however having some basic decorum does go a long way. I've been watching this thread over the past couple of days and I think this also says a lot: I cannot be the only...

A cup is a US volume of measure used in cooking, 8 oz standard. I don't have a recipe that doesn't use peanut butter in peanut cookies, so I hope someone else can give you one, but this might be helpful in the future if you're frequenting places that use US measures and would prefer to have...

Don't have any advice, but I just had to start over with a new T, my ninth. Some have been because of time limits or them leaving the practice, some have just been awful fits, and I've also moved several times. It's really tiring- we've had moments where I'm like "that was very insightful but...

Probably not a good time to be buying a house. Especially if you feel the need to manipulate him into being closer through jealousy. I'm not sure what there is to fix. Long distance can be a way to build a friendship and start a relationship. But if you never got to a point where you could see...

'Normal' is an average, to be sure. And it can be comforting that everyone has their own oddities. Not to turn this into an argument on what normal is and isn't, but it's difficult because when everyone does have their own oddities how do you decide where to get your reality check? It's way...

Yes, often. I just mentioned to someone yesterday how I once had said in a group of friends "it's like that thing where you're drinking water and it makes you terrified you're going to die" and then had to have it pointed out to me that maybe for someone who has been half-drowned that WOULD...

I don't think anyone has said that they love their ptsd. In fact rather the opposite. I'd hand over my card to the club in a heart beat. But, since that's not an option I find it important to me to try to figure out where the lesson is in this. I have a chronic physical illness as well, and...

Glad I'm not the only one. Don't get me wrong, on the days where I'm almost non functioning it's impossible to find anything good about ANYTHING, let alone the disorder. But I don't know where I would be right now if things had gone differently. I do know that many of the things that on the...

I feel some of the responses are unfair. Of course no one wants this, of course we would trade it. But I've seen threads in the past where whether it was the focus or a tangent people expressed some of the positive things that they did feel, such as being more focused on appreciating their...

I hope you're able to show up. I'm sure it will be enough. Learn his name. You'll want to know later on for you. If you can't show up, maybe write a note. It doesn't matter if you don't have much to say. Maybe even say that you're sort of lost, sometimes it's difficult for you to even take...