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Okay, but for you that's not really "just". That is the way you are able to get your sleep. It really is an incompatibility issue. Does that mean you can't find ways around it? No. But dismissing and minimizing your own needs OR his needs isn't going to help either.

I think it's a natural reaction to stress. I just think with our stress cups and everything else, it means that we see it way more often that 'normal' people do. If you talk to people after a crisis they'll have impressions of watching everything in slow motion, from out of body, being numb...

Unfortunately they don't see to. If I'm not ashamed of something, I normally won't cover for it. I believe that if you're going to be ridiculously rude and ask a total stranger personal questions when you have no need of the answer you deserve whatever discomfort you are made to feel. For me...

I struggle with suicidal ideation. I consider myself 'passively suicidal' during big chunks of the year related to my trauma. There have been a number of times where I have put affairs in order, written a note, destroyed things I did not want found, left passwords in a scheduled email for...

Thank you @moonbeam The counter sounds like a great idea. :) I really like the butterfly method. Sometimes I draw over the butterflies again instead of letting them fade. It's incentive but it's also a nice reminder that there's something pretty on my skin instead of new cuts because I'm taking...

I'm a person who needs a lot of cuddles. Some people just don't do well with cuddles, particularly when they're asleep. I didn't sleep for about 6 months in one of my former relationships because my partner was a no sleep cuddle sort of person. If a compromise of cuddles before sleep and then...

I float somewhere in between here. I've fought hard to stop the knee jerk reaction of being angry or hurt when someone says this. I have lost almost everyone. I currently have one friend I've known for more than 3 years. I push people away and or I find the wrong people for me. I used to...

I am not an expert, and I do not have full blown DID. What I do know is that there is a very definite shift when I am not coping well in general but am able to be temporarily functional and get something done. That has a particular feeling in my head, and then once I'm back home I go back into...

Welcome to the forum.

I don't have any advice but just wanted to offer my support. I hope a change can be made soon so you don't have to deal with this additional stress in your life.

I just wanted to share- I have struggled significantly with self harm at various points for the past 10 years. I'm in a position where I can't really say I've stopped entirely- the urge is still there often and my current living situation is so unstable that it's really quite possible (not...

I feel raw and vulnerable for a long while after a flashback or other episode. I think part of it's that I can't be as aware as normal- the hypervigilance just can't be kept up after that much energy expenditure. I also am in the headache and body temperature regulation camp. Normally I have...

I wonder if there is some sort of standard guidance besides "do your best to make sure the client doesn't harm themselves or you". I mean, honestly there's not a whole lot to be done that's going to be reliably helpful. I didn't mean to imply that you should feel guilty. Quite the opposite-...

I have accepted that I will not live up to the expectations of the people in the town in which I grew up- being the perfect student, then finding the perfect husband and having the perfect family in a perfect suburb and never doing anything particularly worthy of criticism. More so I have...

I would try to talk to her about the incident. People will need different things. You also state it was at the end of the session- perhaps she had some of her own stress crop up that caused her to be a bit more harsh than she otherwise would be in an attempt to pull you out of it more quickly...

I'm very glad you're taking care of yourself even though it's very difficult. I know you don't need my approval, but I'm really proud of how you're handling all of this- you seem to be looking for productive ways to work through it as healthily as you can. It would be really easy to let...

I think something else to consider is if you chose to tell people at work what was going on, how might they respond: I don't know her, I don't know whether she's suffering or looking for an excuse. But I do know that people with mental illness get very good at hiding the depth of their illness...

I have only a few times had complete episodes of dissociation where I felt almost like I broke and then I woke up again. I have not been in your particular situation, but I have been in situations that frightened me when I came to and realized I had not been acting under my own active knowledge...

I had someone do something similar recently and was really touched. I mean, it's one thing to have people see us struggle or be told that we struggle and another to have someone apply that knowledge and really take the time to make sure we understand A- what the commitment entails in as much...

I was thinking recently about the conversations my dad and I had before my grandfather's memorial a few years ago. I live across the country now, and I was planning to go back for it. And he responded with something well intentioned along the lines of "no one expects you to come if it's...

I think this is actually part of the reason this has been on my mind a lot. I've been "out of spoons" (out of energy reserves) a lot lately. But I also for the first time am around people who really understand that and don't seem to fault me when I need to change plans or say no to a new...

I'm just wondering what some other people's opinions on this might be: I find that personal accountability is big for me, in my own life and for those around me. I've had so many people who would never do a thing they promised whether it was a big deal or something inconsequential. So it's...

Wow... Honestly at this point I'm practiced enough it's not very hard to take a few punches or a constant stream of insults either. I can understand having a slightly skewed sense of 'normal' when it comes to sex. I certainly do. But I try to compensate by attempting to determine what is most...

This. Although probably for people who have sexual trauma there's a bigger chance of a stress response causing an issue, as well as a bunch of potential reproductive issues that are often tied loosely to trauma history that can cause that. As for the oral sex issue for me it was definitely...

I believe you. My first trauma was essentially a small trafficking situation with 4 men and a small number of select clients. Then two physically abusive boyfriends who raped me fairly regularly. My last assault was a date rape at the hands of my most trusted male friend at the time. I reported...