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Iam - I'll try to draw something, since I can't seem to make coherent sentences with words right now. I can't tell you how I feel, but it's not good. Hearing I'm an inspiration to you, made me smile. I wish I could feel as strong as I seem to appear.
TLight - I think your rages are like my...
I'm sorry if this is really all over the place - I'm having problems with expressing myself properly tonight. I'll do my best.
My pysch is suggesting I attempt to address the anger I feel about previous physical and sexual abuse in my childhood. I've always had a problem with expressing anger...
I've had that quite badly lately. I've always thought it was Vertigo, as I do suffer with it, but it also happens when I'm stressed and/or very, very tired. It was also a bad side effect of when I stopped my meds abruptly a few years back (stupid, I know). Anyway, no, you aren't alone. I get...
I'm on 100mg Sertraline (daily) and 160mg Propranolol (daily). Propranolol has helped a lot with the severity and frequency of the panic attacks, but they're creeping back in again. Sertraline seems to be keeping me from rock bottom, but has made my nightmares worse and very frequent as a side...
Thank you for sharing your story with me :smile: I think it's amazing that you were able to keep persisting with EMDR and that you found it helped you, even though you found it distressing.
My T is away now for a week, so I won't see her until the second week in August. I guess half of me is...
Thank you so much for the responses here - it's comforting to know that I'm not alone in struggling with the attacks. Thank you also for the PM I recieved - I'll reply in a bit.
The deep breathing techniques only work occasionaly for me. It depends how bad the attacks are too - if I'm...
I had 5 panic attacks yesterday, one of which was pretty bad. I can feel another coming on now and I'm trying so hard to keep as calm as I can. I'm on 160mg Propranolol and have been for a while now. I'd even go as far as to say it's been a bit of a wonder drug for me. I used to have at least 10...
I didn't have a positive experience with Citalopram - I felt it made me extremely ill and the panic attacks were unbearable. I've been on many, many different medications over the years and I know it takes time to find the right one that works. I hope the side effects go away for you. If you...
I've struggled with flashbacks/dissociation making me feel completely paralysed for a long time now, but it's gotten worse again now I'm doing EMDR. I feel like I'll try to say something and I can't find my voice. I can't make a sound. I'm saying it inside my head, my mouth is moving, but I...
Yeah, I've done that a lot. I've found it triggers the dissociation which has been a HUGE problem for me. I'll continue with trying to break past these barriers that are caused by the dissociation and see what happens. Thank you for your words, they mean more than I can explain. Thank you.
D/x
I find it increasingly difficult as well. I think it's because I don't seem to feel safe anywhere and I'm extremely hyper-aware constantly. The 'safe place' I've been using lately is a dark room with candles all around. White fluffy pillows and feathers to keep me warm and comfy. I'm lying on...
That was an amazing post onlybygrace. I definately identify with it. Thank you for writing that. It's so difficult to stop thinking so negatively about myself. It's so hard to feel worth something when you feel like you're worth nothing. I pretend sometimes, but I don't think I ever really have...
That's amazing that you were able to tell your story in a book - I can imagine that's quite therapuetic to do and extremely brave.
We're here for you.
D/x
This could be a reason the dreams are happening and your brain is connecting the feelings to the rape. I relate to the feeling of being too scared to sleep. It's horrible, because I feel like I'm trapped inside myself.
Do you like massage? Or just having your fiancee stroke your hair to help...
I think it's since my EMDR T session that I've been feeling so vulnerable and fragile. It's like that layer above wanting to get better, is feeling worth getting better and filtering out those voices of my parents and not dissociating when those feelings come back.
I need a cuddle.
Have you been talking about past incidents to anyone recently? They maybe happening because you've been opening up about what has happened to you? Or it could be the opposite - they maybe happening because you are trying to bury the memories and it's your brains way of telling you that it's time...
Thank you so much for the responses here. I feel so connected to you guys. It's so difficult to filter out those voices of negativity, as they scream so much louder than I can. I've been working so hard to fight this and I feel constantly drained and exhausted. It's horrible to on one hand...
This is something I was talking about with my T in my last session. Since I was very, very young, my parents have always told me I'm pathetic, useless, horrible and worthless. I feel like everything I try, I will fail at, because I've had in carved into my mind from an early age that whatever I...
It's awesome that you were able to talk to your T about how you were feeling and even better that you felt it made a difference. Super props to you!!
D/x
I think it's disgusting the way your T acting towards you. She was in a position of trust and abused that trust. I think it's amazing that you're able to talk about that. Super props to you. Whenever you're ready and feel comfortable, we'll be here.
This is a great thread - thank you!
Therapy is one of the key places where I was first challenged, in regards to pushing set boundries. I had a T (out of many) who was very strict on time keeping during sessions. She explained to me that I was the person who had to bring something to a therapy...
Wow, that sounds really useful. If you could share your thoughts and techniques that you've found have been of great help, I'd definately appreciate your input.
My T said she'd spoken to her supervisor and told me her supervisor had thought that EMDR focussing on the past was being blocked by...
Thank you for saying that it's part of the process, as I keep thinking how I feel or hopw I react isn't 'normal', you know? I have this thing in my head that I can't be fixed.