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    Sexual Assault When Stop means Go....When No means Maybe....

    When Stop means Go....When No means Maybe.... Im freaking old and would think this issue would have stopped by now. I don't go out or do stupid shit....but its evidently not me or my age. In 2015, I was 57 yrs old. My husband and I were trying to rebuild a relationship after long separation. He...
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    When is enough, enough

    I have been doing pretty well past months. I quit smoking 11 days ago and have been doing fair with that, though thoughts and emotions are coming up.Talked to my husband tonight about my control issues. Its hard to separate because he is a hoarder and I want things cleaned up. So the...
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    Accumulation leading to escape

    I know its been very stressful for everyone for months now, and I am not alone. Husband lost job of 40 yrs in January. Self funded and had not paid our medical bills in months. Not much one can do about that-as I learned. Jumped thru all the hoops, not having insurance. Had to push him to file...
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    Added stress from neighbours wanting to keep chickens

    Saturday my neighbor approached me while I was out in my yard. Our back yards but up against each other and my pool is just a few feet from my fence. She told me that she intended to build a chicken coop in her yard but discovered that she needed special permission regarding zoning int he city...
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    December is my trigger

    I guess December has many bad memories. Its my birthday. My mother died in december, as did my nephew. Most of all, I was assaulted in my home, had a gun to my head, and was drug away by a cop the thought I was someone else. It was freezing and I was poorly dressed in the middle of the night...
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    Does anyone really give a shit about others?

    I read many forums that are very specific. Some of the topics get way over my head...for where I am now. I am just wondering if anyone really cares about supporting anyone else, seems to always be a motive ( compare selves, one up, more knowledge, got the answer if you would just follow...
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    PTSD married to Passive Aggressive

    Almost 33 yrs of marriage with a big separation period ( 10 plus yrs). We are back together but not the way he would like it. It works for out grown kids and retirement. I won't go in to past of passive aggressive behaviors, but for me to tell this, it sounds like I am nuts-or he is almost...
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    FEAR

    I am feeling fear tonight. I stood up to my husband that threw a fit. All day I asked him to help me clean this big house and he avoided. Tonight he wanted to know what was wrong and I avoided talking about it. Finally he turned off the tv and became insistent. So I told him. Then he made all...
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    Dying of lonliness

    For the past 3 yrs, I have stayed in bed 20 hours a day except maybe once a week. There are other reasons than loneliness that have caused this, and i have assumed that to be the case. Next week, I am going to the beach with my husband and dog. I have been in a panic state. Not sure why. My dog...
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    Music changes you?

    Pink Floyd/Eclipse/Brain Damage is a song that I both love and hate. It reminds me of my teens, of the crazy world, of my sister (7 yr apart but something we shared), of my own brain injury. It is so much more that I can even explain. It reminds me of presidents past and politics, of the ways of...
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    Medical Sick of being ill

    I know that early childhood trauma and ptsd cause many illnesses, and many that I have are related. My ptsd symptoms have been getting better over the past couple years but my health problems have worsened. (fibromyalgia, irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, myofacial pain, disc and muscular...
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    Sexual Assault Sexual assault and less is worse

    I don't really know what is wrong with me or what to do about it. I have been violently sexually assaulted int my younger day and done nothing and " got over it" I suppose. I have been in positions where I froze and had sex when I did not want to. I don't blame the guy for that, I never said...
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    My dog died today

    About a month ago my dog was sick and had to have abdominal surgery. She came home fine but about 5 days later had an episode where she fell over and couldn't get up, was weak, tremors, gazed, etc. Got her in hospital and Dr said it wasn't good. By the next day, she was walking again and 95%...
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    Dysania

    I recently came across information on "dysania" and another term that describes people that can not get out of bed. Of course depression is what comes to mind but even when I don't feel really depressed, an argument goes on in my head to get up. Sometimes I will brush teeth and wash face and...
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    Financial abuse

    My husband is pretty generous with me. It was my birthday last week and he bought me nice boots. My dog ate my favorite sweater and he replaced it. He makes a good living and puts everything on a credit card and pays it monthly. He pays all the bills. Today we went Christmas shopping and bought...
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    Acceptance

    I don't know if others have been through anything similar, but I have finally accepted the relationship I have with my daughters. It didn't happen over-night, so it didn't just happen, but my acceptance has been growing stronger up to this point and I am sure will get even stronger. My 2...
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    Checked out!

    When I was first diagnosed with ptsd ( 2 yrs after a complicated head injury), I had nightmares, general anxiety, panic attacks, depression. I continued to stay busy but was jumpy and agitated. I felt like I was spinning my wheels and getting nowhere. My low blood pressure became elevated often...
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    Childhood Neglect

    I attend a group for adult children of alcoholics. I am almost 60 and worked through the issues surrounded by being an Adult Child of Alcoholic many years ago, and for that -life was much better. I had not been diagnosed with ptsd at that time.Then it spiraled downward about 10 yrs ago. Soon I...
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    Depressive Realism

    I recently read an article about "Depressive Realism"- a theory that people suffering from depression may actually have a more realistic view than non depressed persons. However, non depressed people tend to have rose colored lens's which produces more positive thoughts and better immune system...
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    Think Husband Sociopath

    My husband agreed to help me clean out garage and shed. He wants me to take amphetamines that my dr does not want me to take so I can get more work done in repairs around the house. But this evening, he agreed to help me. We emptied most of shed and he took something to garage and didn't come...
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    Today.....venting Or

    Sometimes I find myself just needing to vent, to share an experience. Most times they are upsetting to me, but occasionally, it is something really touching. I appreciate feedback, support, or others point of view. I am guessing that there must be others that feel the same and may want to...
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    Lesser Of Two Evils Growing Up

    Recent posts have brought up memories of my teen years. My mom was depressed alcoholic, likely abused herself and maybe ptsd. While I witnessed things no kid should have, was put in bad situations, neglected, and somewhat abused, no recall at all of sexual abuse besides repeated witnessing adult...
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    Are Adults Behaving More Immaturely In General

    I am really puzzled about something, that may or not have anything to do with ptsd. I can honestly say, that 10 yrs ago, if given a scale of 1-10 on my average behavior, I would give myself at least a 9 all of the time. Not so much now. I probably average a 7 and if pushed hard enough, (not that...
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    When Ssris Stop Working

    A couple years ago I read on this site a psychiatrist outside the US that stated that anti depressants actually is like chemical brain damage and that it was all about big pharm-that the jest of it. Recently there are many articles, including Physocolgy Today that states about the same. Those...
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    My Sister Has Stage Iv Cancer

    I know that my situation is odd, but most of the people that I have loved and lost has been sudden and unexpected. My oldest sister died when I was 15 and she was 28 of unknown cause, which I now think was overdose. My grandaughter died of SIDS. My nephew was shot by his nurses drug addicted...
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