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  1. Simply Simon

    “I come not to bring peace but a sword”: Rage and Retribution

    My father no longer lives bound by the restrictions of Orthodoxy, but he is still a devout man. God-fearing. The Judaic God is not known for His mercy. Absolution doesn’t exist in Judaism. There is no magic moment that can make you clean. Jews believe in atonement through action. Christians...
  2. Simply Simon

    (NC) Another Chapter of My Living Dead: Eulogy of My Father

    @grief Thank you very much for responding and sharing. All my threads are always open for discussion. I just have a very strong lean towards a narrative style that gets stronger and stronger the more emotional and painful something is for me to write. In most ways, going no contact with my...
  3. Simply Simon

    “I come not to bring peace but a sword”: Rage and Retribution

    I have spent so many years absolving my father so that he was charged only with the crime of absence and ignorance. “No, no, no more, son of a bitch... No more happy face.” He f*cking saw it happening. He saw it. All those years of abuse? All those abusers. The years when my mother...
  4. Simply Simon

    (NC) Another Chapter of My Living Dead: Eulogy of My Father

    My father decided, somehow, maybe three years ago or more that he “wanted a relationship” with me, which was, to me, abrupt and which he pursued with sudden... aggression is my word. Zeal, maybe. It was something I knew I could not give him. Something I had already long wrestled with and fairly...
  5. Simply Simon

    In PTSD/CPTSD terms, what is the difference between “outraged” and “enraged”?

    @grief gave an excellent and concise explanation of the connotations for outraged v enraged. As a linguist, yeah, there’s a connotative difference, but it’s negligible in usage. You would have to consult a corpus to find out whether there really is a strong connotative lean one way or the other...
  6. Simply Simon

    vivid nightmares everyday for a year

    I’ve had insomnia, night terrors, more-vivid-than-life Nightmares, and just regular horrific nightmares (capital N here like a capital T Trauma for me—Nightmares are clearly and distinctively trauma-related) since my abuse ended around age seven-ish (I’m 30). I’ve tried to stay away from this...
  7. Simply Simon

    Therapy hangover, anyone else? Any tips for managing them?

    I’ll take a hangover from substance abuse over a therapy or stress/PTSD “episode”/meltdown any time, please. My last and dearly beloved T would work with me for 2+ hours with a 50-minute slot and charge every other week. I have no complaints about the free/50%+ off therapy, but she kicked my...
  8. Simply Simon

    Job interview(s)

    I was really anxious to hear from you today. Well done! I will not feel surprised if you get on board and find that, actually, you’re not particularly impressed by your colleague and realize you’re perfectly capable of the same job or more capable. I only say that because my friends and I in...
  9. Simply Simon

    DID PTSD Dissociation vs Alter switching

    I was going to write a response about my experience with this when I re-examined the title and stopped. Is it helpful or even “correct” to describe alter switching and dissociation as separate, really? I see them as the same symptom with different degrees and permutations. I have lost time...
  10. Simply Simon

    Write a happy story in 3 words

    Mist filters sunbeams.
  11. Simply Simon


    I actually do not know where to start addressing your experience of being left alone when you were a child unable to leave your home and with no one to support you for weeks at a time on any level. I know several people who have taken time to realize being left alone at various ages for days or...
  12. Simply Simon


    I feel worried by some of the above, largely by your categorization of your trauma on a spectrum that sounds like “not that bad” and “validly horrific.” Is this categorization serving you? Has your T/support team talked with you about the possibility of disordered attachment? Anxious attachment?
  13. Simply Simon

    Recovering memories help

    I could write an essay about topic of recovered/buried memories, the history of mental health professionals regarding such memories giving context for current prevailing attitudes and their gunshy nature, and my own experience of surfacing memories that were, blessedly, not only proven accurate...
  14. Simply Simon

    Depression, sadness and practicing sitting in discomfort

    I wish I had more to offer in this string of beautiful responses, but instead I’ll say I’m sitting in this space with you, my dear friend.
  15. Simply Simon

    Job interview(s)

    So as a professional editor who has also felt alarmed by going rates... if you are a professional, you are a professional, and you deserve to be compensated competitively for your services. Try to remember what you’ve written here regarding your online interview. I personally hate phone...
  16. Simply Simon

    News Researchers Doubt That Certain Mental Disorders Are Disorders At All

    This thread has blown up since I started a response, and I don’t have the energy to catch up, so I will merely respond to grief: I wasn’t saying sufferers are not disordered. Let me clarify: I was positing that our disorder is an appropriate response to our experiences that should not be...
  17. Simply Simon

    Sufferer I'm new/severe complex trauma brain dump

    Welcome to the forum! This is so fantastic to read, having read your harrowing ordeal with trauma and family therapy, and it is so crucial. I’m so happy for you to have these resources in your journey. Please do not fret about your writing style. I felt you were clear, comprehensive, and...
  18. Simply Simon

    News Researchers Doubt That Certain Mental Disorders Are Disorders At All

    My mantra is “There is no tiger.” It’s my easy way of reminding myself that stress is a mostly obsolete reaction to the perception of danger. I almost died in a very very very near miss car accident, but I had no spike in adrenaline or cortisol, because at the time I was hypomanic and was...
  19. Simply Simon

    News Researchers Doubt That Certain Mental Disorders Are Disorders At All

    PTSD is a normal reaction to abnormal circumstances. “The way humans live their lives today” is a manner of living characterized by a set of nonsensical methods and rules producing a population sick with the disease of artificial scarcity borne out of manufactured hierarchies that are...
  20. Simply Simon

    I can’t get a hold of myself long enough to make any lasting change

    Well jeez. I’m wondering why you keep disclosing the comforts of your life, how your family was loving and you’re not scrounging for survival? It reminds me of the way I used to speak about my own struggle, how I felt like I was somehow cheating by looking for support when I am graced, the way I...
  21. Simply Simon

    Who pays for the forum?

    It really does seem like yesterday that I was a young, lost, angry 20-year-old easily wounded and ready to bite. Now I’m practically a senior citizen here. I didn’t think I would live this long. I wouldn’t have. I made it because the good people of this community were there for me even if I was...
  22. Simply Simon

    Who pays for the forum?

    Seems like yesterday. I think about it every year between February and April-ish. Man I’m getting old. So if we raised $160-200, would that pull us back on track?
  23. Simply Simon

    Do you need PTSD to post here?

    @Friday was better at elucidating my “find out what’s actually happening without peer support being one’s sole support system and help center” feelings and the ticking clock aspects of that reaction from members. I couldn’t figure out what “before the forums were separated” thing was about...
  24. Simply Simon

    Do you need PTSD to post here?

    I didn’t say it was an inevitability. Read what you quoted carefully, which is the concluding overview of my rather comprehensive reply, and you might find it less strongly worded than you initially thought. I think I was pretty thorough in my explanation for why there is a tendency toward...