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  1. W

    I’m pathetic. It wasn’t that bad…

    Wow! Thank you for this... I do everything I can to hide it from people. To "shut up and get on with life", yet still I hear this voice. Interesting stuff.
  2. W

    My Therapist has had to end our work very abruptly

    Thank you. I absolutely love the idea of having a goodbye session for myself. I do think I have been holding on to the small glimmer of hope/wish that she may return to work. I practically begged her to do this when we ended. I sent email after email after email asking her to reconsider. But...
  3. W

    My Therapist has had to end our work very abruptly

    Thank you. It is also testament to the work that we have done together, building trust, working on my attachment 'issues', developing a healthy internal parent who can comfort my younger part. Interesting you should talk about my inner strength, because that is something I have always had...
  4. W

    My Therapist has had to end our work very abruptly

    Thank you for understanding, it means a lot. I really hope so too. I really need that right now. I really need to start to build a trusting relationship so that I can process everything that has been dumped on me. I have been using the Shout text service during the very very dark times, as I...
  5. W

    My Therapist has had to end our work very abruptly

    Thank you. I will be pursuing getting my things back, and I trust that when she can, she will. I am fortunate that I have an old therapist who I worked with right at the beginning, who really gets me, who is helping me to find someone else, I just have to be patient as the one she has in mind is...
  6. W

    I’m pathetic. It wasn’t that bad…

    I often come back to this. It seemed to be less and less though as I heard my therapists voice more. It's so hard.
  7. W

    My Therapist has had to end our work very abruptly

    My therapist of five years has recently ended therapy with me very suddenly. We were working away quite nicely, just starting to really 'get to' the real trauma work when she had a bereavement. She took a month off and then before our scheduled session said that she had re-evaluated her working...
  8. W

    Dawning Realisation concerning my present self and past self

    I just want to say thank you so much for your replies! I am processing everything that has been said. Some really useful food for thought, and will write a detailed reply soon. But I have read and I am grateful, so thank you.
  9. W

    Dawning Realisation concerning my present self and past self

    I'm not really sure where to post this, or even what to call the thread, but after five years of therapy I have come to a sudden realisation and sadly my therapist quit on me in the middle of our session two weeks ago so I have nowhere to process this. I went through some abuse when I was a...
  10. W

    Emotional Dependency on therapist/emotional pain

    That sounds like a great idea. Talking about the relationship is, in my experience, a big part of the work and healing from past hurts.
  11. W

    Emotional Dependency on therapist/emotional pain

    Hey, I'm so sorry you are going through a bit of a dilemma. The relationship between the counsellor and the client is a strange but magical one, in my experience. My T was the same as yours to begin with, didn't really seem too open about me developing a strong attachment to her. But over time...
  12. W

    I’m frustrated with my therapist and I want to quit.

    She doesn't sound like someone I would work with, and realistically, 4 months is quite a short time investment wise, so maybe better to cut your losses, especially given how you have already tried to bring up difficulties with her and not been listened to, acknowledged, accepted etc. Only you...
  13. W

    What do you think of Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation by Janina Fisher?

    I bought this book a couple years ago. I got a very small amount in and was triggered so badly by it all. I gave up reading it and actually think I gave the book away, to my T. Looking back I think maybe I just wasn't ready to face what happened to me. I couldn't even think the word trauma, let...
  14. W

    How to ‘connect with’ a split-off part? (Not DID)

    Barefoot, I can totally relate and I really feel for you. Take it steady...one tiny step at a time (even if they are backwards, What surprised me most in therapy was one day suddenly realising that backwards can actually mean forwards!!)
  15. W

    How to ‘connect with’ a split-off part? (Not DID)

    Oh bless you... It's so very very difficult. I can totally relate to that... Even when working with my Little One there were often times that I wanted to give up. Hopeless. No idea what I was doing. Felt stupid and crazy at the same time. So much frustration. It took a good few years, but it has...
  16. W

    How to ‘connect with’ a split-off part? (Not DID)

    I should add maybe, after reading these posts, that I have a Little One too. Me and Little One did not get along at first. She didn't trust me and I thought she was a complete pain in the butt, or worse! I'm pretty sure I used to say that I hated her. But after some intense and very difficult...
  17. W

    How to ‘connect with’ a split-off part? (Not DID)

    Oh my word! I haven't read everyone's responses yet but I feel like I could have written yours almost word for word... really. I'm not sure I have any answers, because like you I am still stuck with it all. I don't know how to connect to this part of me (Teenage One) I don't know how to relate...
  18. W

    Triggered Trance and T Support

    Oh yes, build and destroy, I totally get that. For her it probably doesn't seem quite so extreme, though she probably noticed the difficulties, hence the push pull, and honestly, it will probably always need work. I have felt a chasm recently between T and I, and only last session did I manage...
  19. W

    How much does your therapist charge?

    I consider myself extremely fortunate. I pay £30 per hour, but we often go over. I found what I would consider for me, the very best therapist and I am glad that it has been affordable. I needed two sessions a week for a long time, so in reality this journey has cost me well in excess of...
  20. W

    Triggered Trance and T Support

    How to feel a supportive connection to my T? Years of work together! It took what seemed like forever to even establish a connection and even longer for me to be able to hold on to the connection outside of session. In the early days we agreed that email outside of session times was ok. This...
  21. W

    Triggered Trance and T Support

    Time mainly. Sometimes it's a case of getting up and doing something different if I can muster the... Energy?? Turning the TV or radio off before I even get into that state is my best way forwards, or walking away from conversations. I go into shut down mode otherwise and then just have to kind...
  22. W

    So, how should I feel realizing at 62 my parents, whom I loved, did a terrible job?

    I am right here with you. Not sure what is better at the moment. I think it's like tidying up. Sometimes you have to make a mess to be able to sort things out, reorganise them and put them away properly. I'm hoping it will be better in the long run, for me and for you, if you choose to keep...
  23. W

    Stuck in therapy - Undecided on how to proceed

    It may well be, as you say, completely unrelated, but just a quick thought, are things that involve us, our feelings, thoughts and reactions ever truly unrelated? They are, after all, a part of our complex, tangled web. Things may be more closely related than you could ever imagine right now...
  24. W

    What is your definition of “trauma processing”?

    I'm still in the "what do I have to be ashamed of" camp most of the time, though on a cognitive level I fear I maybe ashamed of feeling shame. Thank you. What does processing look like to me? Gosh, I don't know really. I'd like to be able to watch TV shows without being frozen in fear. I would...
  25. W

    What is your definition of “trauma processing”?

    Wow! This. Thank you. We just spent the last session talking about this exact same thing, and then I read an article about the affective edge this week too. You put is so eloquently that I won't try to add to this. It's hard, but I'm hoping (trusting) that my T knows what we are doing. She can...
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