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  1. Alli D87

    Other Feeling like my PTSD doesn't count...

    I feel like it wasn't bad enough to cause me to have ptsd though it did. Like some people have had way worse things happen to them. I know everyone reacts to things in their life differently. That could be why this form of bullying gave me ptsd. I just... Feel very invalidated sometimes.
  2. Alli D87

    Other Feeling like my PTSD doesn't count...

    My abuser did threaten my life... And her bf did too as well as threats of violence. I'm afraid of them. And yes the CSA has bothered me my whole life but after the narc abuse it came to the front of my mind. (Narc and her bf had sex while I was in the other room, I heard it all). Plus I've...
  3. Alli D87

    Other Feeling like my PTSD doesn't count...

    I feel so guilty all the time and like I'm faking it somehow. I was emotionally abused by my narcissistic mother in law while my partner, her son, was battling cancer. The thing is that most of it happened behind my back. I would say 80% of it. I mean the other 20% is bad enough bullying and...
  4. Alli D87

    Childhood Weird Sensation In Genitals - Body Memory?

    Your post and the responses made me realise that that uncomfortable tingling is a body memory... I was molested as a child and to this day still get that tingly feeling. "I am also asexual (don't like sex) thankfully my partner is okay with that :)
  5. Alli D87

    Childhood Was this sexual abuse?

    when I was 7 or 8 my 3 years older sister molested me and made me do things to her I wont talk about. Was I just experimenting? no way! she was for sure but using me to get some sort of sexual gratification is abuse in my books. I've been told by some that its just kids being kids and that...
  6. Alli D87

    Stuck in Anger about no closure and injustice

    My abuser was my narcissist mother in law who emotionally/psychologically abused me while her son, my partner, was battling cancer. Double whammy. So I find myself having flashbacks and being so angry I could throw things. Where do you find closure? She never accepted how she made me feel. I...
  7. Alli D87

    Rapid Fire Flashbacks?

    I'm curious to know what others think or if anyone else experiences this. My flashbacks can last from a few seconds to minutes. Sometimes it's like one after another after another in rapid succession within a minute or so (I'm just guessing at timing...). I hope I'm doing an ok job of...
  8. Alli D87

    Memory loss and trying to finish school

    Thank you so much, this is great info. Napping is a hard one but I'm trying my best :). Luckily there's a gym at the college that's free for students that I can take advantage of. Thanks again
  9. Alli D87

    Memory loss and trying to finish school

    I'm on 3 antidepressants and anxiety meds. The one, wellbutrin, is supposed to help with concentration and sleepiness. The other two are effexor and abilify. Anxiety med is clonazepam. I'm going to keep that in mind and ask my psych about it possibly being a med thing too. Thank you. Though im...
  10. Alli D87

    Memory loss and trying to finish school

    My prof know I'm having memory and concentration issues. I've dropped one class and sought out a tutor for the other hard one. Thankfully I can use a memory aid which is essentially a cheat sheet approved by the professor. Thank you accomodations. I'm encountering a lot of stress regardless...
  11. Alli D87

    Memory loss and trying to finish school

    Oh good idea! I use index cards for test studying, never thought of using them for this. Thank you
  12. Alli D87

    Memory loss and trying to finish school

    Hello there, So, I was a student before my trauma. I am finally trying to finish my diploma or degree, whichever it is... I only have this one semester left :). I'm encountering a huge setback... my memory issues from the PTSD. Not only can I not remember the pertinent information from the...
  13. Alli D87

    CSA (denial, self-blame, self-hatred etc.)

    Looking back at life growing up I can now tell that the cocsa I went through affected my self-esteem and such. I now have PTSD from emotional abuse from my mother in law and ever since then memories I'd forgotten have started to surface. It's strange to know that PTSD from something unrelated...
  14. Alli D87

    what is this? a flashback?

    Thanks so much. I have a hard time remembering coping skills when I'm panicking...heh. There's that 5 step one I can never remember. I like your idea :). I've been having problems lately with a lot of intrusive memories. Somehow this feels more like a flashback but yeah...only when I'm...
  15. Alli D87

    Did you regret throwing out your journals?

    I've been told I might feel better if I throw away my journals from abuse time but just like you said, it's my "evidence"... I can't throw it away...
  16. Alli D87

    what is this? a flashback?

    I'm having a really tough time right now, some sort of episode that has never happened before. When I close my eyes I feel like I'm back in the abusive situation and I hear my abusers voice loud and clear but when I open my eyes I'm back in my living room shaking an crying feeling panicky and...
  17. Alli D87

    Nervous Energy

    This nervousness all day is a new symptom for me so I was curious what others thought of it. Thanks for the replies :)
  18. Alli D87

    Service dog q&a

    Thanks so much for the advice. I will bring him out to just hang out hopefully calmly lol. Great idea.
  19. Alli D87

    Service dog q&a

    Thanks for the replies, So I'm going somewhat in the right direction here. I need higher value treats, to work distance into training, and preemptively focus and treat before the bark. :) I think I will start to work more in public places like the pet store so he gets used to the higher...
  20. Alli D87

    Service dog q&a

    I have been training a dog I got a year ago (he's 2 now) to be a service dog. He is really smart and knows a ton of tasks relating to my needs. The only thing that's proving to be a barrier is that he is easily distracted and barks at people because he wants to go play. It's because of this that...
  21. Alli D87

    Trying to get back into job and feel embarrassed about memory problems

    I have memory problems too. I was working from home and the boss was getting frustrated with me because of my memory. She started acting sarcastic and speaking to me like I was a lesser being... well that triggered me so bad I went into a downward spiral and essentially lost my job... It really...
  22. Alli D87

    For anyone whos on prazosin

    stumbled upon this: Prazosin - an overview | ScienceDirect Topics The first heading talks about ptsd nightmares and sleep
  23. Alli D87

    Nervous Energy

    The last couple of days I've had this sort of nervous energy all day. I can't identify a trigger, anniversary event (my trauma happened over the span of almost a year), nothing. Anyone else experience this? Is it an anxiety thing? I did recently see one of my abusers while driving the other...
  24. Alli D87

    Constant mini flash memories?

    I get them all the time too (intrusive memories according to my psych). They're exhausting!... My psych just prescribed me a medication that has worked for some people for flashbacks and intrusive memories it's called Naltrexone. I just started it a few days ago so no change yet. It may not even...
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