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    Despair

    I did break my soul and I was in grieve over the loss when I wrote this. I still do. Do I slowly learn to accept the way it is. But thank you so much <3
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    Please talk to me (again)

    eve I wonder about this quote I’m just so scared. This fck up was so big. I lost one supporter. What happend if I may ask? Reason why I ask is cause it seems something I relate to. When it comes to messy house bills and no energy or zest for nothing. Im sure you heard about how to eat an...
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    Need to vent frustration

    System does not exist without people so its society and people that works within it
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    Need to vent frustration

    Ive been on rehab money from the goverment. I was healing. I was doing good. But. As of 2018, the Norwegian government has changed the rules for rehabilitation and many in Noway are now totally without income due to a very skewed social policy. We cannot even complain about this treatment, but...
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    Need to vent frustration

    I'm furious. First, you must survive the hell of trauma and hell all they did to you break your soul and spirit and humanity. Then find out that the society you live in will retraum you every time you manage to get your head above water to breathe. When you think you are healing and on your way...
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    How do I make important life decisions if they snap me into dissociation and panic?

    Ive managed to take more action with time cause I realise that If I dont Ill have a even more huge panic attack. I can wake up shit scared 4 o clock in the morning. Then the only thing to do is to put on meditation tape until I can relax again. But the pure knowledge that if I dont take action...
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    Fear of Intimacy (with friends)

    I agree with changing4best. Even without therapy it gets better with time. Was with friend yesterday and we had a tough conversation. Felt natural that my friend took my hand to console me. Still a bit awkward to be held, but I lean into it and its a good feeling. I would never had belive the...
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    Despair

    Not sure what to post this under so correct me if Ive posted under wrong category.... Yeah so I think I just broke my soul today. Reached a new level of being total bunkers mad crazy bitch did I too. Been fighting so hard to make a difference to my self. So I guess I vunerable. Also cause I...
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    Yeah would you :geek::D:chicken: Im better today :happy: Working on the process of letting go of letting silly people ruin my wellbeing or lettting people who is silly go. Try to stay focused and do my evening - let - it go - yoga :smug:
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    @DharmaGirl cause of ptsd eating disorder I cant always manage to eat other peoples food. I know it leaves me out, but I come to accept that this eating disorder is something that will be part of the rest of my life too. If Im safe with people I can tell them about it and I can even eat their...
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    @Beemo3780 yes thats what I need to do, but yes easier said then done. It hurts really bad. Included in this is that they also bought food they want me to pay partly for even if I didnt touch it and wasnt part of it as I bought my own food. Yes but even if it wont roll out on me atleast I...
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    @Nessa7 not at the cabin no. Its just a ptsd feeling that Im a bad and poisoned person that is not ok. I dont really behave that bad if I let the sane voice inside me.
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    @Beemo3780 its not that they thought they couldnt post pic of me. They know they can as we discussed this before. Its that they didnt take any picture of me. You know. when you go somewhere with your group and you are having a great time and as to show that you hurdle up togeter in the sofa...
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    First - many thanks @shimmerz for nice input. Its not only the photos no. The photos came as a confirmation to the social exclusion I allready felt before this. Meaning It doesnt feel like they include me, in conversations Im often overheard saying something, I also understand they had their...
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    I asked why I wasnt in photos and where told I could take the photos mylsef if I wanted too @Xena
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    Group dynamic and being frozen out

    Went to a cabin trip with 6 people this weekend. On return home a person had uploaded photos from the cabin trip. There was nice photos of group enjoying themselves as a group. In the sofa and by the dinner table. Later others also added their photos from this cabin stay. What was wrong with the...
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    Feeling you've never been loved

    @Bearlinda welcome :-) Coming home from school and I have met so much love and care today Im crying. Cause Im not used to it, I need it so much and its like watering a flower that has gone dry for so long. I guess its also about learning the diference from those that say by words they care...
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    Feeling you've never been loved

    I realised that one of - no - the most biggest trauma Ive survived is nt being loved. Not being cared for. Not the rapes, the sexual abuses, being bullied at school being scapegoat at home, violence etc etc etc. Solely the lack of love. I can still remember one of the most painful childhood...
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    Replaying hurtful situations

    My english went shot in that post I see when re reading. Hope you still understand what I was trying to say Im not gonna be sensitive about my failures - its ok and Ill log of and still have a good evening :)
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    I Love...

    I love - my daughter - a gift I thought I lost and would never have I love the sun through my window in the morning I love to go for long runs out in nature - feel that Im in one with the winds and the world I love yoga early in the day - makes my body come back to it self I love takin...
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    Love & christmas

    Many of us dont have a good relationship to christmas. Last two times I where with family was like - next last time drunk mother killed the christmas tree and the very last time I needed to get so drugged full of morphin to survive being with them that I wasnt really there anyway. Now I got...
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    Replaying hurtful situations

    I just to. Almost like having a rotten tooth you want to remove. Then I got to the point where it became to painful. So I asked my self what can I do about it. Its takin long time and Im still on the journey but I realise I handle it better and better. If it gets to bad Ill get out of the house...
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    New Lover

    Just want to send you warm thoughts and blessings <3
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    Earth-centered Spirituality: Pagan, Wiccan, Druid, Native American, Other

    @Lionheart777 nature heals - thanks for sharing this memorie. This is what keeps me going. Nature and the sacred moments I have being in oneness when out somewhere. I also really like your thing about prayer before session. Really good idea and really good thought to see the practice as a sacred...
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    Why yes is yes, but its actually not (many times)

    There is this internacional campaign called only yes is yes and it really ticks me of. Cant really find my arguments for those that think that its so simplistic that a yes is a absolute conscent. Can you guys help me out? For me Im thinking that a yes its not a yes in all cases cause of...
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