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    Childhood Can you block things off into different spaces

    I have been in therapy for cptsd and I have begun emdr relating to some CSA that happened with a non family member. I also have been exploring some of the factors that made me vulnerable such as violence at home etc with my parents. However I have other memories to do with one of my parents...
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    Does anyone else struggle with Christmas?

    I find it so hard and I feel so guilty for not feeling merry and finding it easy to join in the films. I hate Christmas songs especially like pop songs. I don't really know why it's a trigger even which makes me feel even more guilty. I want to try to reclaim it and make it my own but things...
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    Childhood Do you ever think that the things that are not supposed to be that bad were bad?

    I have posted here before a bit about (CSA) type stuff still can't say it properly. But in an emdr session recently I was processing a memory and my mind went to some of the times when my dad would be really verbally aggressive when I was meant to be processing a memory of physical violence...
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    Do you trust your therapist?

    And I mean like really trust them? Recently I have been feeling like my therapist (who I have felt like I do trust till recently and I have told him a lot and feel therapy has really been helping) doesn't really actually give a shit about me and isn't bothered and doesn't really want to help...
  5. O

    Does anyone else struggle with this

    Feeling that if you allow yourself anything nice or a luxury item or allow yourself to relax you will make something bad happen or something bad will happen to punish you? I get really caught up in it and it can become really hard to let myself have or do anything. I don't know if it is a ptsd...
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    EMDR During Session Experiences?

    I had emdr today and felt really nauseous when I was remembering things for a while quite intensely and also felt like I needed to move around and not stay still. Have other people had these sorts of experiences during emdr? I have been told it's normal especially during certain types of...
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    Have you ever talked to your therapist about specific triggers...

    And why they are triggering? So like I was in therapy this week and we were talking about different kinds of shame - I have general sense of shame and feeling bad that is very body focused but I also have shame specific to certain events. But if I tell him it might not make sense and then...
  8. O

    Janina Fisher?

    I wondered whether anyone had read any of her books or had done any of the exercises alone or in therapy, and if so did it help?
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    Childhood Did you report and if not why not.

    I can't. I am an adult now and I can't. I just can't. I'm fully aware of how skewed the police and the criminal justice system are. I can't verbalise it anyway. But I can't. I just wonder if the fear of feeling I have to report if I can talk is unconsciously keeping me from talking. I feel...
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    Why is it difficult to verbalise things?

    I just wondered whether anyone knows why it can be so difficult to actually verbalise the words and say CSA, abuse, whatever? Or to verbally say 'he touched me' or 'he put x in this place' or whatever? What makes it so difficult? Like what is the process behind that not being able to verbalise...
  11. O

    Feeling needy in therapy

    Just that really. I feel really needy when I get in touch with things in therapy like a childlike childish feeling as though a part of me is desperate to be listened to, or held and soothed. I have had a break of several weeks over Christmas and it's meant to be a session on Saturday. I feel...
  12. O

    I'm scared I will never be able to tell someone everything

    I'm also scared about why I feel I want to. I have always been really avoidant and shut down (even when having intrusive memories/flashbacks/nightmares/panic) I haven't been able to verbalise things and the shame has been so strong that the idea of telling someone is awful. I've been doing some...
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    Childhood Can I check something out before I ask if I can give it to someone else

    I feel really flooded with memories at the moment after my mind has begun to make different kinds of links with things so I wanted to try to write it all down to box it off and try to contain it a bit outside of therapy sessions. I wanted to ask whether the things I have written make any kind...
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    A question about details and therapy

    Hi This may be a really triggering question and triggering thing and I'm sorry if it is wrong to ask this but I really need some help with this. Can anyone who is doing ok and feels grounded and stable enough to do this tell me how much detail they have told their therapist? With examples of...
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    Is there somewhere here I can write down things to get feedback on them before I talk to my T?

    That's the question really. I don't want to post graphic content here that might be triggering for others but I also really don't know whether what happened to me was bad enough or whether it is something my T will be able to tolerate hearing (because maybe it was too too bad). I have never told...
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    How did you tell your therapist about your experiences?

    I just wondered whether anyone felt able to share how they communicated it, what words they used, how long it took, how your therapist responded etc? How did you feel after that first disclosure? Did anything come up that you didn't expect? It feels really difficult for me (I have posted about...
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    How can I make sure my therapist knows what I mean?

    I should say that at the moment I can't say the words of what I experienced. I can't say it was x kind of abuse or even say the word abuse out loud. I have started working with a new therapist and this is the first proper time I'm trying to do trauma work. The second session I saw her she knew...
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    Does anyone else find it difficult to even hear the words?

    Just that, really. I had an assessment for therapy recently and the therapist asked a question with specific words in it describing the kind of trauma I have experienced and I felt like I couldn't cope with her saying it. I felt really overwhelmed and almost frozen. I did manage to write it...
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    Being intimate - i don't think i'm normal

    I'm sorry I don't come here very much, I tend to drop in when I feel like I can. I have recently started emdr although all we are doing at the moment is the stabilisation bit, so building positive resources I think. But during the assessment we talked about intimacy - I am married - and touch...
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    Childhood Don't trust my mind

    I hope it's ok to post this here. I am so so scared. I have only recently started to face (half talk about) childhood stuff (my mum's partner) and I have never doubted what happened I always knew I just could never and can't talk about it. I've done a stupid thing and looked for his foster...
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    Are these flashbacks?

    Hi, I am new(ish) here and I have only recently started to face/confront my past experiences. To be honest saying face it might be an exaggeration but I had an assessment for EMDR last week even though I don't think my experiences were bad enough for me to call it 'trauma'. I have been having...
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    Can You Move When You Dissociate?

    Because I can and then I feel like it must not be dissociation. But I also feel really cut off and numb and I can't really focus on what other people around me are saying. But I can move and leave the room even though this is happening. I am thinking of a specific trigger where I smell...
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    Please Can You Help Me To Understand Some Things?

    Hello I am new here, and hope it is ok to just post a few questions as I feel quite confused at the moment. I have had experiences with mild dissociation (mainly cutting off, going blank/being unable to think, emotional numbing, feeling unreal) for many years since childhood. I did not realise...
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