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  1. joeylittle

    We need to create 1 unified language for our diaries

    @Widow_of_one - all the members on this thread are saying versions of the same thing, to you. I could quote many, but I'll use this one: You feel misunderstood and want to explain how *you* communicate. But explaining yourself doesn't require other people to change how they communicate. You...
  2. joeylittle

    We need to create 1 unified language for our diaries

    I'm temporarily locking the thread so I can catch up....
  3. joeylittle

    How do you work on shame?

    Ignore function. @Teasel - @Chris-duck asked you a clarifying question. Your suggesting that they research definitions - of concepts that you have posited - is passive-aggressive. I'm not reading tone, just reading words and seeing a pattern of behavior. Take the chip off your shoulder...
  4. joeylittle

    Looking for psychology resources on why abusers abuse

    Not more important than - just relevant in terms of research. There's a great deal of research specific to repeated patterns of sexual abuse, specifically (most of it challenging the assumption that the abused become abusers, since that doesn't necessarily bear out in actual research.) There's...
  5. joeylittle

    Looking for psychology resources on why abusers abuse

    @Applecore - do you have a specific type of abusive behavior in mind? Sexual, physical, emotional....?
  6. joeylittle

    Other Home Invasion

    Is there a specific reason you believe you were targeted? I'm not sure I understand what happened, can you explain it more? Were you robbed, or were you home when they broke in?
  7. joeylittle

    I’m seriously considering it… finally

    No apology needed, @Smile. It's alright to discuss suicidal thoughts - and I appreciate you acknowledging that you did not intend to post an active suicidal plan. On your topic... I notice with myself, that I can sometimes stumble upon the most unexpected reasons I don't actually want to...
  8. joeylittle

    ranking systems

    If it helps, @arfie: There are four levels we assign, based only on number of posts. We're assuming that the more a member posts, the more they've interacted with the site and other members. The idea being - a user who has made X number of posts on the forum has probably figured out a thing...
  9. joeylittle

    Husband won't change his phone settings so I can reach him in an emergency

    @HealingMama - what's emerging for me, reading the thread is - the two of you need to learn how to communicate, together. You'd both benefit from having a space where you could speak honestly about the baggage each of you has with the other - those resentments that build up over time, the...
  10. joeylittle

    Telling Significant Other about Self Harm?

    I think it's a different answer, depending on how long you've been dating. Disclosing isn't an all or nothing thing - if it's still a new relationship, it's possible that you don't want to go to that. level of vulnerability yet. If it's a more long-term situation, you might want to reveal more.
  11. joeylittle

    What does it take for you to forgive?

    Agree. And to me, the empathy is just the best tool I've found, to get me to acceptance of their actions. But when empathy doesn't work or just isn't applicable, I can also go with behavior chain analysis. Find the underpinnings of how they made choices that follow in a progression...even if...
  12. joeylittle

    Commitment issues.

    If indeed it's an avoidance behavior - and from your trauma context, it seems pretty plausible - I'd suggest you experiment with ways to be intimate in more structured situations. First thing that comes to mind is committing to a regular support group....any kind of support group. Somewhere...
  13. joeylittle

    What does it take for you to forgive?

    ^^ I'm a lot like what @enough is saying, here. (Also like your breakdown of 'fore-give', enough, that's quite elegant) Yeah - personally? I don't use the concept of forgiveness as it's typically understood, at all. I don't know if it's that I'm rejecting the concept because of how I learned...
  14. joeylittle

    It Turns out Getting Arrested Is Super Triggering

    This is my nightmare scenario, also. It's not happened to me, but I was just telling my therapist the other day why it would be very very bad for me to ever get into a situation where I needed to be brought in. Hell, when I had my car impounded for expired everything and the officer offered me...
  15. joeylittle

    Psychiatric Hospital—not what she thought

    This must be so frustrating for you. I'm really sorry to hear it. If it helps to know - It's good to give Effexor XR at the same time each day, but as long as it gets onboard sometime today? It's going to be alright. Your daughter might start to have a headache from the dose being late, and...
  16. joeylittle

    We need to create 1 unified language for our diaries

    They did - the site now leaves the ownership of posts to the members - but by posting it, you're granting the site a license to display that post on the forum. All this means is, if someone came along and copied a member's post into their blog (or whatnot), it's up to that member to issue the...
  17. joeylittle

    Psychiatric Hospital—not what she thought

    You can do some research into behavioral health centers in your area, make part of your release to your care request stronger by having identified a PHP (partial hospitalization) program she can 'step down' into. That's a higher level of care than intensive outpatient, but is still not...
  18. joeylittle

    smoking weed and dissociative disorders

    I'm not the poster you're replying to, but this popped up in a quick search: Grey Matter Volume Differences Associated With Extremely Low-Level Cannabis Use in Adolescence The summary sentence of that study: The thing about these sorts of initial investigations is: they serve to support...
  19. joeylittle

    We need to create 1 unified language for our diaries

    What would that look like - as in, is there something that you're envisioning, or some way that we are interfering with current research? I just don't think I'm understanding.
  20. joeylittle

    Childhood I'm trapped here

    Well, she's right in that as a mandatory reporter, it's not up to her to determine whether or not it's abuse. But it's a legal requirement for her to file a report for each incident. She can and should be doing that. CPS is legally required to investigate each claim. Can I ask, do you live...
  21. joeylittle

    We need to create 1 unified language for our diaries

    Most users on the site eventually become familiar with a common set of acronyms and abbreviations. Some remain idiosyncratic. And that is exactly how it is in the larger sphere of internet mental health discussion...An example would be, it's common to refer to Borderline Personality Disorder...
  22. joeylittle

    Childhood I'm trapped here

    So, @LittleBunnyLyn - I'm going to be very straight with you, without tiptoeing up to it. Last time you were on the board, I asked you this question: It's the second time I've asked you to be more specific about what you are and are not telling your therapist. You're on this board for a...
  23. joeylittle

    My diary of random thoughts

    Banned for trolling.
  24. joeylittle

    Childhood Organized abuse

    Posting in differently-named guest accounts does not stop us from identifying you as a member. There's no rule against members posting as guests; however, we have zero tolerance for members posing as guests, posting different 'backstories', looking for attention. That's trolling. @AnnieMae -...