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  1. S

    Can I trust a flashback??

    Yes I have a great T
  2. S

    Had flashback in public

    Had a family meal today. Mother was saying a story, describing a room & it ticked me straight back. Was trying so hard to stay present but it kept pulling me back. Don’t know how I looked to others. Is this “normal”? How do you deal with this?
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    Can I trust a flashback??

    I feel the same way you describe. I feel like I’m in that in between place of remembering & fighting to believe myself I’ve never had a psychotics episode Never had psychosis. The person in the flashback is someone who hurt me. It’s not coming out of thin air. But what he did here… it’s...
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    Can I trust a flashback??

    So what does that mean for me?
  5. S

    Can I trust a flashback??

    I’ve only started having flashbacks around 6 months ago. I’ve had PTSD for around 8 years. My flashbacks are horrible but they’re helping me piece together my memories, which I want. Last night I had a stomach curdling atrocious flashback. It was so bad (& inconceivable to me) that I...
  6. S

    No trust in self

    Haha, yes I see now that i was being extremely vague 😃 I’m referring to my memories, flashbacks, etc. Not sure what else to add…
  7. S

    No trust in self

    Why do I constantly doubt myself? It’s literally slowly driving me crazy
  8. S

    Mother issues - Advice on how to survive till I can get away from her & why I don’t believe myself?

    I do have a T who is simply marvelous. T gives me grounding techniques.
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    Mother issues - Advice on how to survive till I can get away from her & why I don’t believe myself?

    Fascinating… the beliefs you grew up with. I was taught as a child that babies choose their parents but that’s it. I understand & logically agree with you mostly. My problem is that I don’t think I ever said “no”. As far as I can currently remember I never uttered a word. During or after to...
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    Mother issues - Advice on how to survive till I can get away from her & why I don’t believe myself?

    But how do I do that??? I can’t seem to get angry at the abusers… I’m just angry with myself for letting it happen
  11. S

    Mother issues - Advice on how to survive till I can get away from her & why I don’t believe myself?

    Not a grammar thing. I do think it makes me disgusting. Said on purpose. Extremely embarrassed. Both my parents separately??? It’s gotta be me.
  12. S

    Mother issues - Advice on how to survive till I can get away from her & why I don’t believe myself?

    Thanks. Working on getting a government funded place for myself but it takes time… Boundaries? I just try to ignore her as much as possible. But my anxiety is going through the roof… constantly I may sound defensive here… I’ve had a recurring nightmare since I was about 8 years old. And mother...
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    Mother issues - Advice on how to survive till I can get away from her & why I don’t believe myself?

    I hate to come on here just to complain but… I am 🤷🏻‍♀️ Recently recovered more memories of abuse as a kid and this time it’s mother (& a brother). I’m constantly telling myself that I’m making this stuff up. I don’t know why I am but… T tells me it’s normal when the truth is too scary to deal...
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    LIVING is too painful

    I feel a heavy rock on my chest. Constantly. I’ve had anxiety my whole life but this is worse. My employer/doctor/father figure just suddenly died. I wasn’t doing well before this happened but now??? I just can’t. Totally stopped eating. Brain is mush. Each morning I wake up makes me feel so...
  15. S

    I’m seriously considering it… finally

    THIS. This stings. Because it’s true. I’m just not strong enough
  16. S

    I’m seriously considering it… finally

    I appreciate your responses but don’t have mental energy to respond now
  17. S

    I’m seriously considering it… finally

    I apologize for not being clear in my original post. I didn’t mean to post the part that I’m actively pursuing suicide. My question (& fear) is having to see him again. I just didnt know how to write it without adding that part. My sincere apologies. I hope I didn’t trigger anyone 😢
  18. S

    I’m seriously considering it… finally

    I’ve had suicidal ideation for the last few years now on a pretty constant basis and I’ve had it my whole life (since about 5/6 years old). Here’s my big fear: my father sexually assaulted me as a child. He’s dead now, I never got to confront him when he was alive for various reasons. I don’t...
  19. S

    Going into hospital now… mention ptsd or anxiety?

    Thanks all! I didn’t mention it & all went well
  20. S

    Going into hospital now… mention ptsd or anxiety?

    What’s more beneficial for me? Will they treat me better or worse? I’m going in bc I fell in my back… but anxieties rearing it’s ugly head
  21. S

    Funeral tomorrow & I’m SCARED 😞

    Thank you, thank you! You are SO kind to write all of this & im so much detail… I can’t tell you how much it helps/soothes me! I will try all your suggestions… they were all on the spot :) I just want to clarify one thing: when I said I can’t talk to my cousins about this I didn’t mean my...
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    Funeral tomorrow & I’m SCARED 😞

    So within the past few weeks I’ve recovered so many memories of being molested as a child including one of the molesters (my father). It’s been hard, tumultuous but also so rewarding that I’ve finally managed to remember concrete things. Two days ago my uncle died. My father’s brother. He’s the...
  23. S

    Siblings don’t believe me

    Yes, some of them have said that. It just hurts. And I’m not even sure why
  24. S

    Siblings don’t believe me

    A few months ago I finally found a T that is great. Has helped me clear up a LOT of memories which is what I need now. I can now say for certain that I was molested by at least 3 different people. 2 of them I’m not sure about yet so I don’t & won’t say anything about them. But the 3rd I know...
  25. S

    Help!! Having flashbacks, so scared

    Involuntary. And thanks for the info
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