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  1. Sweetpea76

    General New Supporter, looking for help

    Is he getting treatment? Or is he untreated?
  2. Sweetpea76

    General At a loss - he's struggling but refuses help

    It’s frustrating to be a supporter sometimes, and this is an example of one of those times. Watching your sufferer struggle and resist treatment… with the added chaos in your life that goes with that, all while having no control to change any of it. We can support, maybe suggest, but they have...
  3. Sweetpea76

    General Sufferer so weird around holidays

    There is no wrong side. This particular part of the forum is for supporters, but we welcome posts from sufferers. The sufferers have to realize a few things when posting here though. The first is that it isn’t about sufferer feelings here. The whole rest of the forum is for that. The second is...
  4. Sweetpea76

    General Sufferer so weird around holidays

    Correct you about what? That there is possibility for improvement? Sure. There’s the possibility. Anything is possible. It’s not guaranteed though. What I am saying is that this is a supporter thread in a supporter section. We have to have a different perspective. New supporters tend to...
  5. Sweetpea76

    General Sufferer so weird around holidays

    Hope is one thing. False expectations for supporters is another. This is the supporter section. One of the first things we have to accept as supporters is that “it is what it is.” Our sufferers may never get “better”. They may get worse. We have to understand if the relationship is one we can...
  6. Sweetpea76

    General Sufferer so weird around holidays

    They eventually stop asking where he is. I just tell new people that he’s anti-social. They’ll stop inviting him or expecting him… sometimes you too. You get used to it. Have your own social circle. I have friends to do stuff with when he doesn’t want to. I will say it sucks to do stuff with a...
  7. Sweetpea76

    General Sufferer so weird around holidays

    After a decade of this mess I’ve just learned to have “Plan A” and “Plan B”. If he wants to participate he can. If not, he isn’t ruining my holiday. I’m still going to enjoy myself and the holidays as much as possible, even if he can’t. I get the frustration though. It’s flakey as hell when...
  8. Sweetpea76

    General Sufferer so weird around holidays

    Holidays are stressful, loud, and crowded. There are expectations. It’s overwhelming. Also, a lot of combat vets have trauma anniversaries around the holidays. The insurgents loved to mess around on Christian holidays.
  9. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Betrayed by my sufferer husband

    If he’s adult enough to go out and womanize, he’s adult enough to care for himself. You don’t have to be a martyr just because he has PTSD. It’s too hard to be a supporter, don’t be one stuck in a horrible marriage from guilt. You’re not his mother, you’re the wife he cheated on. Let one of...
  10. Sweetpea76

    General Rant and complain thread open to all supporters

    I meant 2021… but so far not a great start to 2022 💩
  11. Sweetpea76

    General Rant and complain thread open to all supporters

    This whole year can f*ck right off.
  12. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Supporters: self-care advise

    We’ve been on local travel and restaurant Facebook pages looking for cool hole in the wall places to eat or goofy things to see. We’ve driven a few hours for the “best wings in the state” and whatnot. Think “world’s biggest ball of twine”… usually those things are free/cheap and not crowded at all.
  13. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Supporters: self-care advise

    Good question… because the burnout is real. Especially during the holidays, and especially this year with the Covid suck. Mine is an isolator… when he’s hunkered down and being an ass I go do fun, loud, crowded stuff with my friends. Things that he won’t do with me, but that I enjoy.
  14. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Please help. My boyfriend is isolating from me

    That brings up a good point too… It’s not always trivial either. Just because they have PTSD doesn’t mean they get a free pass to hurt your feelings. Sometimes that stuff hurts and it’s valid hurt. It’s a learning curve. Not sweating the the small stuff is different than codependency or being...
  15. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Please help. My boyfriend is isolating from me

    In your mind the relationship is a priority. In his, he’s just trying to get by. We use a few analogies to explain this to newer supporters. Imagine he’s out in the middle of a river swimming against the current in rapids. His head is barely above water and he’s furiously trying not to drown...
  16. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Please help. My boyfriend is isolating from me

    What he is doing isn’t isolating. Isolating is when they disappear all together. What it sounds like is that you’re finally starting to see some real PTSD symptoms, and it’s freaking you out. In turn he’s feeding off your anxiety. It sounds like you’re still in a fairly new relationship. You...
  17. Sweetpea76

    General Can I be my friends trigger?

    If you don’t know if she has a PTSD diagnosis, don’t assume she has PTSD. Seeing you get fired would not be enough to give her PTSD. There are a million reasons why she isn’t responding to you. I’d say the first reason is that your persistence is very off-putting, especially if she has anxiety...
  18. Sweetpea76

    General "Loving Someone with PTSD" : is this book useful in any manner

    I’m not familiar with that one in particular, but a GREAT supporter book is The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy by Diane England. That’s the old school go-to we recommend to new supporters when they ask about books. It’s...
  19. Sweetpea76

    Should I have stayed?

    At least you found out you weren’t compatible before moving. Consider it a win.
  20. Sweetpea76

    Relationship GF of 2.5 years has CPTSD and I triggered her

    This is exactly the time to set a boundary. She isn’t made of glass, and she’s dishing it out with no problem. You need to nip it in the bud now. If she cannot respect your boundary, then she isn’t healthy enough for a relationship. Stop apologizing for something you didn’t do. Stop excusing...
  21. Sweetpea76

    Relationship GF of 2.5 years has CPTSD and I triggered her

    You’re allowed to be angry. She has responsibility in all this too. Even if she has PTSD it doesn’t excuse passive aggressive behavior.
  22. Sweetpea76

    Relationship GF of 2.5 years has CPTSD and I triggered her

    Nobody thinks that. You literally did nothing wrong. If she thinks that, she isn’t healthy enough for a relationship. If she is responding, keep doing what you’re doing… Space and time to get over herself.
  23. Sweetpea76

    Relationship GF of 2.5 years has CPTSD and I triggered her

    Welcome to the forum. Walking on eggshells should be the official sport of PTSD supporters… Or walking through a field of rakes blindfolded. *BLAM* right in the face. All you can do is wait it out and give her space. However you need to stop taking the blame for her mental health. You did...
  24. Sweetpea76

    Relationship It hasn’t been a fairytale in a long time

    Wow… that’s a lot to unpack. I know how hard it is to be a supporter when you have your own anxiety/panic issues. Have you sought help for yourself? That’s probably the best place to start, because you have zero control over anybody but yourself. You have to make sure you are in a good place...
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