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    Am I Just Avoiding or Is This Legit?

    So, I wanted to go back to get my Master's Degree. I applied and was accepted at University A. I'm supposed to start next week. It's a distance programme, but I have to go for 3 weeks 3 times a year. It's about 5 hours away from home. I haven't paid yet. While I was waiting, I lost the...
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    Just when I think I am fine… Shocked by getting triggered, and my reaction to being triggered.

    I was on this forum quite regularly about 11-13 years ago before I got married and moved to Zambia. Most of the time, I am OK. But then, suddenly I can be triggered and that shocks me. Case in point--Last Sunday, my husband, his daughter and our granddaughter were together in the car. A drunk...
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    I'm Still Here!

    Hi my friends from long ago. I just got a reminder about the forum. I'm fine here in Zambia. So much has happened. "Our" daughter got married in August. In my mind, there are no " " around the our, but since I just got married a bit more than 3 years ago, the "our" is there in everyone else's...
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    Trying To Plan Our Wedding-- Stress

    In my head, I know that even good stress is still stress. Sometimes, though I thought that I was/am "fine" after my PTSD from my gang rape/pregnancy/miscarriage. I'm struggling to decide things. I feel so alone--because Stephen is so far away in Africa. I need to have everything planned before...
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    Stephen And Beth

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    Happy Anniversary To Me (And S Africa)

    Today is a good anniversary! 15 years ago today, my plane landed in Johannesburg (and later Cape Town) S Africa! I've survived (and mostly enjoyed) being here these 15 years. When I came, I knew 1 person (my boss) here. Now, I have many friends. When I came, I was waiting for a work permit to...
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    Thanks For Chat And People Using It

    Thank you so much for the ability to chat. Last night, I was very freaked out here alone at our campsite 4km down a very muddy gravel road in S Africa. The people who were renting the campsite were supposed to come at 7pm. By 8pm, it was very dark and the only cell phone number I had for them...
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    Break-In Next Door Last Night! Scared!

    I'm so tired and shaky inside. Sorry that I'm posting this in my diary and general chat so that I can get more imput/encouragement/ideas than if it were just in my diary alone. Last night, at 2.42, something woke me up (the police think that it must have been the sound of breaking glass)...
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    Riding An Elephant And Caring For Them

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    I Think And Hope I'm Back!

    Hi all! :hello: Wow! I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I could access the forum site. Thanks for all who posted to my diary and/or just missed me silently. I'll update things bit by bit--a lot has happened in these 3 weeks--I've gone on holiday (vacation) with my friend who has cancer...
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    "Matched" With A Lying Scum--My Friend's Ex-Fiance

    Maybe I am crazy..., but I'm on eHarmony to try to find someone. Believe it or not, there are just not that many single or widowed or divorced nice Christian guys in this world that would consider a 40yo average build never married American who likes living in Africa. Anyway, I've been on it for...
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    Poll Are You The Firstborn, Middle or Lastborn Child?

    In reading many of the diaries, I think that many of us are middle children. I wonder if that has anything to do with PTSD. Maybe we always had to fend for ourselves? I am the middle child-- older brother 2 1/2 years older than me, miscarriage/stillbirth at 7 months, ME, younger sister 2...
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    Heartbroken! Friend, Co-Worker, "Sister" Died

    Sorry. I just heard that my friend, co-worker and "sister" died. Vivien was very special to me. Since we are the same age, we decided that we were twins--one American and one Zambian. I don't know about the funeral.
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    Living In A Country When PTSD Is So Common, But Unrecognised

    After reading about the town in PA where so many people were affected by the helicopter crash, I started thinking about my adopted country (15 years ago) of South Africa. About 2 years after my rape, I took training and starting working as a rape crisis counsellor here. (I know it was stupid...
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    Hi Thought I was OK Triggers Freaking Me Out

    Hi From reading other threads, it seems like you will understand even if no one around me does. Right now men are working on the outside windows on my 3rd floor flat. I can't run away because in this country, they will break in and steal so quick. I'd come back to an empty flat. The reason this...