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    Going Ghost & Hypervigilance

    Yes...this makes a lot of sense. I actually don't want more contact, but feel obligated to still maintain contact/say yes to things I don't want to do because they are family that doesn't overtly abuse me, but they make no effort to see me which makes me feel like they don't care and I...
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    How do others respond to support?

    Yes absolutely, I more-so was saying that I can see how he may have felt like I was shutting him out and I can see how that can contribute to a lack of intimacy...like pushing away love because I was scared. It just caused me to have more awareness about my part in relationships because if I do...
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    How do others respond to support?

    I relate to this so much. I actually had a past boyfriend that was offering to help me out with something and I was like "no I got it" and he got really angry. It was actually our worst fight. That's always stuck with me. It was a powerful message to me that refusing support from someone that is...
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    Feeling like I will never have a healthy romantic partner...stories from the otherside?

    Not at all. That's exactly what I was hoping to hear tbh, because even though people say "anything is possible" it's somedays hard to maintain that belief within yourself when you don't see many examples of it. Sharing your story demonstrates that it is actually possible. That reassurance that...
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    Sufferer Suffering from GAD, MDD, PTSD, Bipolar 2, BPD, Drug Addiction

    Hi @sadchick welcome! I think it's amazing that you haven't given up on yourself and you're working through the misery. It definitely sucks and I can relate. The fact that you're not giving up is inspiring. Glad you are here and hope you find this space a positive support on your journey.
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    Feeling like I will never have a healthy romantic partner...stories from the otherside?

    This is so beautiful and gives me hope. I feel you girl. Claiming a loving and healthy relationship for both of us!
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    Realizations - Overcoming fear of imperfection

    Hi all, Last night I went to a support group and I was really inspired by the other members sharing their experiences so candidly. It made me have some realizations maybe others can relate to...I feel like I've been trying to get things so perfect...how I treat people, what I say, how I act...
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    Going Ghost & Hypervigilance

    yes - I do see both of your points. I realized partly what got me to this point is not speaking up/setting boundaries early on in the relationships and then just overextending myself to where I feel like explaining myself is more trouble than it's worth/will negatively affect my emotional/mental...
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    Going Ghost & Hypervigilance

    😂😂haha pretty much
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    Gaslighting yourself.

    Yes - it's like I'm learning a new language lol. I really appreciate these spaces for that reason. It's fascinating how traumatic relationships seem to put these blinders on and hearing how others relate in their lives it's like a wow, a whole new world! I really appreciate your insight.
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    Going Ghost & Hypervigilance

    How do you guys feel about going ghost on toxic peeps? I have been evaluating my role in dysfunctional relationships and perhaps it's an act of hypervigilance, but genuinely curious to hear others' thoughts. I'll give an example, two girls I had started to become friends with, well I pretty...
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    Gaslighting yourself.

    This...me too...but funny how the ones that imprinted this belief have the most conditional love ever and are the most judgemental. Wow, I actually never thought about it like this. I like this because it reminds me of my accountability to myself. Like having the courage to set them isn't a...
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    Feeling like I will never have a healthy romantic partner...stories from the otherside?

    Hello everyone, Has anyone felt that they will not find a healthy romantic partner? I have a dysfunctional family and I have worked so hard to end the cycle of dysfunction by continuing to work on myself, my behaviors and make amendments to my boundaries/relationships with said family members...
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    Am I to blame?

    I currently have been asking myself the same questions. I can say with certainty that you are never to blame for any sort of physical abuse or people's inability to emotionally regulate themselves. As far as attracting the same people and wondering if you're the common denominator. I can only...
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    There has to be a name for this...

    How I perceive this is like a response to life after the trauma is over...feeling guilty over having feelings we perceive as negative. In my own experience it's reminds me of a time when I was feeling like I didn't deserve to want more for myself...basically just surviving. Like "I've overcome...
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    Toxic core beliefs

    I feel like it's because they are so layered and enmeshed with how we've learned to relate to others...Often it seems these toxic core beliefs were purposely instilled to serve others' self-serving agenda and so it got us some validation/attention and became an identity we feel like we're losing...
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    Gaslighting yourself.

    I thought I had overcome my familial relationship issues and set the proper boundaries for myself. But it seems this is a process that needs reevaluation on an ongoing basis. This lightbulb moment started. This weekend I discovered that a family member disclosed information (that he agreed not...
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    Undiagnosed Newbie - learning/growing working through dysfunctional family dynamics/going no contact.

    Hello all, I'm happy to be here. I have a history of multi-faceted parental abuse with emotionally abusive/neglect/religious undertones and working through the ways its effects have shown up in my life... contributed to my behavior patterns....unlearning unsupportive habits and learning how to...
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