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  1. Hopefully

    My first appointment

    It is a difficult balance, I think when you have complex and lifelong traumas obviously 12 weeks of CBT is not going be the cure all, however it can still help. At the end of the 16 sessions I had, I still felt little change but reflecting back on it now after a few years I can see that there...
  2. Hopefully

    My first appointment

    Hi @SunsetDawn83, it sounds like you are in the UK is that right? The NHS services that are offered through IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) are short term interventions, on the whole these are the services you can self refer to. They tend to not be able to support with cPTSD...
  3. Hopefully

    Healthy Minds

    I accessed a similar service in my area. It was really helpful and a great starting point to understanding better what is going on for you and implementing some coping and regulation skills. The assessment isn't too intrusive, they will just be wanting to get a sense of what things are like...
  4. Hopefully

    Childhood Struggling with intimacy due to incestual COCSA, family childhood trauma

    Hi @z3phyr, welcome! I had similar experiences with an older brother and similar issues as a result. For me the more I process and accept what happened the less it impacts on my relationship now. If possible, as with other intrusive thoughts or images, try to let them pass by without getting...
  5. Hopefully

    Slowly getting there - Any insight on what happens next in UK after GP referral?

    May well be worth researching your local Talking Therapies option and self refer. It is most likely this is what the GP would do or suggest you do. You could do that and still keep the GP appointment but it could save you some more weeks waiting. As @barefoot says see what resources they offer...
  6. Hopefully

    Slowly getting there - Any insight on what happens next in UK after GP referral?

    I think this is a really common response, it feels like it is a way of trying to feel in control and of protecting yourself. I am sure the call with the GP will go well, let us know how you get on. Often it isn’t about what specific box you are ticking (anxiety/depression/ptsd) it is more...
  7. Hopefully

    Slowly getting there - Any insight on what happens next in UK after GP referral?

    It is great you have reached out to your GP. What happens nexts seems to vary from place to place but your GP should be able to refer you on and advise on next steps. Most IAPT (Improving Access to Phycological Therapies) services offer self referral as well so you don’t need to go through your...
  8. Hopefully

    Stuckness in Therapy

    Thank you for this, it feels very true and also very much inline with why we are doing. Although T asks what she can do to help she also tells me I have to lead the way and that she can’t drag me through this. I believe she is navigating this carefully. I also think you are right in that I...
  9. Hopefully

    Stuckness in Therapy

    Thank you @Tinyflame. Lots of really helpful things to think on there. I think I am learning how deeply effected I feel which feels like a lot to unravel.
  10. Hopefully

    Stuckness in Therapy

    Thank you @berlinda I would like to find a way to write things down with her. It is something I have done in the past but can’t seem to get to fit with this T. @Tinyflame, yes that all really resonates and maybe why it has been hard it the past as when I did disclose in T it wasn’t really met...
  11. Hopefully

    Stuckness in Therapy

    It felt like we were starting small. She was asking how those close to me would describe me. I explained that there was no way to know for sure what people really think. She tried to reassure me that it didn’t need to be ‘right’ but I just could go there. It’s too hard to imagine that people...
  12. Hopefully

    Stuckness in Therapy

    I have been in various types of therapy for a number of years for childhood trauma and have been with my current T since the beginning of the year. I like her a lot, she has a very gentle and understanding approach. Last week was a particularly difficult session where we talked as we nearly...
  13. Hopefully

    Does anyone find hearing/seeing their own name difficult?

    It really interesting to see the replies to this and reassuring to feel it is a common feeling. Those closest to me now tend to call me by a shortened version on my name, it isn’t something my family have ever called me and I like it, it feels like adult me, one away from the place I grew up...
  14. Hopefully

    Does anyone find hearing/seeing their own name difficult?

    Thank you all for the responses. It is definitely something that feels worse when other anxiety symptoms are high. I think the main feeling is a type of embarrassment. I guess another quirk!
  15. Hopefully

    Does anyone find hearing/seeing their own name difficult?

    Does anyone find their name difficult? I find it really uncomfortable when people use my name when talking to me and I often also feel embarrassed when having to introduce myself with my name, it doesn’t really feel like me or all of me. I know it is my name, I don’t dislike it but it just...
  16. Hopefully

    Alternative to conventional talking therapies?

    I have found doing some body work is really complimentary to talking therapy. At the moment I am doing a combination of yoga and TRE (trauma release exercises). For me finding a way to soothe my nervous system and to improve the connection with my body make me feel calmer and this in turn makes...
  17. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    Hi @AliciaEff, the more I am seeing her the more I feel she is trying to show me how it is ok to react. I have coped by being very dismissive of my own emotions and by minimising what happened, I think she is trying to display it is ok to feel affected by it. We talked yesterday about her...
  18. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    @hithere, I certainly worry about abandonment, the sessions are limited in number so it is hard to get close when you know it's temporary although saying this I have worked in this way before and still managed to make progress, so I also shouldn't just dismiss it. Having been disbelieved as a...
  19. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    It's not been my experience with other T's but that doesn't necessarily mean it was wrong that she is like that, but I do want to be cautious. What she read this week were some of my more vivid memories, they were very short, often 1 or 2 words but it would have given her a good sense of what...
  20. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    Thank you for all the responses, it is really appreciated. I know I need to push harder, I know I need to be more open. I know next week she is going to ask me about the things I wrote and I am going to really have to try and stay engaged, I want to, I want to be able to find the words. These...
  21. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    It was a stronger reaction to last time but maybe to say she cried is too much, it was probably more of a sob for a couple of breathes and then she composed herself and got a tissue. I think more than anything it makes me feel uncomfortable because I so strongly avoid feeling that way, I don’t...
  22. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    As an update on this I'm not sure if things have improved. The last time I saw her she cried, she had to reach for a tissue and take a deep breath. It doesn't feel completely wrong but it certainly feels odd. She said, as she did before, she feels differently with different clients and she is an...
  23. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    Thank you @AnnaW, it is really insightful to hear things from the other side. I really appreciate your thoughts. I completely agree and it is the advice I would give to anyone else, we all should always be as open and honest as we can be. However (isn't there always a however!) it is so hard...
  24. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    Thank you @Scarlet13, I really relate to what you say. My first thought was also that this is wrong, but having thought more on it I think it is ok. She didn't make a big deal of it, it felt just like an observation. I'm hoping it will benefit me to see these reactions, that I can open out...
  25. Hopefully

    Emotion from therapist

    I think that would be really hard for me to hear, harder than her showing some emotion. I know they are saying that it doesn't mean they don't care but that bit comes a bit late, I wouldn't hear that, I would just hear the first part. All T's and all of us are different, I can't say what is...
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