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  1. BlueWeepingRose

    Relationship Anxiety and Triggers

    I tried to start a new relationship. Everything was going great between both of us, he wanted a serious relationship and I wanted the same thing. We we're together for a few months even. I think I may have trusted him too much though because he ended up breaking up with me, and I didn't see this...
  2. BlueWeepingRose

    Nervous tremors

    Ever since I got of my abusive relationship a few years ago, I noticed I get lots of tremors, especially with my legs. My legs will constantly shake up and down, until my Mom tells me to stop or someone mentions it to me. My brother has noticed it through the process of my healing. It's gotten...
  3. BlueWeepingRose

    Depression and Isolation

    This is a symptom that I've been feeling for a very long time now. Depressed and isolating myself from the outside world. Because I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore, I have no idea who to trust or know who's okay to talk too. Survivor of Domestic Violence and he did so much to me, that I'm...
  4. BlueWeepingRose

    Trust Issues and Anger

    I have such a hard time trusting people. It's as if I am always looking for triggers and thinking the person is going to do me hard. Sometimes when I think something bad is gonna happen, I can feel myself slipping away and dissociating. Pretty soon I am angry, moody, and assume the absolute...
  5. BlueWeepingRose

    My thoughts on my Family

    I'm getting a therapist soon, I'm relieved about this. I told my Mom about it for the longest time and she sort of downplayed everything. Does anyone else feel more alone when they're around family? I feel misunderstood around my family due to my abuse. They all want me to simply get over it...
  6. BlueWeepingRose

    I feel dead inside

    I feel like I am already dead, I know this sounds dramatic but it's how I feel. I'm always in pain, crying, feeling alone, having panic attacks, and looking over my shoulder. No longer feel safe and don't know who to trust anymore. I keep blaming myself for being raped and feeling stupid for...
  7. BlueWeepingRose

    Panic Attacks happening more

    I noticed my Panic Attacks are increasing. I'm healing and I know I am getting better, now Panic Attacks are happening. No longer feel numb, which is good, I felt numb for almost two years after being raped. Now I am feeling panic attacks, so I think I may have to start to meditate more...
  8. BlueWeepingRose

    Grinding my Teeth

    Due to me getting abused by my ex boyfriend, I've been grinding my teeth a lot. I don't even realize that I'm doing it. My niece has been staying over here ever since she was younger and has woken me up and told me that I've been grinding my teeth a lot. Told my Mom that I need a sleep guard...
  9. BlueWeepingRose

    Dom Violence I am picking up on my triggers

    Lately I'm beginning to pick up on my triggers. Most of it has to do relating with my ex and the things he loved to do to me. I remember as I was with him, he would always put his hand on my butt, all the time. It became almost bothersome after awhile because he would be right near me, like...
  10. BlueWeepingRose

    Sexual Assault Anniversary is coming up

    I never had an Anniversary come up before. Especially where I knew what it was about. This is the first time that it's happened to me. It's all relating to what happened to me, rape by my ex. Remember everything so clearly and I remember sitting down listening to music and I remember my heart...
  11. BlueWeepingRose

    Will I ever be able to feel safe again?

    I want to be able to feel safe again, for me it's scary. My ex was a Narcissist. I know not everyone is like this, but sometimes I overthink too much and constantly feel fear, not able to know who to trust. There's some days where I feel okay. Than I get triggered by words and I cry and panic...
  12. BlueWeepingRose

    Dom Violence I had a trigger this week, it confused me...

    I was talking to one of my brother's friends on the phone. He's been comforting me about my brother's death for awhile. Only he did something that triggered me. My ex always acted hot and cold towards me, I was noticing it with my brother's friend. My mind gets confused sometimes, especially...
  13. BlueWeepingRose

    PTSD and Anxiety

    Anxiety will randomly come to me at the most random times, I have no idea where it comes from either. If people asked me what am I so nervous aboout... I literally have no idea why. My body will just shake and I keep myself guarded. There's times where I sort of sit very close together and keep...
  14. BlueWeepingRose

    Horror Movies and PTSD

    Many people wouldn't watch horror movies. For me Horror Movies help me. This may sound strange to everyone. For me, it's an escape. I can watch something where it takes my mind off of things. None of it triggers me which scares me, but I always feel relief watching them because I sort of can...
  15. BlueWeepingRose

    Sexual Assault I feel like I'm in a dark hole

    My life is forever changed, I don't feel like the same person anymore. I have a hard time trusting people. There's many men who I feel attracted too, but when we get close, I freak out and flashback's start coming. There's also been times where I will shake, break down crying and I feel like I'm...
  16. BlueWeepingRose

    Feeling lonely this year...

    I'm feeling very lonely this year. So many things is happening. After the death of my brother, I'm unable to feel happy and my PTSD has gotten worse due to his death. My mood swings are all over the place, I'm either happy or sad, there's no in between. Today is a good day, tomorrow I can be...
  17. BlueWeepingRose

    Relationship with niece is changing

    Ever since my brother has been gone, my niece has been avoiding me. I miss my brother very much and been crying a lot. I'm constantly worrying about her and hoping she's okay. Now I feel like our relationship has changed because the death of my brother. She's very distant and not very friendly...
  18. BlueWeepingRose

    Death Loss of my brother

    My body has been shaking and I've been having lots of anxiety since I found out about the death of my older brother. There's times where I've been dissociating and I feel like I'm in a dream state. I feel like this is all a big dream. My older brother committed suicide on the 27th of this month...
  19. BlueWeepingRose

    I avoid sex

    I avoid sex. I know this is too much info, but once I masturbated and I cried afterwards. Than my whole body started shaking. So now I try to avoid sex or masturbating. There's guys I like or who I'm attracted too but I'm scared that they'll use me as a sexual object or rape me. I'm scared of...
  20. BlueWeepingRose

    My feelings about love

    I love pizza. I love movies. I love music. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my hobbies and interests. When it comes to falling in love, I have a hard time. Even when it comes to sexual things. Ever since I was raped, things just seem sort of distorted and I'm not able to get close to...
  21. BlueWeepingRose

    I feel like it's all my fault

    My ex abused me and rape me. I feel like it's all my fault. I feel like nobody else will ever love me. That I will continue to be sad. Guys only want me for sex and nothing more. I'm single now. I can't be used, because my ex used me constantly. For sex. I felt like I was his sex object and I...
  22. BlueWeepingRose

    Depressed today... I can't cope.

    Today I'm feeling so alone. Tears are coming down my face. My parents are not emotionally supportive of me and I can't talk to people about what I've been through because I'm afraid it's too much. I'm seeing a therapist and I don't see my T until next week. I got triggered by a movie I was...
  23. BlueWeepingRose

    When you start to feel emotions

    I've been numb for about two years now. Just feeling numb and not feeling anything. There's still times where I can't feel anything. It scares me and makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Than when you start to feel something, it's something you're not used too. You're used to feeling...
  24. BlueWeepingRose

    Other PMS and other symptoms

    PMS is affecting my health along with me having PTSD. I'm having stomach aches, anxiety, mood swings, stress, IBS and feeling sick. I try to feel better by relaxing and taking it easy. I get triggered easily by this time and hate the way I feel bloated and been eating less than normal. Also...
  25. BlueWeepingRose

    Anxiety when it comes to New Relationships

    I'm having a lot of anxiety as of lately. I haven't felt anything in a very long time. I left my abusive ex-boyfriend, I haven't felt anything or dated anyone. Just felt numb. Recently, I met someone who I connect with and he truly understands me. My body has been full of anxiety since than...
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