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  1. Astrid_Shadow

    I Had A Slip Up

    Hey guys. It has not been one of my better nights. My mom and I got into it tonight about how I don't appreciate her enough and now shes not sure about bringing me to court on Saturday. Its an 8 hour trip so her company would have been appreciated. I have been having the hardest time showing...
  2. Astrid_Shadow

    I'm So Disappointed

    Hey guys so as most of you should be aware I'm back in adult high school and have been for at least a month. I started falling for this guy in my literacy class and then he tells me his secret. He has an std. No one wants me to be with him but I really do. My mom even said "if you kiss him or...
  3. Astrid_Shadow

    Ptsd Worsened. Doctors Are Putting Me On Nabilone

    So with the good comes the bad, my eating disorder may be gone but my ptsd has worsened. My nightmares and flashbacks have gotten so intense one of my doctors is prescribing me Nabilone. Does anyone know the drug Nabilone? If so does it really help with nightmares?
  4. Astrid_Shadow

    ED Great news in regards to my anorexia

    So as most of you are aware I had my consultation at the hospital today. It went great. I found out I no longer have anorexia, I'm still a bit underweight but its nothing too concerning. I've done it. I'm better. Anorexia free. To be considered healthy I had to have a bmi of 20. I am at 19.6 I...
  5. Astrid_Shadow

    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Hey guys. Call me curious but I wanna know. What song are you listening to? Right now I am listening to Take a hint by Victorious
  6. Astrid_Shadow

    Post Your Inspirational Songs Here

    I decided to make this thread for all music lovers. Do you have a song that inspires you? Show us. Link it here. I have a song I want you all to hear, its one of my favorites from Skillet. This song has kept me going. I hope it can help you guys too. Skillet: Feel Invincible (Lyrics)
  7. Astrid_Shadow

    Might be in trouble.. with parenting teacher & courts

    Hey may have said something to my new parenting teacher that I shouldn't have. We met a couple days ago and she was talking about my family court case and since she has a consent form she told me shes gonna be contacting my lawyer to see if I can get access and visitations to see...
  8. Astrid_Shadow

    ED My anorexia is getting worse

    I thought for once I was winning in my battle against my eating disorder but I couldn't be more wrong. My body has been rejecting almost everything I eat this week. I can't eat without it going through me. I'm going to see my T today to discuss this but other than that I don't know what to do...
  9. Astrid_Shadow


    I've been on mirtazapine for a while now and all its really done is made me drowsy. Does anyone else know the short and long term affects of being on mirtazapine? I feel like its not doing anything for me anymore.
  10. Astrid_Shadow

    Going Back To Finish High School

    Hey everyone. So I've recently decided I will be going to finish my high school with my mom at an adult education school. I only need 8 credits and then I can graduate I wont deny it I am nervous. Were gonna be in a class with other people. I have social anxiety really bad when it comes to...
  11. Astrid_Shadow

    What do you do when you feel really low?

    Hey guys, just curious to know what you do when you feel at your absolute lowest. I usually listen to music, play video games, chat with my sister. What do you guys do? I'm open to hearing other suggestions and if need be this can be a thread people go to when they need ideas on what to do.
  12. Astrid_Shadow

    Can't Sleep And When I Do The Nightmares Come Back I've noticed my nightmares keep returning so to prevent that I try to stay up until I black out. I know this isn't healthy but I just don't wanna have anymore nightmares. Its almost 1:30 am here and I doubt I'll be going to sleep anytime soon. I'm so scared. I haven't told anyone in my...
  13. Astrid_Shadow

    Death It's The Anniversary Of My Step Fathers Death

    As of midnight tonight its officially the anniversary of my first step fathers death. This man first came into my life in 2010. He was the first person I actually considered as a father figure. He was with my mom when she came to get me back in 2010. I was adopted and I wanted out of that family...
  14. Astrid_Shadow

    I've Been Having The Worst Nightmares Lately.

    Hey guys. Over the past few weeks I've been having these really bad nightmares. I wake up wondering where I am. The dreams involve a hooded man being surrounded by fire. In my dreams I'm chasing this black hooded man trying to catch up to him when we both get surrounded by flames. He points at...
  15. Astrid_Shadow

    I've Fallen Back Into My Depression.

    Hey guys. So with everything thats been going on these days I have fallen back into cutting myself. To those who saw my other post you already have an idea of whats going on. I'm being looked at as a liar and thats something that can't be changed. At least not now. My adoption mother is making...
  16. Astrid_Shadow

    Ptsd: How Does It Affect Your Short Term Memory

    Hi guys. Its been a while since we had a nice long chat so I'm gonna give you guys some more news on whats going on with me. Recently I've been having problems with my memory. I can remember things that happen years ago but stuff that happened involving my child and my ex's family are blank...
  17. Astrid_Shadow

    Really Excited About My Move

    Hey everyone. It's been a while since I actually posted instead of just lurking in the chat. I have so much news I wanna tell you all. As most of you are aware I am currently in court trying to get access to my 4 year old son,Wyatt. I have decided on moving to Timmins, where my son is located. I...
  18. Astrid_Shadow

    Not A Very Happy Thanksgiving

    Hey everyone, its been a while since I posted something but a lot has happened and I really need to get it off my chest. Yesterday I was hanging out alone with my step dad because my mom and sister were out of town for the night. Everything was ok we had big plans for thanksgiving but everything...
  19. Astrid_Shadow

    I've Reached My Breaking Point - I Can't Do This Anymore.

    Hey guys so a lot happened today, I got my court papers and have court dates set for my custody battle with my son. We also had a big family meeting today and I think I completely ruined my relationship with my sister. I told on her because she was doing something illegal with my ex. (It was...
  20. Astrid_Shadow

    I'm Worried I May Be A Narcissist

    I've looked up the symptoms to being a narcissist and I have all the symptoms...but I care for SOME people..does that still make me a narcissist?
  21. Astrid_Shadow

    ED Finally beating my anorexia nervosa

    Hey guys. Its been 8 years I've had anorexia nervosa restricted type. I'm finally beating the sickness. I have been struggling so long the doctors didn't think I'd make it by December. If anyone has any tips on how I can gain weight and keep it, it would be really appreciated. I just...
  22. Astrid_Shadow

    Other I'm Gonna Be Going To Heavy Mtl Next Month And Could Use Some Advice.

    Hey again everyone. In a little more than a month, I'm gonna be going with my step dad to heavy montreal. A lot of heavy metal bands gather in Montreal for a weekend and they have an outdoor concert. I will be there with my step dad and I'm pretty scared because crowds trigger me. I already...
  23. Astrid_Shadow

    Any Advice On How To Deal With Insomnia And Nightmares?

    Hey everyone. These days I just haven't been able to sleep and when I do I have nightmares. Really horrible nightmares about stuff happening to my son, to my family, to myself and even to the world. I've tried medication that could knock me out but I still dream..any advice on how I can stay...
  24. Astrid_Shadow

    Canada day fireworks trigger me

    Hey everyone. As everyone's already aware today is Canada day, which means lots of fireworks. Loud noises trigger me. Any advice on what to do to avoid being triggered? I plan to put my music a bit louder but I dunno if its gonna completely block the sound.
  25. Astrid_Shadow

    Making A Very Hard Choice

    Hey everyone. It's been a while since I've been here. I had a lot going on in my life and still do. I was talking to my mom today and she asked a question and told me to be honest with her. I have been living with my mom for six years now. In 2012 I had a son with my now ex boyfriend. His...