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  1. Wendell_R

    Finished my book

    Congratulations on finishing such a big project!
  2. Wendell_R

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Comfort food: bran flakes, granola, and raisins, with milk and yogurt.
  3. Wendell_R

    Life begins at 51

    Thinking of you today.
  4. Wendell_R

    Started EMDR therapy but haven't done EMDR yet

    Your therapist can tell you exactly what they are required to tell others (which is only a very few things), and what things they won't share. You can tell your therapist that there's something important that you would like to share, but are afraid of consequences if your parents find out.
  5. Wendell_R

    Life begins at 51

    Lots of hugs, @Teasel
  6. Wendell_R

    Started EMDR therapy but haven't done EMDR yet

    Lots of us here have had those experiences of denial and numbness. I know exactly what you mean that you can only feel when you see one of your friends in trouble. And lots of us struggle with admitting how we feel to our therapists. You're not alone. You can print out your post and give it...
  7. Wendell_R

    What does sexual morality mean to you?

    That sure sounds like porn is hurting your relationship, in a very clear way.
  8. Wendell_R

    What does sexual morality mean to you?

    I grew up in an environment that had lots of sex, but no affection, and asking for any closeness was dangerous. Starting when I was around 11, I discovered porn and got hooked. For me, it's an addiction. Independent of its morality, I can't indulge in it without it taking over my life and...
  9. Wendell_R

    The "I Need A Hug" Thread

    Hugs, hugs, & hugs, @Defaultxlove , and for the dog's family, too.
  10. Wendell_R

    DID DID and Psychosis?

    We can imagine why that is frightening, and we wish you healing from that. We have some hallucination-like symptoms that are a little bit similar. Our arm has hurt in the past when some frightened parts came up. We called it a hallucination instead of psychosis because we know what's real...
  11. Wendell_R

    What do you do when you have a body flashback?

    When I was in elementary school, I was told that as a young child I was at a party with my parents. I reached for some peanuts, my father whacked me, the peanut stuck in my throat, and I got pneumonia. Hearing the story, I always had the impression that I was around 4 or so. But there in my...
  12. Wendell_R

    What do you do when you have a body flashback?

    I've experienced something like this, but I experience pain instead of numbness. Early in my trauma therapy, I tried some somatic stress reduction exercises, and just calling attention to awareness of my body sensations was triggering. Trying EMDR with tappers was triggering. Much of my...
  13. Wendell_R

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    Hi, @Njay. For recuperation, I agree with @Freida that rest is really good. What I've found though is that it's helpful to figure out what kind of rest works for you. Sometimes I get brutally tired, but not the kind of tired that gets better with bed rest or just sitting. I figured out...
  14. Wendell_R

    Started EMDR therapy but haven't done EMDR yet

    Hi, @Keefe. I'm sorry that you've had a hard time and that you've lost your old therapist and are being screamed at. That all sounds very hard. It's important during the process that you can tell the therapist how you are doing and that you have some level of trust. I know that I have a lot...
  15. Wendell_R

    The "I Need A Hug" Thread

    More hugs for you, @Teasel
  16. Wendell_R

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Made a cup of Lemon herbal tea and waiting for it to cool off a bit so I don't burn my mouth.
  17. Wendell_R

    General EMDR and lurking darkness

    Sometimes in EMDR I know I'm getting close to something difficult. With my therapist's help, we adjust what we work on, so it's not too overwhelming, but also deep enough that we make progress. Other times, we'll get started on something, and an unexpected wave of feelings comes crashing in...
  18. Wendell_R

    Losing my Mom.

    My mom died when she was 49 and I was 27. At the time, I was in grad school and went to the health center for some counseling. The counselors put together a small group of students who had all lost someone. They made the very important point that back 150 years ago, many people had...
  19. Wendell_R

    Sufferer CPTSD with EMDR therapy - One incident seems to link to several others. Has anyone else found this with EMDR?

    Yes, that's for sure! I never would have guessed how many "onion layers" I have been carrying around. Have you considered doing EMDR virtually? I have been doing it online during COVID and after some initial hiccups have found that it still works for me.
  20. Wendell_R

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Too much Halloween candy, although it was fun sitting outside with our dog and saying hello to the children & neighbors who came by.
  21. Wendell_R

    Sufferer Best Years of My Life

    Good luck on your journey, @wittmegan ! I have found this forum to be a great place to find people who understand my experiences. I agree with @intothelight that you do not need to worry about sharing too much or triggering people here.
  22. Wendell_R

    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Bran cereal, a little granola, some raisins, and milk. Cold cereal is my comfort food (or one of them).
  23. Wendell_R

    Feel “weird” due to not knowing intimacy or being embraced.

    I grew up an a household with lots of sex & no affection. I've made significant progress over the years, but I'm still learning how to combine "trust" and "affection".
  24. Wendell_R

    Am I over reacting? (Dog in therapy)

    This is a very appropriate response, I think. I can understand that fear. But if I was in the same position, I would be angry at my therapist that I have to burn up therapy time dealing with her screw up. I will say, though, that it's been useful for me to express my anger at my therapist in...
  25. Wendell_R

    EMDR protector/helper?

    EMDR was frightening for me--I do have parts and many were terrified. So, we spent quite a bit of time setting up protectors & wise resources. I gathered from my therapist that we weren't doing this from an IFS point of view. There was no sense that the protector was necessarily an...
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