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    Sometimes the amount of self care i require just drives me batty!

    I hear you. And I hope they don't mean it to be as dismissive as it sounds and feels... I'm sorry if my post came across that way.
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    Sometimes the amount of self care i require just drives me batty!

    Oh my goodness. This is so real. I complain about this to all of my health care providers and they look at me like I have two heads. They are seriously confused and ask "isn't a good thing to know what works? Can't we all be glad to have found what actually helps?" They tell me so many people...
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    Pity party vs grief

    When my t broaches the subject of grief (usually when I'm crying big alligator tears and expressing my disgust about having them), I often give her a list of people in my life who have real problems and terrible losses. I tell her how they keep going despite their valid reasons to throw in the...
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    Work and therapy - offered better job with no flexibility in schedule

    I’m in a similar boat with an upcoming intensive 10 week internship this summer. They know my diagnosis and history because of the nature of the work, but I have to decide if it’s safe/wise to ask for accommodations for my therapy and other medical appointments. While I’m still deciding, I found...
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    Being abused as a child vs being abused as an adult

    These distortions cause so much suffering, don't they? I had an awful childhood but have been in a good marriage for 18 years and my adulthood has been fine. It's been so "fine" that I feel like I have no right to whine and complain about ancient history. I berate myself for letting such old...
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    Body work?

    I had to take a break from bodywork because it was bringing up memories and sensations I couldn’t cope with. After a long hiatus, I’m now trying some myofascial and cranial sacral work. The focus right now is on my hips and psoas. It’s emotional and we’re going very slow. I’ve been more open...
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    Trying to change patterns. what is it about me?

    I’ve been around this bush a few times: it happened so many times that there must be something about ME. I must send off a signal about being an easy target. My therapist doesn’t tolerate blaming myself for the choices and actions of others. But once we can peel back that relentless scab, there...
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    Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

    I truly don't understand why you are so kind and patient with me.
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    Gift for t’s office. is this weird?

    That sounds like a sweet and thoughtful gift. My therapist doesn’t accept any gifts of any kind. I wanted to just add her to the pile of teacher/helper/service provider gifts that my kids and I make for the winter holidays and she said no. If she allowed gifts for the shared office, I would...
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    Tapping - eft (emotional freedom technique)

    I’ve tapped on my collarbone to try to anchor back down into my body when I feel triggered. If I can remember to do it, it sometimes works.
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    I haven't slept in my bed

    Oh good. I hope it is helpful for you!
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    I haven't slept in my bed

    Have you read the book “The Sexual Healing Journey?” I’m not suggesting it would fix or solve anything. I found it to be a helpful guide to exploring different kinds of intimacy with my partner and taking things really, really slow. There are still times when I get triggered, but I feel like...
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    Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

    It’s been over 24 hours. I know you always have a good reason and you always get back to me as soon as you can. I’m breathing through it but this is one of those times I really need to know you’re there.
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    Why did you choose the forum name you use?

    My username is a universal truth I hope to learn to believe. I believe it for others, but struggled to accept it for myself. One of my most stubborn negative distortions, based on the traumas, is that I am unlovable and unworthy of love and protection. The truth is hard for me to see when I’m...
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    Distractions during therapy

    What a wise and creative idea! I don’t have intentional distraction items but do have some transitional rituals. I take off my jewelry at the beginning, so that I can put it back on when we are transitioning out. It’s kind of like my “armor” out in the world. Sometimes I take out my prayer beads...
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    How does your t “fix” betrayal?

    I think by being consistently trustworthy and reliable themselves, right? Sometimes the old wounds simply (ha!) have to be named and felt and witnessed. For worry about future betrayals, my therapist reminds me of the skills and capacities I now have to take care of myself—no matter what anyone...
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    Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

    You speak to me so slowly and calmly when I’m weeping and hyperventilating. I hate it. And it also works every single time. And you don’t tell me my feelings are stupid or make me feel like I shouldn’t have bothered you. Before we talk, I feel like a fragile, blubbering idiot. After we talk, I...
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    Does your t start late?

    I’ve been reading this thread with interest. I think before my therapist got to know me, she would run a few minutes over on both ends. I remember asking her how she managed to transition so quickly between clients. As we’ve moved forward and delved into more processing, I now realize it’s been...
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    Staying present

    Oh yes. It’s a challenge. My therapist says as things from the past get properly processed and filed, then they take up less mental clutter and it becomes easier to stay in the present moment. Exercise, baths, essential oils, cooking and body work help me. Sometimes exercise and body work bring...
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    When your therapist touches you.

    My therapist does not touch me and sometimes it feels so obvious that’s she’s consciously not touching me, you know? I can remember what was basically one instance of touching (after our initial introductory handshake). I was having a very tough session and we were trying to ground and...
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    Not answering emails

    So glad to hear you talked it over with her and felt reassured. I received an email reply from my therapist the other day that simply said “thank you for sharing this with me; looking forward to talking about it with you.” She’s busy and traveling but she knows me all too well!
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    Trust and self sabotage

    I hope you make it to your appointment and feel safe talking about what’s really going on for you. It’s real and valid. It probably has nothing to do with your therapist, thought something she may have done or said could have been a trigger. I hope this will be an experience of safety for you!
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    Not answering emails

    Oh, I’ve so been there. Last summer my therapist didn’t respond to emails and then she didn’t respond to texts and then I called and she hung up! I thought it was the end of our relationship and my ability to trust anyone other than my husband ever again! Well, she was out of the country with...
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    Spending money on therapy?

    Yes! I was going to say the same thing about money being a form of energy. And, Scarlett13, you already understand how important safe boundaries are for us. Therapists are not in this work for the money. Try to let yourself receive her care and regard. You are worthy.
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    Spending money on therapy?

    My therapist is disenchanted with insurance too, but she has applied to be an “authorized non-network” provider for me. We are waiting to see if this goes through so that I will be able to get reimbursed for about half of her session fee. The application was ridiculous, but this will hopefully...