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  1. Sweetpea76

    Help Please I’m eroding away from partner’s PTSD

    You had only been with her for a month before things went downhill? That’s a big red flag that she isn’t healthy enough for a relationship. If she is breaking up with you your love is not something she wants. Ummm… to be healed? Break ups suck because it only takes one party to the...
  2. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Ghosted and confused

    I’m sorry you had to go through this. Besides the broken heart, it is very confusing. You didn’t trigger him. He was triggered. Don’t take on any responsibility for that. It’s awesome you were able to make that peace with yourself. It takes people years to get to that point, if they ever do!
  3. Sweetpea76

    Relationship The next step

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. A partner who is stubbornly resistant to treatment and/or untreated PTSD in the household is horrid, and being on suicide watch is hell on earth. You’re allowed to be frustrated and angry at him. I know the guilt is real… you’re the healthy one and he is ill...
  4. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Girlfriend ptsd broke up with me after 6 years. Need some advice

    Sometimes they’re just not healthy enough for a relationship. Love has nothing to do with it. She can love you and still not be able to be with you.
  5. Sweetpea76

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    If you need more contact in a relationship then that is valid. He cannot give you what you need, and he’s not the man for you. Being with a PTSD sufferer is not for everyone. I think a lot of long term supporters are types who enjoy their own personal space as well, because isolation comes...
  6. Sweetpea76

    Relationship My girlfriend has PTSD pushing me away.. decided to break up. Will she come back?

    If she doesn’t want to see or talk to you I’d move on.
  7. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Sudden break up after suppressing trauma

    I wouldn’t assume he has PTSD until he is diagnosed. PTSD is from a very specific kind of trauma, and even if something is horrible it doesn’t make it a Crit. A trauma. Even then, not everybody who experiences Crit. A trauma develops PTSD. Which is good news, because PTSD sucks and is difficult...
  8. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Sudden break up after suppressing trauma

    Has he been evaluated and diagnosed?
  9. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Girlfriend is working through trauma

    If you like actions think about this… It would be easier for her mentally to just cut you loose and be alone. She is sticking around in some capacity. That is hard work for an isolator.
  10. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Girlfriend is working through trauma

    You’re going to have to decide if you want to live like this forever, because if this is how she handles stressors she is going to do this over and over again. As far as anxiety goes, this isn’t about you or the relationship. She has PTSD and this is part of it. Once you come to terms with...
  11. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Girlfriend is working through trauma

    It’s not going to make sense to anybody but her. It’s the push/pull. I’d just follow her lead. It also couldn’t hurt to just ask her how much contact or communication she wants.
  12. Sweetpea76

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    My advice? Leave him alone, give him some space. Imagine you are sick with a stomach bug, and you’re vomiting your guts out… and your boyfriend is knocking on the door every 5 minutes expecting you to eat the meal he cooked. It means a lot to him and he worked hard on it. Don’t you love him...
  13. Sweetpea76

    General Rant and complain thread open to all supporters

    It’s the all-around wallowing. I can see that.
  14. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Blackouts? Would heavy drinking + PTSD cause my partner to blackout abuse?

    PTSD doesn’t cause anybody to raise their fists and beat somebody. It’s a broken stress response. How somebody reacts to that stress is a choice. PTSD doesn’t *make* anybody physically abuse, sleep around, lie, steal, or use substances. That’s somebody’s decision.
  15. Sweetpea76

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    They know who they’re talking to… or rather, who they are avoiding. It’s not a delusion, it’s a coping mechanism to avoid stressors. Yeah… I don’t think we’re all talking to the same guy. This is common behavior with PTSD sufferers. Avoiding and isolating is easier than dealing with stressors...
  16. Sweetpea76

    Relationship New to the forum. Looking for advice for supporting my partner

    Honestly, I don’t think I make my vet feel “safe.” There are times when my vet thinks I’m very unsafe just because he loves me and it makes him have actual emotions. I think that “safe” feeling is actually just trust sneaking in there.
  17. Sweetpea76

    Relationship New to the forum. Looking for advice for supporting my partner

    Here’s the thing though… you can’t make her feel safe. She has PTSD, so she is going to feel unsafe regardless. It is a difficult lesson for supporters to learn, but we cannot “help” and we cannot “fix.” You are not going to love her better. She has a mental illness. Attempting to do the...
  18. Sweetpea76

    Relationship New to the forum. Looking for advice for supporting my partner

    You are not responsible for managing her mental health. The sad thing is *everything* you do will be “wrong” when she’s in a state. You are not triggering her, she is being triggered. It’s happening in her head. You are not in charge of managing her stress reactions or triggered behavior.
  19. Sweetpea76

    Relationship Will I be a trigger forever?

    The question is why would *you* want to do this to yourself. If her go-to response when she’s stressed is to call the cops on you, *you* are going to end up in jail. I’ve been with my vet for a decade, and the first time he calls the cops on me is the last time I will grace him with my...
  20. Sweetpea76

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    You’re going to be disappointed if he is still ghosting during your birthday… there is no managing that. That’s an asshole thing to do if you are in a relationship.
  21. Sweetpea76

    General How long? Is it normal to be in a triggered state for months?

    The education you never knew you didn’t want.
  22. Sweetpea76

    General How long? Is it normal to be in a triggered state for months?

    I’m sorry… I know it’s hard. Has she stopped talking divorce?
  23. Sweetpea76

    Relationship My partner has been isolating himself - what is the best way to ask about it?

    It’s not a rule for him, it’s a rule for me. I can’t control anybody but myself. He’s going to do what he’s going to do. I will move on if he ghosts me… and he has no say or input. That’s my boundary, and I’ve communicated that to him. If he wants me to stick around he will respect my boundary.
  24. Sweetpea76

    General How long? Is it normal to be in a triggered state for months?

    Trauma therapy is rough. It makes things worse before it gets better. Getting therapy for yourself is a very good idea, because this is a mindf*ck.
  25. Sweetpea76

    General How long? Is it normal to be in a triggered state for months?

    Hell no… might as punch yourself in the face. I can’t remember, is she treated right now? Or is she off the rails and untreated?
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