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  1. GrayOwl

    Struggling

    I hope you find better ground. That is an unhappy place to be. The human world has a lot of negatives. Maybe there is someone you know who can listen. or share? I find relief sharing with my daughters cat. She has adopted me for the time being. She knew I needed a friend. I spend time...
  2. GrayOwl

    Relationship Please help. Im at a loss - she makes me the target

    For example, an epileptic having an episode, or a psychotic having a violent episode..... Yes. Someone should help them. A trained professional. Not someone who runs in and gets brutalized during the episode. Or after. Again and again. You have a lifetime of training and experience in...
  3. GrayOwl

    Relationship Please help. Im at a loss - she makes me the target

    Things are moving at light speed. That is part of the control that a bully exerts. Chaos and disorder. It keeps you off your feet. It triggers your PTSD. It compels you to react irrationally and often times capitulate to their whims. If her PTSD, or whatever, is flaring - she is not...
  4. GrayOwl

    Relationship Please help. Im at a loss - she makes me the target

    Enabling and complicity w/bad behavior don't seem to have any positive place in recoveries or relationships. You seem to be asking for advice with both. She needs to be willing to seek help. And you should not enable bad behavior or actions. There are certainly many many positive routes. It...
  5. GrayOwl

    Ever Grouped The Things You Find Stressful?

    I put the paperwork in the coke bottle with the mentos, seal it up tightly, turn it in, and let them deal with it. And then my answer is: "I gave it to you. You have it. What'd YOU do with it?" When somebody wants to get the mess off their desk they give me what I need. If it doesn't work...
  6. GrayOwl

    general bad times rant

    Congrats on the place and the possible job. I hope things are still going well. Glad you shared. You had a lot of stressors all at once. I hope the positives continue to come your way.
  7. GrayOwl

    "Peanut butter" & insurance stupidity - searching for a cognitive reframe to reduce flooding

    How ya doin with the peanut butter battle? More to the point: How are YOU with the process? I hope things are well. Owl 🦉
  8. GrayOwl

    Narc mom dying of brain cancer

    Always. Hugs make the world a better place. 😙 Thank you.
  9. GrayOwl

    Narc mom dying of brain cancer

    Thank you R4Me for your words of wisdom and compassion. They are a source of comfort for me and it is nice to hear of the positive outcomes and possibilities. Having experienced "The Killing Fields" I wish not to embark upon a description of the feelings and triggers associated with this. The...
  10. GrayOwl

    Tips for briefing family on what PTSD is

    Unless I've been dragged off a battlefield missing limbs people don't look at me as someone who could have PTSD. Most people think you have to be Lt. Dan off Forrest Gump before you earn "PTSD" recognition. That seems to include my family and friends. Often they seem alarmed or frightened...
  11. GrayOwl

    "Peanut butter" & insurance stupidity - searching for a cognitive reframe to reduce flooding

    Are things better today? I really have to agree with everyone's comments. Awareness of "triggered" - OMG - that is such a huge factor! If I can catch myself as "Trigger Mode" kicks in I can engage so many more tools and defense mechanisms!! Progress. Not perfection. That's all I can do...
  12. GrayOwl

    5 Things I'm Thinking Today

    Welcome to you BLH. Great resources and support here. Please browse. I have found insight, healing and support. I hope you do also.
  13. GrayOwl

    How do you do it?

    Aren't both required? Work on yourself. Work on relationships. Just curious. Isn't there some internal code that needs rewriting? In addition to effort in the relationship department. For me it seems to be both. Sometimes intertwined, sometimes separate. A lot of self honesty. And overcoming...
  14. GrayOwl

    How do you see power, abuse, and abuse of power?

    Power, in the hands of humans, is corruptible. And even that is subject to interpretation. I think that ability, intent, and means are always in flux. It is our perceptions and experiences(and other things) that are required to guide us and keep us safe. The exercise of power is necessary. The...
  15. GrayOwl

    General Rant about the US medical system

    An industry in total dysfunction. Sorry for your distress. Our medical decisions are dictated by politicians seeking campaign funds and trial lawyers trying to get rich. You need feel NO guilt for being angry, venting, OR BENDING the system to your will (If that's even possible). We'll all be...
  16. GrayOwl

    News Doctor-Assisted Death For Those Living With Ptsd

    Well spoken. I can't add much. Each person has to reach in to their own heart and make those decisions as they pertain to themselves and their loved ones. These are decisions that should be well discussed and well known if one is in charge of another persons' life decisions and care. Guilt and...
  17. GrayOwl

    Relationship My ex with CPTSD blamed me for everything, and I am left feeling like I am nothing.

    Keep it simple. It takes practice. It took me lots of practice and counselling. I spent years analyzing it every which way I could. Until I realized. What they meant. Keep it simple. Knowledge and healing come with time. Not always by picking at them incessantly. Be sure to enjoy life life...
  18. GrayOwl

    Friend: "I need your help to live..."

    Are you focusing on taking care of yourself? I see the same emotions playing here that I have when I am "triggered". Have a quiet time. A long one, if needed. Repeat as needed. A deep breath. It is my belief that there is a Power greater than ourselves that is in charge of the world...
  19. GrayOwl

    Relationship How to get through to him?

    Welcome. PTSD is very painful. And very REAL. I can't add much to the knowledge or wisdom already expressed. I will sure agree distancing is a critical survival tool and very painful to experience. I commend you on your path toward learning and healing. As painful as it may be to do and...
  20. GrayOwl

    Work trouble

    Sending serenity & hope. Comfort for the kittens. And encouragement for yourself. Things will work out. J
  21. GrayOwl

    Work trouble

    I stopped in Henderson tonight. Off through Nashville tomorrow and on toward Orlando. I love the rolling hills and open spaces parts of Kentucky, which is pretty much all of it. I guess that puts me in the west end. It is a beautiful place. A lot of wisconsin is quite similar - except for...
  22. GrayOwl

    Work trouble

    They do. More than you know! Sometimes there is no cure for insomnia. Unless you know of any? Not much works here when the mind is racing. I have a long drive tomorrow for work. Kentucky tomorrow. Then to Florida and home on Monday. Posting tonight has been nice and I think I'll try for...
  23. GrayOwl

    2D vs 3D World - What do you do in 3D?

    Irony. I completed 5 weeks of home recovery just as the world went in to isolation. When the world was instructed to "isolate", I was told I could go back to work. At that time I became one of our few employees available for what someone considers essential deliveries. I've spent the last...
  24. GrayOwl

    Work trouble

    I couldn't sleep. Dealing with some anger and depression. I signed in and saw you were online. Thought I'd say "hi". I'm sorry to hear your friends are hurting. I'm not sure what else to say. I know you feel their pain. There is definitely an imbalance of empathy in the world. Some of us seem...
  25. GrayOwl

    Work trouble

    Hi! I started back to work from knee surgery about the time you were departing your job. I've been busy, haven't had time to read and keep up here. I've been wondering how you've been doing with transitions? I hope you are sorting through the emotions and insecurities that change presents...
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