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    Other Locked In A Box -v- Voluntary Bad Living Situations

    enough, I dont think you derailed it, I think what you said is what most of us think but hadn't said. I do think a career can be a form of bandage. When it doesn't feel like there is much choice, that feels like a form of bondage.Im very sorry if my post made you think differently. I only meant...
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    Other Locked In A Box -v- Voluntary Bad Living Situations

    enough, I think we have all had to make a choice and pick the lesser of 2 evils, I know I have felt that at times. No pitiful you, its ok to acknowledge that it SUCKS sometimes. I notice people working in hot sun or wet cold temps outside and wonder how they do that everyday, I dont think I...
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    Other Locked In A Box -v- Voluntary Bad Living Situations

    I sure understand living in a situation, choosing it, against my good sense because it was viewed as not as bad as alternatives, that being a DV situation. Been held against my will, aside from dv situation, only one short time. The hardest to function for me is when I wanted to flee, or the...
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    Other The truth about Panic Disorder

    I have generalized anxiety disorder so there is an uneasiness most of the time. I think that it use to drive me to stay so organized and busy, like a driving force, until almost exhaustion. Likely, this has been most of my life. I only had a panic attack once, when I was away from home and...
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    Episodes of Sobbing, Anger, SI, and Dark Thoughts

    OliveJewel and whiteraven, for me the early childhood stuff wasn't directly related to medical stuff as far as I can tell, but related to lousy caregivers. I am thinking that as adults, we reach out to medical staff because we need help that only they can provide. We are at their mercy. As a...
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    Recovery - A Journey of the Heart - do you feel like part of your mental health concerns have something to do with having had your heart broken?

    shimmerz this is wonderful information. I dont think I have read this authors work before but will seek it out as I could not finish reading all the material. I totally relate to this, the repeated broken heart and the choice of giving up.
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    Episodes of Sobbing, Anger, SI, and Dark Thoughts

    I totally understand your frustration with the medical field. I also understand that stress cup overflowing too. And your reaction. I have reacted similarly to medical mishaps, one particularly with a $500 medication refill. (insurance didnt share how it works unless you ask the right...
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    Abusive Family and Roots of Trauma

    I cant say this is direct trauma, but the rigidity definitely led to it. I moved in with sister and brother in law at age 13, which I do think are very tender years. He was not sexually inappropriate in any way, but knew I had witnessed things that a young fgirl should not have. He was super...
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    December Hell Month for me

    @Freddyt-you are so right. Nobody has to understand, it just is. I am glad that you have accepted this and I am going to work on it too. It just is! @Muttly, thank you for your words of wisdom. Im sorry it still haunts you as well. The body really does remember too. The 16th was the date, just...
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    December Hell Month for me

    Freddyt- yes, expecting and planning helps so much. One of the issues that I have is that I get kind of depressed and sometimes irritable. My husband doesn't understand this much. I sometimes want to isolate, and am more sensitive to things. In the meantime, Im just riding out this wave.
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    December Hell Month for me

    Here I am again. Cannot sleep....til I do....then cant wake. Unfortunately using alcohol to sleep but it keeps me awake-I know better. Stopped at bar tonight and was talking to social worker (Im a retired counselor). He asked me about all my traumas? Why,? hell if I know. dont know if talking...
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    December Hell Month for me

    Weemie I am so sorry for what you have been thru, and it absolutely does change your world view when it is someone such as law enforcement. Seems like I have had years when Dec. wasn't so triggering. This one is not starting out well. For years after the incident, I didnt sleep at night and...
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    December Hell Month for me

    I can't believe it is happening again. I was assaulted by a cop Dec 16, 2008. I am getting along pretty good. I do have issues. I haven't cried in all these years. Also, I have a great deal of empathy for others, but dont express it as I use too. Its like things dont effect me because I am numb...
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    Sufferer Any words of identification and strength would be greatly appreciated

    Awe sweetie, welcome to the forum. I have nothing to really relate to you, but I have bits and pieces and I care. After a childhood with no care, I ended up in a orphanage at age 11. While it was safe at the time, borders on abuse these days.. Went back home to mom, but left within a year to...
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    Physical pain

    When the pain is so great, its not unusual to avoid activity that seems to aggravate it, but when activity is avoided for too long, its easy to become de-conditioned. Brings out depression and anxiety and anything else that is lurking in the mind. Now a trip to the grocery store wears me out.
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    Physical pain

    I have sat back, and am forgotten. Im not complaining. Im just saying that people forget quickly. I doubt if anyone even remembers all that I use to do. My kids say they do. Im just sorry you are going thru this and have to feel this pain. Physical pain is a monster to have with ptsd. Always...
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    Physical pain

    Whiteraven, I hope you are feeling better. In one of your posts you said how you keep pushing thru and working and volunteering and everyone thinks its not that bad, and maybe you should just quit and rest. I seriously dont advise that. I pretty much did that and not having a schedule and...
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    Post covid hypervigilance

    Nevermore-Thank you for letting me know. Im a hanging in there.
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    Post covid hypervigilance

    Initially I felt the panic. Wearing masks and distancing of course, but wiping down groceries and disinfecting everything. I feared covid due to my age and pre existing lung condition. I feel like I have gone thru an entire series of emotions. I don't socialize much and like it that way, but NO...
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    Other Can a concussion make PTSD symptoms worse/more intense?

    My head injury changed so much about me. 1. I had difficulty retrieving the right word I was looking for in a conversation or writing a report. 2. Having always been direct and concise, particularly in answering a question, I had difficulty answering or reporting in chronological order. 3. I...
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    Therapist Banned Me From Talking About My Ex

    Im sorry Eve. Good point artie. When something happens, I tend to ruminate about things and it is very self destructive for me. Very hard to stop.
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    I felt like I was raped all over again :(

    I have to admit that I did not read every word that you post. It was too painful for me. Im 63 and still dont have my shit under control. So I also didn't read others posts because I dint want them to influence me. I am sorry if this hurts anyones feelings. I am so damn critical of myself that...
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    You Know You Have PTSD When...

    You are outraged (more than normal) when old white men decide that women cant have an abortion, even though you are past child bearing years. When you remember what it felt like to be raped by a husband and feared pregnancy even though you were spared that. For the overturned decision to make...
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    Hospital when I'm supposed to be on vacation. So sad & upset .

    Im so sorry. That sucks. Im so glad you caught it before it was worse. Sending hugs and wishing you a speedy recovery. I also agree about the C-diff. Please get it checked
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    Anxious and unhappy with "doing"

    @CoolBreezeonahotday , that is sort of how I feel and what I am saying. I do feel heard but only by very few. Those are the ones I will also push myself for even it I would like to avoid. I know there are good people out there, and I use to like to make new friends. Being older and less energy...