This is probably helping to ’ground’ you (that is, bring you back to the here and now). And yes, Grounding is the number one way to deal with being dissociated.
The good news is there’s lots of ways to ground - including a whole lot that will be much gentler on you than hitting yourself...
I’ve always interpreted fawning to be behaviour directed towards the aggressor. But very definitely, it’s a conflict avoidance strategy.
Which this isn’t. Quite the opposite, it’s a bit like grabbing the conflict (one person’s issues with your dogs), and running through the neighbourhood with...
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Great question. Genuinely. Thread-worthy all on its own. Hells, even being able to identify the emotion was a mammoth process for me.
When I “make space” for an emotion, it starts with trying to identify in my body where it is, and what it feels like. Pause there, because without the...
He wasn’t a professional.
He wasn’t your therapist (I can call myself a Tree all I like, that doesn’t make it so).
He was an acquaintance, likely a well-meaning one, who made a massive error of judgment and hurt you a lot in the process.
To judge professionals by actions of someone who isn’t...
Okay, that makes a lot of sense to me. If a month is too big a gap, what about fortnightly instead? It isn’t meant to be a ‘break’, but rather, leaving a slightly bigger gap between appointments.
For me, I was seeing Ts 5 days a week at one point. I’m now at about once a month. But there...
I’ve had a one T in particular who I ended up having an unhealthy dependence on. For me, the unhealthy dependence was all about the between-appointment distress.
If I need to contact my T between appointments because it may help me manage distress, that’s totally fine for me. If I need to...
Where does that standard come from!?!
I’m in therapy once every 3-4 weeks right now. Which is perfectly normal. It was also perfectly normal when I was in therapy 5 days a week, with 3 different therapists.
There’s no normal therapy. There’s no normal recovery. There’s only what you need...
Is this necessary? If you have an excellent coping strategy in place for dealing with bad dreams, and the strategy doesn’t cause distress or dysfunction (sounds like the opposite), why mess with that?
I have ‘bad dreams’ most nights. The content is nightmarish - if I take the content to...
Ask for a referral, assuming she can’t continue seeing you at the new practice (they very often can). If this T knows you well, she may be the best source of someone else who would be suited to your therapy goals.
Good for you! I know you feel like shit right now, but this was an awesome achievement.
Ptsd is a bitch to deal with when it comes to our abusers. From the outside looking in, it’s a simple case of Abuser = Bad, and the obvious solution is to just move on.
The reality is our brains going...
I became functionally house bound from anxiety for a period of time.
Getting past that involved a lot of distress tolerance - deliberately leaving home, for very short periods (I started with the letterbox and back) over and over.
At the same time, doing everything possible to empty out my...
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I’ll add this to your opening post to give members a clearer picture of what you’d like to discuss.
If you can find a trauma specialist? This doesn’t need to be on the cards anytime soon. Trauma-focused therapies more often focus on the symptoms you’re having now, and how to manage them more effectively. Talking about the reasons why you have those issues can occur whenever you’re ready.
Do you have supports other than your family? If not, that’s probably where I’d start - support services and/or therapists in my area.
If you do have supports beyond family, perhaps lower your expectations of what your support your family can offer. My family? Utterly useless as supports...