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  1. Sideways

    A Turn Away From Dissociation: The Association Thread

  2. Sideways

    Physical reaction to a flashback

    This is probably helping to ’ground’ you (that is, bring you back to the here and now). And yes, Grounding is the number one way to deal with being dissociated. The good news is there’s lots of ways to ground - including a whole lot that will be much gentler on you than hitting yourself...
  3. Sideways

    Seeking/Begging For Validation Beyond What One Expect

    I’ve always interpreted fawning to be behaviour directed towards the aggressor. But very definitely, it’s a conflict avoidance strategy. Which this isn’t. Quite the opposite, it’s a bit like grabbing the conflict (one person’s issues with your dogs), and running through the neighbourhood with...
  4. Sideways

    Sufferer Alone in a crowd of people

    Welcome to the forum. I hope you get to feel a sense of connection here:)
  5. Sideways

    Sexual Assault Incest is real

    Mod Note: @TheNiceGuy23 - I’ve moved this post into its own thread so that people can reply without derailing the thread it was posted in. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to use Contact Us
  6. Sideways

    Sufferer Hello,years of PTSD

    Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry about the shit that’s brought you here. Hopefully this is a good resource for your recovery.
  7. Sideways

    Is it my fault or is the situation just as messed up as it sounds?

    Great question. Genuinely. Thread-worthy all on its own. Hells, even being able to identify the emotion was a mammoth process for me. When I “make space” for an emotion, it starts with trying to identify in my body where it is, and what it feels like. Pause there, because without the...
  8. Sideways

    Is it my fault or is the situation just as messed up as it sounds?

    He wasn’t a professional. He wasn’t your therapist (I can call myself a Tree all I like, that doesn’t make it so). He was an acquaintance, likely a well-meaning one, who made a massive error of judgment and hurt you a lot in the process. To judge professionals by actions of someone who isn’t...
  9. Sideways

    What's the difference between connection with a therapist and dependency on them?

    Okay, that makes a lot of sense to me. If a month is too big a gap, what about fortnightly instead? It isn’t meant to be a ‘break’, but rather, leaving a slightly bigger gap between appointments. For me, I was seeing Ts 5 days a week at one point. I’m now at about once a month. But there...
  10. Sideways

    What's the difference between connection with a therapist and dependency on them?

    What would happen if you had bigger gaps between appointments ?
  11. Sideways

    What's the difference between connection with a therapist and dependency on them?

    I’ve had a one T in particular who I ended up having an unhealthy dependence on. For me, the unhealthy dependence was all about the between-appointment distress. If I need to contact my T between appointments because it may help me manage distress, that’s totally fine for me. If I need to...
  12. Sideways

    Higher frequency therapy

    Where does that standard come from!?! I’m in therapy once every 3-4 weeks right now. Which is perfectly normal. It was also perfectly normal when I was in therapy 5 days a week, with 3 different therapists. There’s no normal therapy. There’s no normal recovery. There’s only what you need...
  13. Sideways

    Sufferer I’m new and need to hear others’ experiences

    Welcome to the forum! Yes, it absolutely does. The treatment and recovery will vary a lot depending on your diagnosis, but it definitely gets better.
  14. Sideways

    Weird realization about my dreams.

    Is this necessary? If you have an excellent coping strategy in place for dealing with bad dreams, and the strategy doesn’t cause distress or dysfunction (sounds like the opposite), why mess with that? I have ‘bad dreams’ most nights. The content is nightmarish - if I take the content to...
  15. Sideways

    Therapist is leaving me

    Ask for a referral, assuming she can’t continue seeing you at the new practice (they very often can). If this T knows you well, she may be the best source of someone else who would be suited to your therapy goals.
  16. Sideways

    i tried to talk with her. again. im so f-ing stupid.

    Good for you! I know you feel like shit right now, but this was an awesome achievement. Ptsd is a bitch to deal with when it comes to our abusers. From the outside looking in, it’s a simple case of Abuser = Bad, and the obvious solution is to just move on. The reality is our brains going...
  17. Sideways

    Sufferer Hoping to connect with others

    Welcome to the forum! Hope this place is a good resource as part of your recovery.
  18. Sideways

    Difficulty leaving house

    I became functionally house bound from anxiety for a period of time. Getting past that involved a lot of distress tolerance - deliberately leaving home, for very short periods (I started with the letterbox and back) over and over. At the same time, doing everything possible to empty out my...
  19. Sideways

    Safety and Recovery - #1 the belief that we are responsible for our trauma - #2 that is was our fault.

    Mod Note: Please drop us a line at Contact Us so we can address the issue with you directly (rather than derailing the thread with a discussion about Copyright). I’ll add this to your opening post to give members a clearer picture of what you’d like to discuss.
  20. Sideways

    DID I think I might have DID

    If you can find a trauma specialist? This doesn’t need to be on the cards anytime soon. Trauma-focused therapies more often focus on the symptoms you’re having now, and how to manage them more effectively. Talking about the reasons why you have those issues can occur whenever you’re ready.
  21. Sideways

    Sufferer Glad to be here - Developmental Trauma & Anxiety

    Welcome to the forum! Hopefully this place is another helpful resource to assist you with your recovery.
  22. Sideways

    Dealing with an unsupportive family

    Do you have supports other than your family? If not, that’s probably where I’d start - support services and/or therapists in my area. If you do have supports beyond family, perhaps lower your expectations of what your support your family can offer. My family? Utterly useless as supports...
  23. Sideways

    Current Weather

    Peak of the heatwave. Keeping dogs cool today.