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Thanks, @Sideways. This resonates. I think I have these moments of "where do I stand?" Like the empathy affects my judgement of my action. Def building that surety in myself I see is key. If I may ask, how do you cope with judging your actions as good or bad? I feel sure in my decision, but at...

Hi Givrali, I just want you to know you are not alone with these types of thoughts. I can relate to the feeling you described above. For me, I find it extremely hard to believe one needs to suffer for anothers' wellbeing, even though sometimes my brain seems to try to tell me that. I feel like...

Interested to hear how others distinguish between love in their hearts and action. This is somewhat related to my last post. Beginning to wonder if my not being able to separate the two is what's contributing to my confusion/guilt...and resentment and I realize resentment hurts me and...

I'm still learning, but for now my modus operandi is that if it's a trigger that has an effect of me wanting to lie in bed for days/neglecting my work responsibilities or self care, etc..than I have to avoid. It's been a learning process...sometimes I don't know how something will affect me...

Thank you for clearing this up. I understand now. It's the reason why I don't talk to my parents. I can understand and have compassion for why they are the way they are, but not talk to them. And I do. If this is the case, my compassion has never wavered for my brother but I just don't like how...

Sure - he is now 29 years old. It's been a decade since his break. No kidding. It's like the curse of all curses seemingly. I hope one day it can be his greatest superpower.

No, thank you for posting. It really helps that someone has direct experience with a family member with this illness. it's really something else and it's hard for me to understand him completely. Hearing about your brother gives me hope and thank you for validating my experience. I really do...

Actually this is very enlightening to me because I didn't think about it this way until now. Isuppose up to this point, I really believed that he knows what he is talking about because he's the one that's living it not me...

what if he's got all three? can you explain this? i don't understand. it's like when i maintain my boundaries with him and help in the ways I can, i feel sane. it allows me to continue having compassion for him, but also sometimes angry because he complains it's not good enough and some people...

Feeling a bit frustrated. I may have mentioned this a bit before. One of my siblings is diagnosed schizoaffective and largely I've seen how much my toxic parents contributed to his condition so it's been hard for me to abandon my support, but he's pretty awful as well. I know he has...

For me I can relate. I blame everything on myself because otherwise it makes me feel like the world is out to get me and I don't like to feel like that. But I've learned to recognize that I can still hold onto that coping mechanism and not absolve people of their personal responsibility For me...

Relate to all of these. I've noticed areas in my life where someone was genuinely giving from a pure place and I projected my paranoia onto it and I see how that can push good people away...ever seen Brittany Runs A Marathon where she rejects the donation her friends give her? kinda like...

Yes, but in this case I feel like it would open the door for more tension/potential drama in the relationship. In this case the path of least resistance is just accepting and seeing if any agenda is exposed but idk. I get that this shouldn't be an element in a healthy relationship but I guess...

So one of the two immediate family members I talk to randomly said they had a gift they wanted to send me. I maintain boundaries with this person because I tbh don't know their real intentions w/me. It's like we've had a cordial enough relationship and a weird familial bond but I don't know...

Yes...this makes a lot of sense. I actually don't want more contact, but feel obligated to still maintain contact/say yes to things I don't want to do because they are family that doesn't overtly abuse me, but they make no effort to see me which makes me feel like they don't care and I...

Yes absolutely, I more-so was saying that I can see how he may have felt like I was shutting him out and I can see how that can contribute to a lack of intimacy...like pushing away love because I was scared. It just caused me to have more awareness about my part in relationships because if I do...

I relate to this so much. I actually had a past boyfriend that was offering to help me out with something and I was like "no I got it" and he got really angry. It was actually our worst fight. That's always stuck with me. It was a powerful message to me that refusing support from someone that is...

Cramps

Not at all. That's exactly what I was hoping to hear tbh, because even though people say "anything is possible" it's somedays hard to maintain that belief within yourself when you don't see many examples of it. Sharing your story demonstrates that it is actually possible. That reassurance that...

Hi @sadchick welcome! I think it's amazing that you haven't given up on yourself and you're working through the misery. It definitely sucks and I can relate. The fact that you're not giving up is inspiring. Glad you are here and hope you find this space a positive support on your journey.

This is so beautiful and gives me hope. I feel you girl. Claiming a loving and healthy relationship for both of us!

Hi all, Last night I went to a support group and I was really inspired by the other members sharing their experiences so candidly. It made me have some realizations maybe others can relate to...I feel like I've been trying to get things so perfect...how I treat people, what I say, how I act...

yes - I do see both of your points. I realized partly what got me to this point is not speaking up/setting boundaries early on in the relationships and then just overextending myself to where I feel like explaining myself is more trouble than it's worth/will negatively affect my emotional/mental...

😂😂haha pretty much

Yes - it's like I'm learning a new language lol. I really appreciate these spaces for that reason. It's fascinating how traumatic relationships seem to put these blinders on and hearing how others relate in their lives it's like a wow, a whole new world! I really appreciate your insight.