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I think it’s been an 8 year relationship, not 8 months x

Hi. I don't really know the best way of handling it, I'm afraid. I've tried to figure it out for myself for three and a half years and it doesn't get any clearer or easier. All I know for sure is, in my case at least, pushing for anything always pushes him (temporarily) further away. Even for...

Somehow expected to be a mind reader. Somehow expected to know what he needs and what he doesn't. Somehow expected to always be OK with it 😠Some days I get it. Today, it's got me.

Just hang in there, it's all you can do. I've been on the rollercoaster for three years, and he comes and goes when life (and being in a relationship) gets too hard for him. He still manages to catch me off guard at times. It's like a punch to the stomach. I know what you're feeling. Nothing is...

You've just put into words what I've been trying to voice for months (years). Thank you. The emphasis is always on the supporter to not be a doormat and establish their boundaries up front, but it's not always that simple. I totally understand what you're saying. I've been there (am there again)...

Hi @Roland I'm a supporter, or at least I was until a few weeks ago. I supported my sufferer for 2.5 years, and there were lots of ups and downs during that time. Here's a few things that I've gleaned as a supporter that might answer your question. My sufferer was an isolator too, so there...

I'm so sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself and take time to heal x

Ah thank you. I really appreciate your kindness. I'm not going to lie, it hurts! I definitely think the two are linked but he says not. He also lost his lovely mum a few months ago, so I know he's deep in crappola at the moment, but cutting me off at the knees ain't gonna help! 🤷‍♀️ But there's...

Yep, I can see why that sucks. It is a one-way street most of the time, isn't it? And it is just crap. I was told a week ago, out of the blue after we we'd finally been intimate (tmi too 😁) for the first time in 2.5 years (down to his 'issues' not mine) that he never said he wanted a...

Hi @Blue89 I'm so sorry this is causing you so much pain. No-one can tell you what to do, but sadly I do think he's leaving you with few choices at the moment. Like @DentedCan 2.0 I hung in there and hung in there, always trying to understand and always being there for him. The horribly sad...

Ditto to @DentedCan 2.0 You did nothing wrong. You asked for clarity in a situation that was unclear. There is absolutely nothing wrong in that. If he didn't have PTSD, he most likely would be able (or at least willing) to try to explain and to understand that his actions are hurtful to you...

I'm so sorry for everything you're going through @Blue89 It totally sucks. For what it's worth, I suspect he can keep in touch with other people (including his ex) because they aren't important to him and the interactions don't cause him extra stress and emotion. Down the line, if friendship is...

You're very welcome. And I'll still be checking in here from time to time as I've become invested in so many people's journeys. Hang in there, you will come out the other side. And so will I x

Not sure if this will help you much, but yesterday evening I got a message telling me he never wanted to be in a relationship in the first place and he can't do it. After 2.5 years of push-pull, and becoming properly intimate for the first time last week! Which is probably why he's saying this...

Everything you're saying is exactly what I've said to myself too. The truth is I don't know how they just cut us out, but they do. I spent months wondering if he'd been lying to me all along about how he feels, but when he not symptomatic and we talk about it, I know he really cares and...

3 days is long when your heart is breaking, I get it. It's down to you, and only you, how you move forward. I know the first time it happened to me, I just couldn't let him go. I let him isolate, yes, and I left him alone for a few weeks at a time, but then I sent a funny meme or a quick...

I'm sorry you're going through this. It hurts, I know (firsthand). You've had some spot on replies so far, even though I know they won't be making things any clearer or easier for you. The trouble is, how you react to this (much like how he reacts) is different for you than it might be for...

Thanks @Freida for your side of things. It always really helps to hear that he's not the only one (I know, of course, that he isn't but it's sometimes so hard to see the wood from the trees!) I try my hardest to leave him alone when he's isolating but it's a work in progress 🤷‍♀️. To be honest...

I'm lucky on that front, at least. He very rarely lashes out. Isolating is his go-to every time. I hate it. 😒 It's soul destroying. This evening, he's reached out. Perhaps it's the start of him coming out of it again, perhaps not. Who knows? I sure as hell don't!! I hope you're having a good...

Three weeks completely AWOL, he pops up to say he's sorry, then AWOL again. 10 more days and counting. Not personal, no. I get that. Personally affects me, hell yes!! I f**king hate isolation. I f**king hate PTSD. I f**king hate two steps forward, three steps back. That's my Monday morning...

Hi @OliveJewel We absolutely are attracted to each other, and I totally agree with you that an intimate relationship needs to be working towards sex otherwise it's a friendship - which can be great too, of course, but isn't the same thing. I'd be totally confused too if I wasn't sure that he...

Hi. Not sure if this helps, so please only take what does (if anything) and leave the rest. Flipping this around, I'm dating a man with C-PTSD. In between the push-pull, periods of complete withdrawal by him and Covid, it's not been an easy 2 years. And here's the shocking part which I know...

Hi. I haven't posted for some time but have kept on reading. The actions of your guy (making a plan, being excited about it, then panicking and cancelling) are identical to the way my sufferer used to behave. He did it over and over again until it eventually became too stressful for him and he...

Sadly, I think this is likely to be a pattern from him. 'My' guy had very little social media so I never had this problem but from reading other posts here, it's quite common for a sufferer who isolates to watch their supporter on social media but still ignore them. I'm not defending his...

Hi there. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I know firsthand how it feels. Being a supporter to someone with PTSD is very confusing and at times, painful, and it's possible that you'll never know for sure what's going on with him right now. The one thing that everyone said to me...