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  1. R

    Not Well At Present

    It comes and goes in waves doesn't it. Does for me anyway. Like the ebb and flow of the tide. I usually try to refortify when the tide goes out to prepare for the onslaught when the tide comes in. Problem is that the power of the water is just too strong most of the time. Need a dozer to build...
  2. R

    Medication V No Medication

    Meds..........SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) I mean surely with all in medical advances, if the specific serotonin that is being selected acually can be selected, then why can't the one that needs to be selected (and treated) be identified, and thus eliminating the need for...
  3. R

    The Mood Thread

    Taking a break. The deathstar will be fully operational soon. Patience......patience. (Fades away with evil and progressive laughter)
  4. R

    The Mood Thread

    Refusing to be in a bad mood, even though the intrusions are there, and becoming stronger as usual. I'm sure I'll trip, and fall face first into it again, but hey I've come to expect it. No suprise anymore. Been reading other threads, and it is amazing how similar what others experience are to...
  5. R

    The Mood Thread

    I won Individual unemployability from the VA. Found out today. Happy that the fight is over.
  6. R

    The Mood Thread

    Past off to a NP who is from NY. It's gonna take me at least a day and a half to land again from talking with her for 5 minutes. Wow. My mood: Astonished with the firm expectation of running face first into my old buddy anger from the inability of my so called treatment team to recognize one...
  7. R

    The Mood Thread

    Still hiding. Really enjoyed the fireworks on new years. (NOT) Back on Celexa (Citalophram). Added to my list propranolol, and gonna try Lunesta (Eszopiclone). Hoping to dream about butterflies like the commercial.:D
  8. R

    The Mood Thread

    Enjoyed a little staycation at my VAMC. Am back into the real world again. Exhausted. Had a bad anxiety attack with my heart rate pounding between 140 and 150 for like 6 hours. Time to hide for a while again.
  9. R

    The Mood Thread

    Tryed a new med. Mirtazapine (Remeron). Been sick as a dog. Thinkin' I should just stick to greens, and whiskey. At least a hangover is predictable.
  10. R

    The Mood Thread

    Doin better today. Still mean what I said in my last post though. I have good news from the VA. I pretty much have nailed the IU coffin down. Here is an recent entry adding to a c&p exam I had 5 months ago....... *After reviewing Dr. F's exam, it is my opinion that the Veteran would have...
  11. R

    I'm lost. I don't fit in.

    Yes, but many (in MH profession) don't really comprehend the desperation when reliving all the crap. There are three types that I've observed: 1)Those who have gotten into MH to help themselves, and have gotten a significant amount of control over their own experiences, and now want to...
  12. R

    The Mood Thread

    I know it's been a few days since posting, and I appologize for that, but I've been experiencing what I know to be reality. It's not good. There are alot of really messed up people out there that have no connection to the millitary. I look at myself and others, and am quite perplexed as to...
  13. R

    The Mood Thread

    Doing alright today mentally. Rather scattterbrained though. Stomach is really messed up. Need rest which I just cannot get as usual. Life goes on either way.
  14. R

    The Mood Thread

    Heavily medicated.........cannot turn my brain off. Time for the greens.Then I'll go bye bye for a few hours hopefully.
  15. R

    The Mood Thread

    Had a pos. day for the most part today, but am drained all the way to feeling as giddy as a school girl. Been crunching paperwork (past employment verifications) to get approved for IU through the VA. Am at 70% combat related (Serv. Conn.) ptsd through them, and on ssd. Going tomorrow to get...
  16. R

    The Mood Thread

    The Mood Thread Complete darkness or a glimmer of light, how are u right now. I'm physically, mentally wiped out, and think maybe I can get some sleep. The usual psycho dreams are a given, but I think i'm gonna pop some ambien, and tizanidine and hope for the best. I'm unusually...
  17. R

    Love

    I've yerned for a good healthy relationship. Still toy with it in my head every now and then. For me it's simply not an option anymore. I would not be able to deal with any arguments, or tifts in a healthy way. Not fair to the other person. That's just me. All or nothing right.:cool:
  18. R

    Newb

    I hear ya. I'm afraid of what comes out of my supressed memories. I can only deal with it in little tiny pieces if at all. I saw a counsellor at the VA here in denver recently. She asked if I had homocidal ideation.......I got about three words out heading in the direction of fantasising about...
  19. R

    Newb

    No problem. Let me know, if by popular demand, any requests come up.;)
  20. R

    Military Worst Anger Moments (As They Come To You)

    Too many to list. My question is this....how many times can a person go through the ringer untill they finally get rung.
  21. R

    I Hate Veteran's Day

    I have no friends, and I never go anywhere, so that pretty much solves the problem of anyone thanking me for my service.
  22. R

    Newb

    Newb Hey all, First post, and am really bad at breaking the ice. I'm no war hero, or bull$hit artist. I'm just another non-rate that got screwed up, and am simply trying to maintain a little oxygen in my blood. 8
  23. R

    Poll When Did the Symptoms of PTSD First Appear, After the Initial Traumatic Event?

    Trauma was in 95, and I had symptoms imediately afterwards. Was unsuccessful at beating them down in my twelve years of denial till finally my body gave out, and I found myself in the ER with no explanation as to why. Stupid me.
  24. R

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    Hello darkness my old friend....... I've come to talk with you again. Feel hopeless........again.
  25. R

    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I've managed to out drink my brother/roomate again. I even went down to Carlie Brown's (a bar near by), and had a heinny after he passed out. Came back to the apt. and fired up the greens again. I've got to be setting some kind of fraternity record lately. I feel nothing but buzz right now...
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