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    Sexual Assault Extreme fear after consensual intimacy, anyone else?

    After intercourse/intimacy with my significant other of almost 14 years, I lay awake feel fearful, frozen, almost unable to move. Does this happen to anyone else? Any suggestions for how to help it? It's only been recently that I've been able to identify that this is what is happening. I lived...
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    Sexual Assault Did you ever antagonize your abuser(s)? Did you decide you wanted it?

    Did you ever purposefully make your abuser mad? Did you give in and just let them hurt you? Did you decide you wanted what they were doing instead of fighting? Instead of leaving? I was abused at home from very young. Mostly physical abuse, but there was some other types sometimes too. As an...
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    Intrusive thoughts, crying, self harm, substance abuse...you name it, I've been there this weekend...

    I've been doing prolonged exposure for awhile now. It's been bringing up increased urges for self harm and substance use for most of that time. However those urges have been building and getting worse. I used to cut daily, or more. I just did. It's just been a part of my day since before I can...
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    Sexual Assault Why did it happen so many times?

    I was sexually assaulted by a previous pyschologist. I was 17, he was, well 'old'. I was admitted for a suicide attempt and he was the psych. It's kind of a complicated trauma that happened in the middle of other complicated traumas. I've been working on it in my current therapy however and my...
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    Sexual Assault Interacting with my 1st Rapist

    The first time I was raped was almost 18 years ago. I was in a relationship with this man, though I was 12 and he was 17 initially. I was raped on my 13th birthday and he was 18 at that time. The relationship and future assaults went on for several years after that. Most consistently for 2...
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    Medical Recent Hospitalization - Am I adding medical trauma?

    I've had PTSD for 10+ years due to ongoing childhood trauma of multiple types by multiple people. I then seemed to add "caregiver" trauma to the list after my son nearly died shortly after birth and then has also had many medical complications for several years. Now, I was recently hospitalized...
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    Intense Emotions after Sex

    When I don't dissociate sex, I experience extreme anxiety and fear afterwards. Fear he's going to leave. Fear I did something wrong, that I let myself feel it, so he's going to be grossed out by me. It's intense and I never know what to do with it. Trying to be physically closer to him...
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    Prolonged Exposure Fear of Sexually Exciting Therapist

    Anyone ever have fear of causing arousal in your T while talking through very specific details of sexual trauma? I have had same T for 3 years. It has taken that long to get to the point where I can talk much at all. This is our 2nd (kind of 3rd) trauma event that we are working through using...
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    It's Been Awhile

    I have not been on for SO long. Just saying hi. I'm surprised I actually still see some of the same names. I'm pretty sure I was in Doctoral school or just finished the last I was on. It's been a crazy 3.5ish years since then. A new State, a new house, a new kid. Wow! I have been in therapy...
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    Lacking Support

    Bare with me here, as I was having a hard time deciding what topic area to place this under. It seems I have about 5+ new-ish issues all going on at the same time causing me to go from a place where I was feeling better than I had in a couple years, to really bad again...and almost all of them...
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    Totally Mind Blown

    I've had some intense therapy sessions lately. Starting some exposure type therapy, with an intermixing of CBT. At least that's how I understand it, I don't think we're really doing any one specific treatment protocol because we tried that and I shut down completely. Last week I disclosed a...
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    Dealing With Irrational Anxiety...is It Irrational At All?

    I'm constantly worrying over things that may or may not be rational, but no matter how often I try to tell myself when even I realize i'm not being realistic, I just feel worse. Right now, specifically, I'm struggling with the fact that my children are sick yet again and I'm missing class yet...
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    Starting New Type Of Treatment In Therapy

    I just started with a new therapist (psychologist really), and he wants to start a new kind of treatment plan. I've never really done any treatment plan. Mostly they just ask questions and I talk, some, usually not a lot. I'm not really overflowing with things I feel like talking about. This...
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    What Do I Tell My "old" T? Or Do I Tell Her?

    I moved a few months ago and had to switch T's. My first T, from before I moved, was literally my very first (voluntarily chosen) T and I had an amazing connection with him. He was extremely supportive and almost always exactly what I needed. Even when he wasn't what I needed, we got through it...
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    Apparently We're All On The Genius Level!

    I have no clue how reliable this actually is but I found it highly interesting! People who sleep less typically have higher IQ's. http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/night-owls-creative-intelligent/686025/
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    Shouldn't There Be Something Else?

    Inside I struggle like crazy. I have no friends. Despite trying to have friends, and really being more open to the idea it just doesn't work out for me. I get along with people really well, but when it comes to actually hanging out outside of work or school I for whatever reason become...
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    Not Sure I Should Keep This T

    I started with a new T the end of August. There are many reasons why this was especially hard for me. She is only my second T (voluntarily choosen) and I had a hard time leaving my first one. Things ended with my first T due to me moving, but it was still very difficult for me. One of my big...
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    Therapist Leaving, How Do I Handle This?

    I feel like I've somehow made a relationship mistake yet again. I started therapy, for the first time ever pretty much minus a couple involuntary experiences growing up, 8 months ago. Not very long, at least not compared to many posts I have read previously. It is a long story on how I worked...
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    Terrible Flashbacks After Surgery

    I had surgery this week on my shoulder. I actually had the same surgery 2 years ago on my other shoulder, so luckily I was not too concerned or worried before the surgery. I have 2 kids, one who doesn't walk yet, and I have to be tied up in a sling for 6 weeks so I was worried about taking care...
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    Graduating, But It Doesn't Feel Real...

    So I'm officially graduating from undergrad. My commencement ceremony is tomorrow. For the most part I'm excited. It's been a long road with two kids, two jobs...and going to school that's 70 miles away in a program that requires 20-30 hours a week of clinic on top of regular class time and of...
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    Is This Ptsd Or Something Else?

    Sometimes I have extreme difficulty sleeping. I know difficulty sleeping is common with PTSD, I've had PTSD for 10ish years, I've slept terrible since before that, but for reasons I blamed on the PTSD since the time I can remember having it. However, there are some times, more so in the last...
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    1st Flashback At Therapy

    I was SO afraid to have a flashback at therapy. This is my first time in therapy voluntarily, and it was one of my biggest fears to have a flashback in front of him. Well, it happened today. It's only the 5th appointment, but we have talked about my past and trauma. Mostly through email...
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    My 1st Voluntary Therapy Appointment

    There is another whole thread regarding how I found this psychologist, and the struggles I have with therapy. I was SO afraid and nervous. We started out messaging on an anonymous message system. He continued to state that he would like me to keep thinking about coming in, and I DID it. I was...
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    Sick Of My Brain!

    So I'm a full-time college student, taking 19 credits. This typically would have been busy because I also have 2 kids, drive 70 miles to school each day, 2 jobs, and 20-30 hours of clinical a week. I sustained a concussion over break though, and now I CAN'T think. This isn't so much PTSD...
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    Ptsd And School

    I'm having a very hard time these first couple weeks of this semester trying to get into my schoolwork. I want to do good, and just study, but all I can think about is my life. I can't concentrate when I try to read. The only homework that seems to even maybe keep me busy is Chemistry, and even...
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