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  1. M

    Holiday Blues

    Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with depression for many years, with the exception of the holidays. Before I met my husband, a gloom would descend over me for at least some part of the holidays. It was just like clinical depression, with the accompanying negativism and hopelessness, though it...
  2. M

    News Article About Teenage Pediophiles Struggling Not To Offend

    I think this article provides a genuine investigation into what it's like to be a pediophile. Be warned it contains a scene of abuse in the opening that could be triggering (I suggest skipping directly to the 2nd paragraph)...
  3. M

    Shamanic Healing: After Effects

    I'd appreciate any thoughts about my experience. I'm baffled about what's happening now, worried but hopeful. I choose to see a shamanic healer as an alternative to EMDR after experiencing a shamanic journey at my yoga center and revisiting Peter Levine's "Waking the Tiger". I went hoping for...
  4. M

    "the Sorrows Of An American" By Siri Hustvedt - Beautiful Novel About Trauma

    The inscription on the cover page are lines from the poet Rumi: Don't turn away. Keep looking at the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you. The novel is a meditation about the effects of trauma. I didn't realize at first reading it; the experiences described feel ordinary: going...
  5. M

    Can I Heal From C-ptsd? - Yes!

    Can I heal from C-PTSD? I see this question, or some variation of it, a lot on this forum. I asked it myself over and over again as a young woman when I was first in recovery, though there was no name for C-PTSD back then. Recovery required faith that I could heal, and when I despaired, my...
  6. M

    News Terry Richardson - Scumbag - Anyone Else?

    So, yet another profile piece appeared about Terry Richardson, the fashion photographer who has been accused of predatory behavior by his models, this time in New York magazine. There's no ambiguity about his behavior. He produces pornographic photographs of teenage girls aspiring to be models...
  7. M

    Spiritually And Creatively Bereft - Related To Trauma Work?

    I've always had a strong sense of a spiritual connection with the universe. I also have always felt the need to express myself creatively. When I was a teenager and things were at their worst, I felt I wrote "in a vacuum", but I still wrote. I was driven to connect with something larger than...
  8. M

    Spiritually & Creatively Dark Period - Related To Traumatic Memory?

    I've always had a strong sense of a spiritual connection with the universe. I also have always felt the need to express myself creatively. When I was a teenager and things were at their worst, I felt I wrote "in a vacuum", but I still wrote. I was driven to connect with something larger than...
  9. M

    Self-isolating

    I don't think of myself as someone who does this. I'm normally quite happy to go out, to meet friends, to do stuff, to meet new people. But I'm realizing that it's a problem for me. I do it often when I'm dealing with memories, which I've been the past couple of days. I don't feel safe going out...
  10. M

    Emdr - What's Normal?

    I hate EMDR. While going through EMDR, I have body memories, strong emotions, bad dreams, an exhaustion that sometimes feels like depression, an inability to concentrate, and I struggle with dissociation, self-isolation, and leaving the house. All this, despite very strong resources. I do feel...
  11. M

    I Am Going Into Battle Today ... By Sending Out A Bunch Of E-mails

    I am in the midst of processing the hardest traumas of my life. I once wrote: "he tied me down in childhood, when I first began to stretch my growing arms." My abuser worked to systematically destroy my self efficacy and erode my accomplishments right when I was on the brink of leaving him. I...
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