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    Dom Violence When do you stop looking over your shoulder?

    I've had no contact from my abusive ex since the criminal court case in April. My therapist seems to think its a little strange that I take a sturdy knife with me when I go outside at night to take my large dogs to the toilet. How do you stop looking over your shoulder when someone who has the...
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    My ex is back in the area and the nightmares have started again

    I left him just over a year ago. I've had nightmares on and off. After the verdict was handed down in the trial (he got off all 11 charges, the protection order was dropped and they gave him back his firearm), I had a couple of nightmares but then I was really good for a couple of months...
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    Relationship I’ve left him and he doesn’t care

    So I’ve left him. Quit my job, taken my dog and whatever I could fit into my car and gone. He’s not even upset. He just says “we don’t get along”, “I just want peace and quiet” and played me Adele’s “Love in the Dark”. After 5 years of loving sacrifice I mean nothing to him.
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    General Self care - or not...

    I know that I am suffering from carer's fatigue. I'm exhausted - physically, mentally and emotionally. I am on antidepressants and seeing a therapist. Every single time I try and practice some self care my vet sabotages it. I'm not allowed to be on Facebook - he doesn't approve of it. I...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    Dear Director of Nursing, As discussed by telephone today, my partner X underwent an Endoscopy on Thursday 15 March 2018 performed by Dr L. X is a combat veteran who has been medically retired due to PTSD. While placing X under sedation, the doctor administering the medication asked him what...
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    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    So... I've been with my veteran for nearly five years. We've been living together for four years. In that time he has been verbally abusive and on one occasion physically abusive. He has always had old fashioned ideas of appropriate behaviour between men and women. He has always said that...
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    Perceptions, reality and ptsd - sufferer input please!

    As a supporter it can be very difficult to know how to handle what appears to me to be cognitive distortions. Eg 1 - 4 wheel driving - tree across track forced him to turn back. When telling me about it he says "We didn't get ambushed but we had to go the long way around." He's in an...
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    General Lack of empathy

    I'm physically not very well at the moment. My vet has absolutely zero empathy for me. He expects me to simply carry on as if nothing is the matter. If I do try to "push through" my physical symptoms, I get zero acknowledgement of that - in fact, he says I can't be that sick if I can do xyz...
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    General Overreacting?

    I was sleeping in the spare room because I'm unwell. My vet was watching tv in the lounge. I got up to get a drink from the kitchen. He calls out "who's that?". Um who the hell would it be? We live 20km out of town. Our nearest neighbour is about 2km away. You haven't heard a vehicle. Our dogs...
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    General Hold onto your hats...

    Remembrance Day is next weekend. That should put him in a foul mood until at least Christmas, which puts him in a spin until at least Australia Day which causes issues until at least mid Feb which is the first anniversary of the death of his service dog, which will be awfully hard until at...
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    General This isn't living

    This is just existing. Between the verbal abuse, the threats of violence and the isolation this isn't a relationship. I shouldn't feel like i have to endure life. I feel like I've lost all the joy in my life. You brought so much into my life to start with but its all leached away. Too much...
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    General Soldiers and "down time" - or lack thereof

    My veteran absolutely HATES to see me relax. As I sit down for a cuppa he will say something like 'Did the washing machine finish yet?' or 'Have the dogs been fed?' or my least favourite 'What are you doing now?' Is this hypervigilance? Army culture? PTSD? ADHD? TBI? Arrgghhh...
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    Relationship Maybe its me...

    I think I am incapable of having a functional relationship. The honest truth is that I don't think I deserve love. I am not my authentic self in relationships because I do not believe that anyone would love my authentic self. Then, when it becomes too hard to maintain the facade of a person I...
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    General Shut outs and not feeling loved

    My vet rarely physically isolates for very long and we live together. However, he withdraws emotionally and puts up walls. When he is in this "mood" there is no physical affection, little communication and "I love you" will result in silence rather than a response. This can last a few...
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    Relationship End of my tether

    I think I have finally reached my limit. My vet has had a terrible time over the last 6 months and despite all my attempts to help him he blames me, lashes out at me and shows no appreciation whatsoever for my efforts. I have tried to be understanding and allow him time and space to grieve...
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    General Medical bureaucracy

    He went off to the public hospital today on his own. I had to work. He drove for 3 hours to get there. They lost some of his paperwork and turned him away from the x-ray department. When they finally got in touch with the specialist, he denied he had ever written a request for an x-ray, but...
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    Offensive name for sandwich

    So... I wondered into a cafe in my small town - no particular theme to the cafe - to find that on the menu board along with things like a BLT was a sandwich named Pearl Harbour. Some kind of fish with Japanese mayonnaise. I couldn't help it. Had to ask for the manager. Asked him if he...
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    Effective Treatment?

    So... as I become more involved in the veteran community the more it seems to me that there is little to no treatment available once the veteran has been discharged - let alone effective treatment. I know of at least 4 veterans who have been medically discharged as Totally and Permanently...
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    General His Support Dog Died

    His best mate, his baby girl, his constant companion, his digger. Lost to a brown snake at just 2 years old. We did everything we could to save her, but the poor little bugger had no chance. To describe him as devastated doesn't come close. He's wracked with sobs, keening, begging for...
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    Relationship Is There A "right" Response?

    Didn't want to hijack @Hojay's thread but really wanted to talk about this more so... @Friday's posted conversation was very close to what happens between me and my vet. This is what we've been doing for a while now: Him: (out of nowhere and usually while I'm trying to help him with something...
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    General Insomnia

    So... recent research seems to indicate that repeated exposure to blasts (rockets, IED. mortars) causes damage to the sleep centres of the brain. My vet needs sleeping tablets to get any sleep at all. But the civilian doctors - with no experience of treating patients suffering from the...
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    Relationship Jealousy

    My vet has a tendency to get angry with me if another man shows the slightest bit of interest. I know I do not flirt or in any way encourage other men. In the three years we have been together, it has happened three times. The first time my vet told me he didn't love me anymore and we...
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    General Stubborn To The Point Of Stupid

    Can anyone shed some light on why my vet is SO resistant to seeing doctors? He has had a painful lump in his lower jaw for 2 weeks and I have only now been able to nag him into seeing a doctor. I'm still not sure he will actually turn up even though the appointment is in half an hour. His...
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    General Justifying Disgnosis

    My vet and I are friends with a woman he knows through a mate. She is a physical training instructor in the Army. I was talking to her on the phone last night - she knows I am away from my vet visiting family - and she told me how she's spoken to my vet's former CO and he says they didn't...
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    Relationship Penny Finally Dropped

    As many of you know, we lost a foal over the weekend. Although I'm not religious, I believe things happen for a reason. It has taken days for me to come to understand that as much joy as the little man would have brought into our lives, his death has broken down barriers between my veteran and...
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