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  1. jaccat

    Recent loss complicated by trauma - Strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function

    I lost my brother N in January this year. N and I went through hell together, he took the brunt of it. We lost our other brother, J four years before N died, our dad, five years before that. There's been a lot of loss and I know grief pretty well. N died of an aggressive brain tumour, after...
  2. jaccat

    Needing some self-compassion

    Not sure what I’m asking for. I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, work stuff mostly, but also other things. I blew up at my manager a few days ago, yelled at him, probably went too far. I’m off now for 10 days but I’m going to have to do something about that when I go back. In the...
  3. jaccat

    CBTi experiences?

    I’m currently going through a CBTi course (cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia), at an NHS sleep clinic. It involves a combination of sleep hygiene, sleep restriction and CBT techniques to improve/fix insomnia. Most of the techniques I already know and have been practicing for years, but...
  4. jaccat

    Other Coping with fatigue

    I get fatigue pretty regularly, have done for years. It can last anything from a single day to a few weeks at a time. I’ve been fatigued for the last few weeks and am at the end of my tether with it. I’m calling the doctors on Monday. There are reasons for me to get it. I’ve been diagnosed with...
  5. jaccat

    So angry I'm getting myself in trouble at work.

    All my life I've repressed my feelings. I'm not used to feeling much of anything, other than the occasional temper flare, which usually burns out pretty quick. But for the last few weeks I've been kind of on edge, snapping over little things for very little reason. My T is convinced I'm...
  6. jaccat

    Triggered by noise invasion, unable to sleep, unable to escape.

    There's currently work going on ouside my house. It started over a week ago, and as soon as they started digging ditches I knew I was at risk of being triggered into an insomnia attack. When I stop sleeping, I stop altogether. The ditches stretch about 15 metres in either direction of my...
  7. jaccat

    Strategies for making/faking eye contact for interview next week.

    I can't do eye contact. Even with my closest friends I avoid looking at their faces except for the briefest glance. I know why I can't, and that it has a big chunk to do with childhood neglect, and a whole lot to do with toxic shame from my hugely dysfunctional family, and I'm working on...
  8. jaccat

    Need help extricating myself from impossible situation

    This is going to take some explaining, so you might have to bear with- Almost three months ago my brother died. He had a dog, an ageing Staffie, that, my family were informed, had been rehomed with a loving family. This was a weight off our minds, with everything else going on. My brother, J...
  9. jaccat

    Self-compassion- What Does It Look Like?

    I am struggling to understand what self-compassion is, without turning it into a bad thing. So, last night I had a recollection of something that was pretty much my day to day life as a child. Several hours after that I realised that the momemnt of recollection was was the one at which my...
  10. jaccat

    I Volunteered At A Community Event.

    Tonight I volunteered at a community event. Just a year ago I was unable to even go out for a night with work colleagues, with social anxiety pretty much crippling me, not to mention trust issues and no sense of self-worth. Tonight's event involved me turning up alone to a meeting of strangers...
  11. jaccat

    Upcoming Interview, Interviewer Believes I Have Issues With People Skills.

    This has been going round in my head for days and I'm getting nowhere. I have an interview next week for my manager's job position. I'm currently a supervisor. I thought I had a pretty good chance- from a technical viewpoint I have masses more experience than any of the other applicants...
  12. jaccat

    Do You Have A Wish List?

    My therapist has set me a challenge. Next week I am to tell her one achievable thing that's on my wish list. I am really struggling with this so I thought to reach out and see if anybody here has a wish list and what sorts of things are on it. Also any advice to help me would be hugely...
  13. jaccat

    News Uk Petition To Try And Protect Camhs Child And Mental Health Service

    Link Removed I just signed it. It can only help.
  14. jaccat

    Way Out Of My Comfort Zone

    So tomorrow is the day I've got a 100 mile drive for a work training session. It's probably twice as far again as I've ever driven in my eight years of driving, and on a motorway, which I've never driven on before. It seems a stupid thing to get anxious about. I've done the journey as a...
  15. jaccat

    Obsessive Counting?

    The first time I remeber doing this I was 9 and on a trip to my baby cousin's christening. I kind of became obsessed with the number 3 and started counting everything in threes. I remember being shouted at by my mum because I couldn't keep up with her when we were out walking and I was counting...
  16. jaccat

    News Something Positive In The Uk News

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-31483186 My therapist mentioned seeing this, so I looked it up. I just wanted to jump up and down and shout yes! Someone's saying it out loud...:joyful:
  17. jaccat

    Dom Violence Saw This On Facebook

    http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/the-unspoken-secrets-about-life-after-abuse-fiff/ I thought after the threads that have been posted here recently people might find it interesting. Not that it tells you how to go about achieving those results.
  18. jaccat

    Confused Now

    So I've been in a pretty strange place all day. I think this has been creeping up on me all week. Earlier this week I posted something about a song from Matilda the Musical in here. I mentioned it on another thread and it reminded me of how I felt when I saw the show. I didn't know what it was...
  19. jaccat

    Tense While Sleeping?

    i have a major problem with relaxing. I've recently realised just how tense I am, and how it's affecting my health. I have problems with my back, shoulders and arms, not to mention digestive issues and so on. I've been seeing a chiropracter for a while now. The problem is while I might be fine...
  20. jaccat

    A Brush With A Narcissist

    Reading things on this site are making me recognise things from my past. The incidents I'm going to describe happened a few years ago now. I used to work on a checkout in a supermarket. I saw plenty of different kinds of customers, from nice friendly ones to right idiots. But not much bothered...
  21. jaccat

    Something Therapist Said Has Left A Horrible Image In My Head

    Unpleasant imagery: It's not a memory. We were discussing my reactions to my brother's attempted suicide when I was 5. I told her it was around then I began to prepare myself for the possibility of him dying. Not just him, but my mum too. I was not much older than that when I overheard a friend...
  22. jaccat

    I Passed The Test

    It took three days of training in the freezing cold, aching muscles, a fair amount of anxiety and one killer headache but I'm now officially qualified to drive a bendi-truck at work. So glad I stuck with it. Not only will it make my job easier, but it's an unusual skill I can take elsewhere...
  23. jaccat

    Feeling, Not Thinking.

    This has probably been asked before but I'd be interested to know how those of you struggle with 'feeling' things connect to your emotions. I'm having real trouble connecting to my feelings. Even on a day to day basis it takes real effort to figure out if I'm feeling good or bad or angry or...
  24. jaccat

    Sufferer Hello

    Hello, I've just found this forum through Pete Walker's book on complex PTSD. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I'm still suffering from PTSD due to my hugely disfunctional childhood. I naively thought I'd managed to put it behind me. My mother was an alcoholic. She was violent...
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