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  1. St.Maybe

    Dealing With Nightmares And Anxiety, After Current Partner Yelled At Me.

    I had a nightmare about my ex. I looked at him and felt this intense annoyance. “Aren’t you dead? He said you were dead…” I was confused, and I don’t remember what happened in the dream but I woke up filled with anxiety. The night before, the “he” in question, the man I love, had lost his shit...
  2. St.Maybe

    Re-introduction

    Hi... I hope anyone who reads this is well. Smile if you have a sec :) or two or three. I haven’t been here in years... SO much has happened, and I know no one will remember me. But I’m Reno (nickname from childhood, too terrified to put my name even on Facebook lol) and I hope I’ll be around...
  3. St.Maybe

    Dom Violence Dv charges

    Today the state took out a domestic violence charge... against me, after I knocked out my boyfriend in the middle of a suicide attempt... his second attempt this month. He was in the middle of a severe flashback, and began doing the same things he did the last time he tried to kill himself...
  4. St.Maybe

    Dom Violence Okay so i cussed a little

    I'm scared... I just spent an hour and a half at the police station being bullied and sweet-talked by a dispatcher and an officer in turn throughout my attempt to file an official complaint for police failure to follow up or collect evidence after my ex shot at my house. This after him...
  5. St.Maybe

    Relationship Ptsd+ptsd

    Hello, I hope this finds everyone well. I haven't posted or been around in a long time but I'm very confused and could use some help.. my current boyfriend has ptsd and I've found it extremely difficult to handle his sensitivities. Certain things upset him so much that he's all bit guaranteed...
  6. St.Maybe

    I Asked For Help!

    Not professional help... but I did ask my neighbor (the less-creepy one) to grab my laundry out of the dryer and bring it up to me. I injured both my knees, though one much worse than the other- and I twisted the opposite ankle to that particular knee... those stairs have been killing me all...
  7. St.Maybe

    ED Lines between fasting and disordered eating

    Lately I've been over-eating and under-eating in turn. Stuffing myself and then eating perhaps once in a day, typically late at night or after getting off the phone with my mom. It's not always conscious, but sometimes the under-eating is in response to the over-eating. This overlaps a lot with...
  8. St.Maybe

    Ex Routinely Tries To Get Into My House At All Hours

    First and foremost, whoever happens upon this, I wish you excellent health and excessive laughter. I've been on here (/online in general) significantly less in the past several months, and I'm nervous to throw this out there but I really need help. It's been about 6 months since I broke up with...
  9. St.Maybe

    Incapacitating Anxiety- Management?

    Hi all. I haven't been around on this site for a while... I feel like I've mostly been in bed since I was last here- but I'm starting to come back around and function again. From facing eviction to being at least a month ahead on all my bills including rent, I have to say that first and...
  10. St.Maybe

    Self Hate Is A Tricky Little Beast

    Here we go again. The slightest issues make me feel insanely guilty- enter self-hate and suddenly I'm considering suicide? It's ridiculous and I'm trying to slow down my mind but it's clear to me that my symptoms and things are gradually getting out of hand. I'm afraid that it's this wild kind...
  11. St.Maybe

    Aiming At Healing From Different Perspectives (a Personal Problem)

    I recently had a bit of a debate with a friend about the nature of healing, and how to heal. I welcome any thoughts/opinions/advice- I'm not asking a specific question but I am looking for feedback. I told my friend that I'd recently come home to find that one of my abusers (we call him Bean)...
  12. St.Maybe

    Catatonia

    When I use the therm "dissociate" to describe my behavior, I don't mean it within the context of DID... when I say I experienced severe dissociation, I mean that I blacked out, and was allegedly catatonic during this time. Or when I experience pervasive dissociation, it means I lost my ability...
  13. St.Maybe

    Catcalls

    Even my best friend calls out to women while he drives. He has a line he always says, and sure, it could classify both as polite and as funny but IT DRIVES ME INSANE. How often do you guys experience catcalling? How does it make you feel? Does the nature of the words communicated make a...
  14. St.Maybe

    In Need Of Advice

    Hi guys. This is more off the topic of PTSD than on it, but I would deeply appreciate any advice from folks with experience being hospitalized for mental health reasons- I've been asked to speak to a case worker to give a statement that would amount to getting someone who doesn't want to be...
  15. St.Maybe

    Nightmares About Nurses

    I'm freaked out to ask this, ha, go figure. And I apologize if this sounds crass... I respect nurses very much, and all healers. But has anyone else felt traumatized or re-traumatized by their hospitalization or by their own experiences attempting suicide? It was not my first attempt, but it...
  16. St.Maybe

    New Memories?

    I don't know what's up with me. On one hand I really do feel as if I'm in a healthier place than I've been in a long time... maybe ever, and I'm so grateful. Still I find myself spinning off into this circus world of active symptoms. I feel sick to my stomach and I'm having trouble...
  17. St.Maybe

    My Life's Little Dramas: Platonic And Strictly Sexual Relationships, Respectively

    I'm a little embarrassed to write this, but I'll write it here because I don't have another place to put these thoughts, and they need out. Lately I've been in a place of anxiety... I've been ignoring my neighbors (2 of the 5 people I know in town) for a number of good reasons, but also because...
  18. St.Maybe

    Anxiety Anxiety

    God forbid I allow myself to get rest when the getting's good... no. Instead of kicking back and enjoying this moment as thoroughly as I possibly can, I sit here replaying moments of anxiety in my head. I'm still coming to terms with being alone in a town that doesn't know me or love me. It...
  19. St.Maybe

    Undiagnosed Reno, 23, Elephant Juggler

    Aloha Everyone, This is my first time stumbling across this site, but I made an account because I find myself needing support and a safe place to talk about the elephants in the room. I've never been so socially isolated in my life, so I hope this helps as I go about my solo act of juggling...
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