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    Other Asperger's/asd

    Recently I have learned that I have Autism specifically high functioning or what used to be referred to as Aspergers. I always knew I was different but it made me understand the dynamics around my rape, my responses, the interaction between me and the rapist, even my later rationalizations of...
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    Sexual Assault Ruined?

    Everyone responds differently to assault. I responded by freezing up and being obedient. He kept me for two years. Its been 12 years and still I'm afraid of men for some reason I follow the same pattern. I freeze up and follow directions or guidance. So I'm in a relationship and have been with...
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    Sufferer Impostor Syndrome, Cptsd, And Other Things

    I don't know really what to say but here goes I have C-PTSD and Depersonalization / Derealization Disorder. I am a student, a mother, and occasional writer. I was neglected as a child from about 3 to 15 at that point someone decided to keep me and that is when I started experiencing sexual...
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    Is It Wrong To Want Him To Understand & Accept Me?

    I am worried that I don't know anything but abuse. That I can't see how great everything is in my own life because I want to be abused. I really don't though or I am confused about it all. I want to feel safe really badly which seems really stupid. Safe to me means being accepted, understood...
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    Drowning From The Inside

    I feel like I should be over it but I am not. I wish I could feel safety outside of this random connection with a married man but I don't. I wish I could get over it but it just keeps growing, a darkness looming under the surface, a deep ocean wildly thrashing about inside me, water only leaking...
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