When I turned to Jesus, I felt the love of God and it helped me quite a bit toward not needing people's love, attention or acceptance. And Jesus has helped me in an on-going journey of devine healing of all my past emotional wounds as well.
"I tried to leave but he didnt listen"
Sounds concerning to me, like maybe she said no? and he kept going?
Struck me as not quite consensual, but who knows?
But it didnt sound quite right to me and made me wonder if there was more to the story, as well.
I was never "allowed" to say "no" to anything as a child. If I did, the abuse got 10 times worse. So, I understand how hard it is to set boundaries. If i am with someone safe, I can do it, no problem. But, if the person becomes hostile or threatening, I get too afraid and am liable to comply...
The trauma therapy i have had, you do not have to pick and choose which trauma to go after first. You are not expected to figure it all out. The trauma therapist will guide you. Just make sure you have a trained trauma therapist, and the therapist will do the rest. You do not have to figure the...
I was going to have surgery in the near future and 7 different people said to me "call me and let me know how it went".
It was hilarious. I was in need, so they gave me something extra to do: Now I had the task of calling them to update them on my condition. Needless to say, they did not...
I dont know for sure from your bio, so i will just ask: did you do psychotherapy SPECIFICALLY for trauma? I tried various psychologists before and got no benefit. It was a TRAUMA CENTER that knew what they were doing that saved me. Also, a therapist trained in EMDR helped me improve by leaps and...
No one believes me. I think denial is their safe place. That, of course, makes me feel like a liar, or that i just imagined everything, which is not true. I'm sorry that he is not validating you. It is wrong.
Also, i identify with all the over-thinking. Staying in my thoughts helped me avoid feelings, too.
So thinking all the time and staying perpetually driven and busy were two subconscious things i was doing to keep the memories and feelings of the abuse at bay and out of my conscious mind.
What...
Hi, I have never been diagnosed ocd, so i dont know if this is relevant at all....
BUT, there was a time in my life where i was like a machine, not feeling or enjoying anything and only living to cross things off my list for a brief sense of accomplishment, only to start all over the next day...
This post has helped me. The consequence of me never confronting my past and setting boundaries resulted in me staying in abuse for years w significant other. So, Yes, it is important to stick to boundaries to keep yourself healthy. I never did this bc of guilt and now look where i am. (Not in a...
Also, for myself, i realised his "good side" was all an illusion. He was a deceiver and a fake. He used his "good side" to manipualte me to do what he wanted. He never ever had any real "good" feelings for me. It was all control and manipulation. A faker and deceiver. Why did he threaten to kill...
Do you have any organization for those who experience domestic violence that you can get in touch with? They would definitely be sympathetic to your plight. i just got out of abusive relationship and was suicidal as well, so i can relate. Battered women's shelter was very understanding of the...
Narcissistic mother abuse which of course has near destroyed my life. Yet i still want her to love me. How pathetic is that? I sent her a gift. Maybe i will call. But, I dont want/need her love like i used to. I know who and what she is. I do it out of respect and i feel sorry for her. She is...
Before you took antianxiety (hydroxyzine and diazepam) and antipsychotic (haloperidol). So SRRI is really the recommended drug for social anxiety if i am not mistaken. In the US they dont hospitalize unless you say you are suicidal or homicidal. i dont know about Romania. But i doubt they would...
I know you don't want a therapist, but i believe there are medications (antidepressants) out there that are specifically used for social anxiety disorder. I don't know how it is in Britain, but in the US, a medical doc can write a perscription, so you dont have to go to a therapist. I have heard...
I just faced some issues similar (but not as severe) to yours and felt such crushing shame. I cried and cried and cried and felt very exposed. I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad. I do believe that I am going to start healing now that i have quit denying it. I was in severe denial for a long...
Your emotions just sound like they are very labile. This is true for me when I am in a crisis of some type, and/or being triggered. Labile just means that they are all over the map. Happy one minute, then feeling defeated the next. Are you stressed more than usual? That is a trigger for me. Its...
I liked to sing as a child age 7-9 years old. But abuse stamped it out of me. I just reecently found that i have a song to sing, and a love for singing again at age 50 something. It is bringing me great joy. I agree with ladee that at least for me it was a heart's desire that got lost with...