Ok maybe using the term csa as it relates to someone over 18 was not logical lol. On a more serious note, I actually really benefitted from your response so thank you.
It just makes me feel so gross.
hey guys
like four months ago i disclosed something to my therapist by accident that i'd sworn to myself that i'd never tell anyone. i've been shoving my feelings about it away until recently and now i'm starting to fall apart again. my dad sexually abused me from 8-18ish, stopped for a bit...
I go through this with my therapist occasionally- get close to disclosing, panic, pretend nothing is going on, then have to tell her later that I lied. Generally speaking I end up telling her the truth in writing (either an email or my journal that she reads) and she doesn’t really address it...
As far as the shame is concerned, I don’t have a lot to offer. That’s something I still struggle with a lot. I was also sexually abused by my dad and had always had a very close relationship with him- before, during, and after. Eventually he became violent and we’ve now been estranged for quite...
I have a pretty similar background as well as hip problems and pelvic pain. Never really considered that they could be related, but now that I’m reading this it does make some sense. Huh.
Yeah so I finally got the guts to tell my therapist about this today. She confirmed that this was not appropriate behaviour given the circumstances. So. Ugh. Either way, I appreciate all the feedback, guys.
Trauma is trauma is trauma. Your assault wasn’t small, he violated you and your trust. I was assaulted 6 years ago and tell myself that I shouldn’t still have such strong responses, etc. But much like you, I pushed it away out of necessity and didn’t really deal with it for a long time so it...
I hate that I’m not alone in it :-/ at this point I’m just trying to pick up the pieces/put them together. It’s so confusing because (like a lot of others here) I remember so little of my childhood. I guess I don’t really know what to do with it now. I also don’t really want to bring it up to my...
Ok something very similar happened to me a few moths ago- my wife googled my therapist and found her email online and emailed her. I was very upset, but it led to a really productive conversation with my therapist and she wasn’t upset at all. It was awkward for like 30 seconds and then we moved...
Woah. That really just blew my mind to reframe it in that way. I appreciate the insight everyone is giving! I know that what I'm doing right now is probably just bargaining but it's really hard to stop.
I like that you've sort of turned this argument on it's head. So many of us wonder if our sexuality was shaped by abuse, rather than was our PTSD shaped by our sexuality. That's definitely something to think on! :)
I’ve had the delight of a raging sinus infection for the past 2 weeks! Gotta love a constant bloody nose, steroid injections, and 14 days of antibiotics lol. Seriously though, have a hot toddy and get some rest ;) I was in a wedding this weekend and realized right before we walked down the aisle...
I see what you’re saying here and it makes perfect sense, as does the cultural difference aspect. Here’s where I’m trying to draw the line.... I know for a fact I was sexually abused by my dad starting around age 11. That part I remember explicitly. Where things get dodgy for me are leading up...
Pretty straightforward question on this one.... I suddenly realized that showering with an opposite sex parent at is considered sexual abuse at some point. What do you all think? I've had a really hard time trying to come to terms with some pretty long term csa and I'm realizing that there's a...
If you’re looking on their website or something and it says they have experience with lgbt issues, they’re likely more experienced with those than it sounds. I guess I see it as if they’re willing to go out of their way to specifically say that, then it’s probably good. Also a lot of therapists...
You can't change her past and IMO it's not fair to pass judgement on behavior someone had before you met them (other than being a terrible person, etc). Wanting to have sex isn't a character flaw. For a lot of folks who've been raped it's not only a way to regain your power over your own body...
I’ve not been with this therapist as long as four years, but I definitely know her pretty well at this point. One day I got crazy angry and left early and when I was signing her square app receipt, I accidentally touched her finger and in that moment my brain computed it as being equivalent to...
I have a very hard time with this as well. Moreso that when I’m having sex, I often have flashbacks to one of my abusers because that’s where I learned pleasure from. I don’t even know if flashback is the right word because it’s not scary at all until I start to think about it. So not...
This is very similar to how I feel. My therapist told me once that I seem a lot more comfortable in chaos, since that’s how I lived for so long. Which is completely true, even if I don’t like to tell her that she’s right. I had to make a list of unhelpful coping skills (kill me now) and I listed...
I’m generally not great at feelings (surprise!) but negative feelings are difficult for me to understand and even harder for me to show. So anger overwhelms me quickly and I don’t know what to do with it. I never really realized that I was even angry about any of my trauma until like six months...
A couple years ago I started to connect the dots about my childhood and everything kinda came crashing down in that moment. Are you ok? I know how terrifying it can feel to realize that things you’d barely remembered about your past have affected so much of your life. A few weeks ago I realized...
Hi all
So statistically speaking, those who have survived childhood trauma are more likely to be exposed to trauma as an adult. Shortly after separating myself from years of CSA, I was raped by a coworker. I never really was these two things as being correlated, but the thought has recently...
Mmmm a couple months back I really freaked out during a session and had been drinking a cup of coffee from one of the paper cups with the hard edge on the bottom- like at Starbucks. I’d gotten so upset that I was squeezing the cup (ended up putting my finger through it- whoops!) and the rim had...